Lightning Round – 2014/08/06

Just do it.
Related: Advice to prospective writers.

A simple exercise in approach.

Winning an argument with your wife.

Jack Donovan: Why are so many men applauding masculine women?
Related: The 10% law of female pollution.

Moldbug makes his hiatus official.

The progressive perversions of Christian morality.
Related: The death of Christendom.

The traditionalist worldview, Part 2.

How many neoreactionaries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

The need for neoreactionary boundaries.

On neoreaction and progress.

Men need work.
Related: Post-scarcity is coming.

Radish on the Arab Spring.

Jewish self-immolation.

Surviving an unreliable official society.

War and the ailing health of nation-states.

23 things from rules for radicals.

Why MGTOW should not be an option.

We cannot discuss everyone all the time.

NRx is about dividing the world.

Subsidiarity and freedom are unrelated.

On ideology.

Emotionocracy.

Making it big and material wealth.

Gnon is not God.
Related: Do Gnon and Elua lead to Jesus?
Related: The stupidity of democracy.
Related: Ye shall be as gods.

How Christians could conquer America.

Christians, the world’s most persecuted people.

You killed patriarchy and all you got was his stained t-shirt.

On no-fault divorce.

Answer to Donal’s question: I was romantic (bought my first girlfriend flowers every time I saw her for the month I dated her) and the idea of romance still appeals to me, I like doing things that cause someone I care about to smile, but, until I find the right gal, I avoid it because it doesn’t work and I don’t want to waste time/effort on a gal who won’t appreciate it.

“Lists” missing a key component.

Frigidity and power.
Related: Frigidity is ugly.
Related: A warning for dead bedrooms.

Romancing the personal Jesus.
Related: Fornication and the Personal Jesus.
Related: Advice for the repentant harlot.

The greatest crime against women.
Related: Beta males of the month.

Nothing angers a slave owner more
Related: The article is rather funny.

AF/BB in action.

Equality in action: Women only clubs.

On appearing faithful.

Personality and long-term reproductive success.

Your workout and social class.

Argentina defaults.

On literary envy in SF.
Related: Literary envy and the last redoubt.

Some interesting net worth facts.

The left puts up a convenient list of our enemies.

Government spends $200,000 studying why Wikipedia is sexist.

ESPN disciplining commentators for not being politically correct. Are SJW’s really their target demographic?

Homeland security agents raid home to secure Land Rover for violating EPA regs.

77% of Americans want the illegals gone.

Seems that a company now offers manservants for women and gays.

H/T: RPR, Neanderpundit, SSC, CC

Gnon and Elua

Edit 2014/08/04: A number of Christian men whose thoughts I have come to respect have made objections to this post. I have concluded that whatever my original intentions were, they do not matter at this point as, at best, the execution was flawed and deeply confused. I no longer stand behind or support what was written in this post. I’ll leave this here to read for those that may be interested, but if you decide to read it please use discernment as this post was in error. May God forgive me if this led anyone to wrong thinking. For less confused writing by on the issue at hand, see here.

Scott writes of Moloch, the demon god who traps men into sacrificing what they value most for power, and argues:

When the veil is lifted, Gnon-aka-the-GotCHa-aka-the-Gods-of-Earth turn out to be Moloch-aka-the-Outer-Gods. Submitting to them doesn’t make you “free”, there is no spontaneous order, any gifts they have given you are an unlikely and contingent output of a blind idiot process whose next iteration will just as happily destroy you.

Instead of obeying Gnon, obeying reality, we should summon forth, Elua:

He is the god of flowers and free love and all soft and fragile things. Of art and science and philosophy and love. Of niceness, community, and civilization. He is a god of humans.

Elua is just like “Love as thou wilt” and “All knowlege is worth having”. He is the patron deity of exactly the kind of sickeningly sweet namby-pamby charitable liberalism that Arthur is complaining about.”

Elua, the god of unreality, the god of progressive liberalism, who will usher forth the utopia of free love and endless pleasure. Kipling called Elua by another name:

With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
So we worshiped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

Scott wishes to create the Gods of the Market, to uplift man with hopes for Elua will make wishes of horses. He hopes that perhaps this time we can have perpetual peace, the Fuller Life, and abundance for all, that this time, prostration before Elua, unlike all prostrations to prior Gods of the Marketplace, will not result in damnation and the return of the terror and slaughter.

This time we can escape to unreality!

What Scott misses is that we are the of Gnon. We were born, evolved, and raised under the rule of Gnon; there is no escape to Elua, for we are not born of Elua, we are born of Gnon. We can not escape Gnon, because we are Gnon and Gnon is us. The only escape is total self-annihilation. He calls Elua a god of humans, but he is not, he is a god of what progressives wish humans were. He is the most inhuman and alien of gods.

Gnon is captured in verse by Kipling, Elua is captured in doggerel by Lennon:

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today…

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace…

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world…

This is the promised utopia of Elua: a life of peace, a life of hedonism, a terrifying hell devoid of meaning. Elua offers perpetual peace if you only value nothing, he offers eternal life if only you reject the bonds of kinship, he offers limitless pleasure if only you sacrifice your future for the hedonism of today, he offers untold joy if only you renounce meaning itself.

When the veil is lifted, Elua turns out to be Nihil, the limitless void. You can only embrace Elua by giving yourself to nothingness. You offer up not just your child, not just your body, but your very soul on the altar of hedonism. You achieve what you love most, pleasure, by sacrificing yourself, your hope, your purpose, your very being.

For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?

If offered, would Scott attach himself to a device that injected dopamine directly into his brain, eternal bliss if only he does not move or think?

For this is what Elua offers: eternal heroin. The god of the poppy.

Even if Scott accepts Elua’s desolate hell of eternal bliss, others wouldn’t. If it meant escape from Elua, I would help Land free Cthulu. Being eaten first would be infinitely preferable to eternal self-nullifcation. I would plunge the world into holy war if Elua were to incarnate, even the most brutal savagery of Gnon is but a tender ministration compared to the blissful void.

If Nihil is, brutal savagery is the only response. If the god of civilization is also the god of the eternal nothing, I will commit human sacrifice on the altar of the gods of savagery. If the god of bliss is the god of emptiness, I will gladly embrace pain to work to his destruction. Death, war, destruction, genocide, violence, blood, savagery, fire, all are superior to the void.

I am sure I am not alone. We men were born of Gnon, it is what were evolved for, it is what we know, it is what we are. Civilization may hold back Gnon, but if embracing Gnon is the only escape from Elua, we will burn it to the ground. Man was made for struggle, man was not made for the void. Struggle may kill the body, perpetual peace devours the soul. Gnon may be a monstrous horror, but he is our monstrous horror, Elua is a greater terror far more alien.

Do not fear those who can kill only the body; fear him who can destroy the soul.

If Scott and others try to bring forth their progressive god of the blissful void, we will work to bring their dreams to ruin. We will burn civilization to the ground and salt the ruins, for savagery is preferable to the void. We will free Gnon to from his chains if only to escape; we will unleash Cthulu and be devoured first if only he will devour Elua after. We will plunge the universe into eternal war between two superintelligences if only to stop Elua from being the only one. Better a god of infinite paper-clips than Elua. We will destroy the universe itself if only to escape into death. Better the grave than eternal self-annihilation.

Gnon may be a terrible elder god from the outer void but Elua is the void itself.

Cyclical History

Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity.
What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?
A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever…
All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.
What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun…
There is no remembrance of former things, nor will there be any remembrance
of later things yet to be among those who come after.
(Ecclesiastes 1 ESV, Selected)

History is cyclical. There is nothing new under the sun.

Civilization is in constant war with chaos. Chaos eventually, inevitably, triumphs. The civilizational cycle of growth and death never ends.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Everything man creates turns to ashes, there is no relief from the curse of Adam.

Man endures until he can’t; death his only relief. His children then endure until they can’t.

Moth and rust destroy; thieves break in and steal. All go to the grave.

Everything man builds collapses; every institution man creates falls.

Every institution but one:

The Catholic Church has yet to fall. It has been corrupted, it has been split, it has been broken, but it has always endured.

This is the light in the darkness man constantly wars against.

There is no hope, there is no relief, there is no victory, but one.

The cycle was broken once: a bloody body upon an instrument of torture, an empty pit of death.

A fire descended, a burning illumination among the horrifying darkness.

The cycle of death and entropy never ceases, but that small fire promises hope that it will.

There is a final escape from the entropic cycle for those who have the eyes to see.

For those that keep their eyes closed, the chaos will follow them beyond the grave.

***

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.
(Revelation 21:3-4,8 ESV)

Lightning Round – 2014/07/30

Dalrock makes a great post of Christian marriage advice.

On taking advice from strangers and goals.

How to tell interesting stories.

The definition of game: for the next time a nominalist/essentialist argument breaks out on the subject.

Science: Men like nice girls; women don’t like nice guys.

Marriage should be the smart economic decision.

Women: If you’re not ready to provide sex often and regularly, you’re not ready for marriage.
Related: 7 reasons for the wife to just do it.
Related: Woman has sex with husband every day for a month and, surprise, her relationship is better.
Related: Dealing with a hateful wife.
Related: The sex spreadsheet is the best argument against marriage yet made.
Related: Conservative white-knighting.
Related: A good comment thread going on the issue.
Related: Remember, modern women will treat the guy they date better than the guy the marry.

A post by a woman for women on age gaps in marriage.
Related: Natural beauty tips for women.

The Umlaut: A gentle introduction to NRx for libertarians.

Frame control for conservatives.
Related: Memetic warfare.
Related: A rhetorical method of the ratchet.

Tradition as knowledge.

Narratives.

The media of the paint-drinkers.

A list of personal study.

Sacrificing to Cthulhu.

Summary of the fate of empires.
Related: Kipling’s the Mother Hive.
Related: The illegal alien crisis of ancient Rome.

IQ shredders, theory of mind, and IR.

On barbarism.

Power throughout the ages.

Neoreactionaries and complexity science.

The slave state.

#DetroitWater: Liberal whites treating Detroit blacks like children.

Heartbreak and government.

Political economy has nothing to do with revenues; it’s all a public ritual.

Atlantis vs. Hyperborea.

The myopia of IQ fetishism.

The deliberate obesity pandemic.
Related: The bad science of food.

Neoreactionary as a smear.

What if democracy is a fraud?

Practices contrary to given law are unjust.
Related: The road to hell is paved with the skulls of bishops.

Patriarchy lite.

The logic of illogic.

Bryce ponders his own mortality.

Man using broken marriage to prove themselves better.

A few results from OKCupid experiments.

Why so many women read 50 Shades.

Women aren’t blameless products of marketing.
Related: Porn: Missing the forest for the terrariums.

Why are “smart” women always so stupid?

We need to shame the sexism in nature.

Radical feminists and transsexuals’ status wars.

Science: Women participating in the labour force is linked to large government.

Seems there’s some more trouble with D&P, Roosh, and Tucker Max.

An amusing exchange between Vox and Dave Futrelle.

Why is IQ related to health?

Numeracy and mathematical literacy.

The war on poverty in 4 charts.

You feel poorer because you are poorer.
Related: 1/3 adults have debt in collections.

Is the down Malaysian plane a set-up for war?

Atheists get IRS to monitor sermon content.

The Stasi more civilized than SWAT.

The courts rule a law means what it says; Obama ignores the court.

Goodbye America in photos.

The psychology of political polarization.

France: proposition nation.

Why Jews succeed.

Ivy League fakers.

Online public discussion and the gatekeepers.

Why comic books are almost dead.

The official alphabetical list of author success.

H/T: Land, Isegoria, RPR

The Gods of the Copybook Headings

I’ve been sick, too sick to do anything much more than lie on the couch and watch Rome (good show by the way). I have not completed the post on our decline is not complete so here’s something else. Neoreactionaries have taken to talking of Gnon, but the concept is not new; Kipling’s Gods of the Copybook Headings was the same concept described a century ago. Reality, by whatever appellation we may provide, can only be ignored for so long. The longer it is ignored, the more vicious its return. 

AS I PASS through my incarnations in every age and race,
I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “Stick to the Devil you know.”

On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “The Wages of Sin is Death.”

In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “If you don’t work you die.”

Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

Here’s a bit of background on the poem and its meaning.

 

We’ve Lost

How can the left defeat the reactionaries? — They’ve already defeated us. http://t.co/WjbAgwC87h

— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) July 20, 2014

Reactionaries have been defeated, we have lost. Neoreaction was defeated before it began.

This is reality.

The left has either captured, killed, or subverted every major institution in the West: the family, the church, the government, the courts, the media, the education system.

The system is dying, we have lost.

In fact, having lost is almost definitional to the term reactionary. If we were winning, we would be called conservatives or centrists. A reactionary is one wanting a return to a previous order, meaning the previous the old order no longer exists. This implies that at some point in the past the reactionaries (and conservatives) were defeated.

I used the term ‘winning’ purposefully. Reactionaries and a conservatives can never win, entropy is eternal and unstoppable. Chaos is always pounding at the gates and there is never any rest nor relief for the watchmen. The barbarians are always encircling the fortress and only leave once the looting and raping is over.

There was far too much pushback on Twitter on this. Some reactionaries don’t seem to get this basic point. This is foundational reaction. Cthulu swims left. To be a reactionary is to suffer defeat after neverending defeat. As long as you are a reactionary, you are defeated.

Our goal then is to advance to the point where we can become conservatives. That is the end point of reaction, to have a society worth conserving. Once we start winning we stop being reactionaries and we become conservatives.

The goal of reaction is ideological self-annihilation.

****

The reason conservatism is wrong is not because there is anything inherently wrong with conservatism, it is because modern conservatives have not yet realized there is nothing left to conserve. They have not yet realized that they have lost. It is over, it is done.

In fact, the conservatives have been so roundly defeated that the best of them are conserving liberalism thinking it to be conservatism.(The worst of them no longer even try to conserve liberalism).

This is the difference between the modern conservative and the reactionary:

The reactionary suffers in endless defeat, the conservative has not only been defeated, but has been so entirely and thoroughly pwned that he does not even understand he has been defeated, so he barely suffers.

My next post will outline how thouroughly we’ve lost, but to tide you over I recommend Derbyshire’s We Are Doomed.

If you are optimistic, if you think there is some hope of a “win”, if you believe it can be turned around, you are wrong and you do not yet understand reaction.

There is only the endless cycle of struggle against chaos, loss to chaos, and rebuilding during chaos so we can continue the struggle. Death and the final winnowing are the only relief from the cycle.

Reaction should not make you happy or hopeful, the only thing it can do is is help your children survive to create more children to survive to create more children.

It’s called the dark enlightenment for a reason.

Lightning Round – 2013/07/23

The 60-second guide to a BS free life.

Study: Self-control more likely to lead to happiness than self-indulgence.

How to improve reading comprehension and retention.

Remember to keep your internet use in check.

How to create your own online book store.
Related: How to publish a book for real.
Related: Making money on Fiverr.

Victor recommends Kratom.

The secret to the most mind-blowing sex ever.

Moose Norseman doesn’t go on dates.
Related: Isolating dating from character.

Peace and silence.
Related: The need for noise.

Christian feminism and real beauty.

On chemical castration and teaching young men about sex and marriage.

Madonna’s, whores, and free-riders.
Related: Science: “if there were no returns to career choices in the marriage market, men would tend to work less, study less, and choose blue‐collar jobs over white‐collar jobs.”
Related: A paper on marriage and male incentives.
Related: Young men giving up on marriage.
Related: Belief in marriage is dying.
Related: Study: Pre-marital sex increases odds of divorce.
Related: Half of married women’s ‘best sex’ was not with their husband and 2/3 married women would rather read or nap than have sex.

Far-right activist judo.
Related: Agree, amplify, and accelerate.
Related: Accelerate the ratchet.
Related: Agree and amplify science.
Related: Poe’s law and Salon.
Related: Using electronic trivia.

IQ shredders.
Related: Domestic IQ shredders.
Related: The cure for IQ shredders.
Related: Cities as verbal IQ shredders.

“The whole of human history does not contain a single instance of a group becoming civilized unless it has been absolutely monogamous, nor is there any example of a group retaining its culture after it has adopted less rigorous customs.”

Barbarism and decadence.
Related: Cycles and history.
Related: Empires collapse after 10 generations, but differently.
Related: The world is going to become hard; we are not hard.
Related: Social security to be bankrupt by 2030.

Gnonologia.
Related: The faces of Gnon.

Decadence is the disintegration of a system, not individuals.
Related: 7 reasons American culture is the most degenerate in the world.

On capitalism.

My parents were criminals.
Related: The nationalization of childhood.

Clickbait country.
Related: Why Bryce doesn’t read the news.
Related: The stupidity of Rolling Stone and Kristen Gwynne.

Rome and immigration.

Reaction and the poor.

Anti-NRx FAQ: Suicide and crime.

Another idiot hit piece on NRx (and TRP) written by someone ignorant of them.
Related: The Grey Enlightenment.

Holiness, Gaza, and suicide.
Related: On the Israel conflict.
Related: Did Jews start the riots in France?

Conspiracies don’t need a man behind the curtain.

The tech industry and immigration.

On VR and the Oculus Rift.

Zizek and the politics of plagiarism.

The BRIC bank and the dollar decline.

Scott comments on the technological decline.

Racism as a perpetual motion machine.

Thede blindness.

On vote-buying.

The 11 tenets of progressivism.

His grandmother had no tattoos.

Husband keeps a spreadsheet of his hateful wife denying him sex.
Related: Hateful women defend woman.
Related: Mortification game.
Related: Radio silence.

Science: A woman’s looks matter more than a man’s.

The false life plan.
Related: The feminist goal is an unhappy woman.
Related: Women’s mating optimism in youth.
Related: The unhappiest workers of all.
Related: New birth control ads show moderns’ screwed-up priorities.

Rape, diversity, and communication.

Sex disparities in criminal prosecutions and convictions.

I’m sure she’ll make a fine Christian wife.

Homosexuals and public health.

Man gets arrested for sex crime due to scheduling error.

A review of How to Deal with Narcissists.
Related: Seems such a thing as a selfie stick exists.

The facets of false rhetoric.

End aboriginal welfare: stop the genocide.

The Flynn effect and aging.

The use of child robots to treat pedophiles.

Slate notices Roko’s Basilisk.

Vox’s ideas go mainstream.

The fall of SF.
Related: Winning the war in SF.

Thor to be made a woman.

The evils of Thomas the Train.

SoBL supports Frozen.


Balance – Wolfgang Christoph Lauenstein – 1989 by SezerAymaz

H/T: Atavisionary, Nydwracu, Dalrock, Isegoria, RPR, SDA

Patriarchy = Civilization

I’ve implied this before, but now I will make it explicit:

Patriarchy is civilization. Civilization is patriarchy.

The two concepts are indistinguishable, differing only in emphasis.

Any time someone says patriarchy, they are, whether consciously or not, referring to civilization.

****

Civilization is built when men produce more than they need to satiate their desires; civilization is the surplus value males create for the future, particularly their children.

Men will only produce surplus value if it will increase their returns in the marriage market (h/t:RPR). It is not that marriage itself is of value to men, rather marriage provides a means by which man can ensure paternity of his children. With the paternity of his children assured, man can invest invest in his children. Assured paternity binds father to children.

This binding of father to son and daughter is civilization, it may even be humanity itself.*

Patriarchy is a word encompassing all the mechanisms society has created so that man can be assured of the paternity of his children and will bind himself to them. It includes monogamy, pre-marital chastity, prohibitions on adultery, slut-shaming, the criminalization of prostitution, cad-shaming, father as the household head, proscriptions on divorce, patrilineality, and fatherhood itself.

These mechanisms are what create civilization.

****

From the wiki for JD Unwin who completed a marriage study on civilization and marriage in the 1930s.

Unwin’s conclusions, which are based upon an enormous wealth of carefully sifted evidence, may be summed up as follows. All human societies are in one or another of four cultural conditions: zoistic, manistic, deistic, rationalistic. Of these societies the zoistic displays the least amount of mental and social energy, the rationalistic the most. Investigation shows that the societies exhibiting the least amount of energy are those where pre-nuptial continence is not imposed and where the opportunities for sexual indulgence after marriage are greatest. The cultural condition of a society rises in exact proportion as it imposes pre-nuptial and post-nuptial restraints upon sexual opportunity.

The whole of human history does not contain a single instance of a group becoming civilized unless it has been absolutely monogamous, nor is there any example of a group retaining its culture after it has adopted less rigorous customs.

Decadence leads to barbarism.

****

The problem is free-riding. For both men and women, it is in an individual’s self-interest to get around the mechanisms of patriarchy. A man can have more darwinian success if he impregnates a woman and another man raises the child or if he impregnates many women. A woman can have more darwinian success if she has is impregnated by a fitter man than she can marry then has an attainable man raise the child. When free-riding becomes too common, the assurance of patriarchy weakens, then disappears.

What we experienced in the 20th century was the triumph of the free riders over civilization. The culture that was indispensable for suppressing the free riders was hijacked and turned on its head. Not only does culture now fail in its primary pro-civilizational mission, it actively discourages women from cooperation and makes it as easy as possible for them cheat their responsibilities… The cost of this failure is civilization itself and there can be no greater price to pay than Eden.

The bond between father and child is destroyed. Men lose their will to create a surplus and build for the future.

Civilization dies.

****

Patriarchy is civilization.

Anybody opposing patriarchy is opposing civilization. The destruction of patriarchy is the destruction of civilization.

Whatever feminists and liberals may think of patriarchy, the violence and rapine of barbarism is far worse.

****
* The binding of father to children has many benefits on an individual level as well.

The Rationalization of Effort

I got some pushback in the comments on my last post. FBNF thought that 100 times a year was a lot more than her experience. I responded that this was probably due to environment: I probably should have said she the 100 dates was probably average for her environment and lifestyle, but the general pattern would still hold.

I haven’t been able to find studies on how often women are asked out. I remember reading a number of threads on the issue, where women were asked how often they were asked out: answers for most were once a week to once a month. I can’t figure out where those threads were. So I did another search.

A quick google of various internet threads says it depends a lot on how one defines “asked out”; “real” asks are uncommon, a dozen or two a lifetime, but “random” ones are fairly common. This thread ranges from uncommonly to multiple times a day.

I turned to a quick search on /r/AskWomen. The answers across threads there were comparatively low to elsewhere. Never was common, a 6-12 in a lifetime was the plurality, a few times a year also common, while once a week or more was rarer. I think one guy from one of the threads had the right of it:

  • I’m seeing a lot of people distinguishing between a request to hang out that turns romantic and a request for a formal date, which is probably not a distinction the asker was making.
  • Redditors in general tend to identify themselves as introverted and/or shy, and shy people don’t get asked out nearly as often as outgoing people do.

Also, not to be an ass, but on the whole Redditors are probably far less social and far less attractive than average people and would be less likely to be asked out.

Here’s a thread where the bizarre top answer is “Have had 5 or 6 boyfriends in my life, but never actually been asked out on a date.”

It seems that it is common for women to only include explicit requests for a date. Being hit on doesn’t count, being asked for a number doesn’t count, being asked to ‘hang-out’ with romantic intentions doesn’t count, etc. Someone even being a relationship isn’t counted as being asked out. This is bizarre to me. As a man, I would (and did) count some lady on the street asking me to hang out as being asked out.

Anyway, it seems once a week to once every month or two would be “average” if you included hitting on and phone number asks, but a lot less, a few time a year or less, if it’s only for formal dates.

So, in my assessment we could say somewhere between 6-50 times a year would be normal for propositions of all types, but about a dozen “real” requests for formal dates a lifetime. This would of course vary a lot based on the women’s environment, attractiveness, and personality.

The bigger her social circle, the larger her city, the prettier she is (to a point), and the more outgoing a women is, the more she’ll get asked out.

****

Which brings me to the point of my post: the rationalization of effort.

Unless you are a very experienced player or naturally very social, asking women out is a frightening and draining experience for most men; it has a fairly high mental cost. In addition, being rejected after asking a girl out is both painful and humiliating. Because of this men will often do a quick analysis of their odds of success combined with the ease with which they can ask a woman out and their level of motivation to ask that particular girl out. (This often leads to over-thinking, which is a major problem I struggle with).

This can lead to some weird outcomes. As Heartiste recently noted (NSFW) men will often not hit on the hottest girls, because the odds of success seem so slim. The prize may be great, but if the odds of success seem too low a man will not even try. It works the other way as well, a man may go after someone he might not otherwise chase simply if he thinks the odds of success are high.

What this means is that a man will only ask a woman out if he thinks he has a chance and the situation allows for an easy way to ask a girl out compared to the potential odds of success and his attraction.

He also needs motivation: most men see women around them all the time in their daily lives, including many attractive ones, but they rarely approach them. They will go out of their way to approach a particular women if he has some particular motivation to.

For one example, years ago there was a girl at my church who my mom would occasionally bring up as someone I should pursue. She seemed nice, she was attractive enough, and there was a decent chance she could have hit the points on my list but I never did approach her. There was nothing that really made her stand out to me. If happenstance had brought us into conversation together perhaps something might have happened, but there was nothing motivating me enough so I would put in the effort and take the risk of approaching her. (In retrospect, I probably should have).

As a contrasting example, there was a woman I was friends with for a while, she was attractive and fun to hang out with, but it didn’t even really cross my mind to think of her as a prospect. Then one day she was holding a friend’s baby and cooing over it; that display of maternal instinct peaked my attention and I started to entertain the prospect. I ended up asking her out a month or so later. (A mothering instinct is something I find incredibly attractive.).

One major factor in a man’s thinking is environment. Small, casual social environments (like house parties or games nights) are far more conducive to approaching for most men than most other environments. Church always has some formality, cold approaches are the most difficult ones, work comes with extra baggage, large parties/clubs/bars are good for certain personalities (ie. players and extroverts), but not for most men, etc.

There’s more to the sexual marketplace than a person’s raw SMV/MMV and displays thereof, there’s motivation and risk. A woman may be attractive, but she also needs to demonstrate something to motivate a man to approach (a particularly high level of beauty may be enough) and make it so that the type of man she wants to approach will think there is an ‘easy’ in.

****

So, based on that here’s a few practical tips for women hoping to be approached more:

Be out in the world. Men can’t approach if they don’t see you.

Get in environments where approaching is easy. A casual, social environment is best.

Smile: A kind smile lowers the expected cost and raises the perceived odds of success, increasing the chances of being approached.

Signal availability: Look pretty, have an open demeanor, put yourself in a physical space where approaching is possible (ie. stand around other people, not on the other side of the room by yourself), walk casually instead of bee-lining: make it easy for a man to approach and it will be more likely.

Don’t signal unavailability: Don’t wear earphones, don’t wear a ring on your ring finger if you aren’t married, don’t stare at the ground, don’t walk around staring at your iPhone, etc., these will all discourage most men (players aside) from approaching. Most men don’t want to intrude on you when you are doing something. By doing this you are self-selecting for the kind of guy who interrupts busy people.

Signal something unique: Signal something that makes you stand out, particularly for the kind of man you are looking for. If you are looking for an physically active man, wear something that indicates you participate in a sport. If you are looking for a bookish man, carry a book. If you are looking for a traditional man, look traditional. If you are looking for a family man, coo over your friend’s baby. If you are looking for a player, show your cleavage. If a man sees you share something in common, something particular that interests hims, or that gives him an easy in to open, he will be more likely to approach you.

Do the opposite of all this if you want to be approached less.

****

For Christians in particular:

When out of a church setting, it can often be difficult for a Christian man to tell if a woman is Christian or not, and if she isn’t he likely won’t be motivated to hit on her; hitting on a non-Christian would be a waste of time and effort. By displaying something obviously Christian, a Christian woman can give him that much more of a reason to talk to her, increasing her odds of meeting someone.

For Christian women, if you want more Christian men to hit on you, bring along something with you when you go out that makes it obvious you are Christian. Carry your Bible or a CS Lewis book or something else obvious; wear a Jesus fish necklace or a Bible camp t-shirt. (This is probably what the WWJD bracelets used to be for).

I know this from experience; there have been at least two cute girls I’ve cold approached because I overheard they were Christian, where if I hadn’t overheard them I probably would not have.

****

For men, something similar probably applies. Make it easier for a woman to say yes when you approach. I don’t have a list of specific practical steps beyond what I’ve already thrown out in the Omega’s Guide (if you have one drop it below). Just keep in mind that if you reduce the cost/risk or increase the perceived benefits of saying yes, you’re more likely more likely to get a yes.

Don’t make it more difficult for her to say yes than you need to.

Lightning Round – 2014/07/16

Practice is 1/3, talent is 2/3.

How to make money online.
Related: How to get rich.
Related: How not to handle your finances.

3 charisma tips.

Don’t die like a mouse.

Telling a man his fiancé is cheating on him is the decent thing to do.

Women’s mating strategies and polygamy.
Related: The new sexual morality.
Related: Why women are no longer attracted to providers.
Related: Female education is dysgenic.

A little advice for protecting yourself from the knock-out game.

Related: Motte-busting.
Related: Why you need to respond to the left.

Capturing Gnon.

A Cathedral link compilation.

You are the counter-culture: Turn on, tune in, drop out.

We can’t save the system, but we can preserve pieces of civilization.

Civilization’s precipice.

The welfare state: a sign of civilizational decline.
Related: Rising civilizations are different; declining the same.
Related: Salon headlines.
Related: Women, pop music, and the Arab decline.
Related: American Pie: How much the culture has declined in only 15 years.
Related: Our narcissistic society in action.
Related: Frivolity accompanies pessimism.
Related: An influx of foreigners into the capital is a sign of decline.
Related: Peter and Jane at the art museum.

The decline in global IQ.

Explaining the decline in fertility.
Related: Fertility rates are dropping worldwide.

How leftism and homosexuality are destroying male friendship.

Jim and Anissimov on the economics of children.
Related: A response to criticism of the original article.

Judge argues in favour of incest using homosexuality as an example. The slippery slope is real.

Colonialism benefited the colonized.

On the ENR.
Related: Dialogues on evo-psych and Kevin MacDonald.

Libertarianism and consumerism.
Related: The capture of conservatism by libertarianism.

How communism was funded.

On social spaces.

The inverted samurai ethic of racial politics.

The only way to have diversity is through fascism.

‘Controversy’ generally means something progs hate.

Demography and dysgenics.

The paradox of ecclesiology.

On immigration and charity.
Related: Mexico makes deal to send more illegal to the US.

The importance of silence.

The end of the Anglican Church.

Younger evangelicals still hold to social conservatism.

More churchian male-shaming.

On Joan of Arc.

Feminism is a sin against children.

If you are irreligious man in the West, there is no reason to get married.

A message from a man in a dead bedroom.
Related: An evil slut defends hating her husband.

The ravages of time.
Related: Humour: A few more items off the list of desirable traits.
Related: The sad fate of Stacey Hacker-Hessler, professional crusader.

Even in film, you can never satisfy a feminist.

Man spends 9 years in jail after daughter falsely accuses him of rape. Daughter let off without punishment.
Related: Two teens exchange nudes. Male charged, female not; state wants to sexually assault male.
Related: NZ will presume those accused of rape guilty.

Sex difference in spacial reasoning greater in more egalitarian societies.

Is Jezebel racist or lookist?

Hiring and political correctness.

Some “men” are beyond hope.

The religious beliefs of the 10 smartest people.
Related: Godel’s proof for God proved true.

An estimate of the death toll of the Cold War.

Traditional sleep patterns.

Inflation being disguised by putting wood pulp in your burger.

Science: Chimp IQ is genetic.

On left-wing “refutations”.

Leftists still devour their own.

On Tiananmen Square.

Iraq has informed the UN that ISIS has taken control of thousands of chemical weapons.

Rolling Stone’s top 5 most dangerous guns. Are these people really this stupid?

Vox comments on literary propaganda in SF/F.

H/T: VD, RPR, SCC, Land, SDA, TH