Category Archives: Manosphere

Solipsism in Action

Slate (always a good place for blog material) had an article on a comment from Quora asking: Why Are Women So Negative About the “Pickup Artist” Community?

Quora has numerous other responses which, along with the comments on this particular answer at both Slate and Quora, vary between pro- and anti-game and which will mostly be familiar to those with experience in the Manosphere. I’m mostly only going to comment on this one because Slate published it, it’s the most upvoted on Quora, and it’s amazing how hard the hamster is running.

I read The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists (which I still think is a really interesting book) and ended up meeting a lot of people who were in the pick-up artist community (not a goal—it just happened).

I even ended up helping out with one of their weekend seminars, to be a “female test dummy,” essentially. Far from the stereotype of sleazy guys who want one-night stands, 24 of the 25 guys in the class were just awkward, nerdy guys who just wanted a girlfriend (the 25th wanted to bring home a girl for a threesome with his girlfriend). But that’s not the instruction of these classes. The classes are about getting laid, not getting a girlfriend.

This was my first big hint that something was wrong. There was a mismatch. They were taking guys who wanted girlfriends and teaching them how to pick up girls in bars.

She’s correct that’s exactly what game generally does (Dalrock, Athol, et al. being the minority), but in her self-absorption, she doesn’t even question why there’s a mismatch.

The reason there is a mismatch is simple: there is nothing else.

If you are an awkward, nerdy male, the only people willing and able to teach you practical advice for attracting women are the PUAs. I’ve checked. There is simply no one outside the manosphere teaching men how to meet a pleasant, moderately pretty girl for a stable long-term relationship.

I’ve read a number of Christian books and articles on dating, but they all assume a woman is attracted to you. They are either discussions of what kind of dating is appropriate and exhortations against sin or man up articles on how to avoid sex in relationships, how to avoid leading women on, and how to be firm in your intentions. There is almost no practical advice on how to actually attract a girl in first place so that the other advice has any relevance.

(For any Christian manospherians reading this, here’s a great book idea: write a guide to help awkward Christian guys attract a Christian wife. Market it in the Christian culture industry and you’d make a killing. I’d write it, but I’m not qualified at this point.)

Going outside the Christian stuff, everywhere else you look the socially awkward male is given the same advice: be yourself and be a nice guy, she’ll come… eventually.

Guess what?

We already do that: it doesn’t work. If it did work, we wouldn’t be looking for advice.

For women (and church leaders and others who may care): if you do not want awkward guys going to PUA’s for advice on attracting women, offer a viable alternative.

The only reason I started taking guys like Roissy or Roosh even remotely seriously was because they were the first people I found anywhere who gave enough of a shit to give some practical, useful advice. I haven’t adopted either game or playerhood, but I have tried some of their more morally neutral advice and it has been useful. (I’m now more influenced by the Athol/Dalrock approach).

How royally screwed up is it that self-proclaimed assholes like Roissy and Mentu are the only ones honest and selfless enough to give practical advice to the awkward guy looking for companionship (even if they mock us while they do it)?

The second thing she misses is this: yes, we want a relationship, but, failing that, getting laid is a nice second place (religious convictions aside) for most men.

If you don’t want awkward men to settle for the second prize, make it possible for them to attain the first.

How many relationships do you know of that started in bars? Do you know any? If you want a girlfriend, go sign up for an online dating site. Start dating! Statistically speaking, bars don’t work.

Solopsism starts here at its finest and continues throughout. (We’ll ignore the fact that a lot of relationships nowadays start in bars). Dating sites may be good advice for women, but, statistically speaking, online dating sites are a horrible option for men, particularly for socially awkward men.

Online dating work for most females (the lower quintile is in much the same position as most men); they can revel in the attention of dozens of men for little cost and choose their pick with minimal effort, but for your average male, online dating is a vicious, slogging grind of inanity, rejection, and flaking with with minimal chance of success.

The problem here is that touching can be flirty, but it can also be really creepy when the touching isn’t natural. And when you’re telling an awkward, nerdy guy who has no idea how to flirt “OK, now, touch a girl here,” it’s almost always creepy. (Personally, I don’t like random guys at bars touching me. It makes me really uncomfortable.)

In other words, women like being touched by guys they are attracted to, but keep those awkward nerds away from them.

And she laments awkward nerds trying to learn how to attract women.

And then you’re telling the guy to criticize the girl, which is just plain mean.

That criticism would probably be more effective if the neg didn’t work. It’s simple really:

If women don’t want men to use negs and “be mean”, they shouldn’t respond positively to it.

And then, when the girl isn’t interested, the guy is now being told, “Oh, she’s just trying to play games with you.” He doesn’t back off. Eww.

Guess what? The awkward nerd has no idea how to tell if the girl is interested or not. That’s why he’s at one of these workshops in the first place. To learn to gauge interest so that he doesn’t get the “eww” response.

And all of this is ridiculous because sometimes, the girl is out of your league or at least just isn’t interested. I’m 5-foot-9, and I’m just not going to go home with a guy who is 5-foot-3, goes by the nickname “Snake” (seriously?!?), or is overweight, pimply, or won’t just answer a direct question about what he does for a living.

Remember to know your place you creepy nerd. Don’t you dare try to improve yourself or better your chances with women.

With this kind of harsh judgmentalism from women (especially a woman pretending she cares about guys), is it really a surprise the awkward go to PUAs for advice?

Also, there’s some internal contradiction here. If the women is already rejecting the guy because she thinks she’s out of his league, what could he possibly lose for being “creepy”? She’ll reject him either way; at least if he hits on her there’s a small chance of success.

Once upon a time, this guy might have been a perfectly normal but nerdy guy, who could have dated online, met someone nice, got married, and been perfectly happy.

Once upon a time this guy could have waited until his mid-30’s to meet a hard-used, bitter women trying for her hail mary attempt at a  baby and who will later divorce him. Now he’s being twisted so much he may no longer be available as a post-wall, last-ditch relationship.

PUA instruction turns awkward, nerdy guys who just want a girlfriend into creepy guys who harass and insult women. And that’s not OK!

How dare they steal away my beta-orbiters and my fall-back plan for when I leave the carousel.

PUA instruction teaches guys these mechanical ways of interacting with women that don’t really work and fails to recognize that every woman is different. Some women just won’t go home with you. Sorry. Maybe she’s out of your league. Or maybe she’s just not interested in you. Or maybe she just doesn’t go home with random dudes from bars.

If it didn’t work, it wouldn’t be near as popular as it is.

The things is, game works for enough men with enough women that men will continue to use it. The specifics don’t matter; the general trends of it working for many men on many women is all that is necessary for game to continue.

The words coming out of a woman’s mouth? It’s not all a game.You can have actual conversations with us.

If the awkward male could have an actual conversation with women leading to a relationship, he wouldn’t be looking for advice from PUA’s.

But he can’t, so he does.

When I say “What do you do for a living?” it’s because I actually care. Because I’m looking for someone to build a relationship with, and someone with no career goals is not a good match for me. Answer the question.

Hurry up and let me judge you so I can get back to those alpha males.

Conversation is not all a giant game.

For the awkward, nerdy male it is. It has to be.

He doesn’t naturally know how to have a conversation, that’s the entire reason we call him awkward.

For him to learn how to have a conversation, he has to treat it like a game with rules, because it’s the only way he will understand it and have a conversation.

When I’m not interested, it’s because I’m not interested. Not because I’m putting some sort of girl test in front of you.

And yet, you, like most women, will judge him on his awkwardness anyway.

So that’s why I’m against it. Because, beyond just giving men the courage to approach women, the instruction is harmful to the guys.

Yes, that’s why you are opposed to it.

Are adult males not capable of deciding whether it is harmful to them on their own?

Some of my friends who were involved in the community got out of it OK, but they were probably more normally adjusted to start with. Another friend, well, he got his taste of one night stands and “can’t understand the point of girlfriend.” And other guys I’ve met are so uncomfortable to be around that, well, we never really became friends.

Translation:

Some of her beta orbiters have remained beta orbiters. Other beta orbiters have succeeded with game and are enjoying their success enough that they no longer pine after fantasies. And other beta orbiters are no longer willing to be beta orbiters.

As I said, the hamster was strong with this one. She has absolutely no sympathy for or understanding of the plight of your average socially awkward male. This is why those opposed to game are going to continue to lose men to game; they refuse to consider why awkward young men are turning to game in the first.

If you don’t like awkward young men turning to game: offer a viable alternative.

Socially awkward males will take it if available. All you have to do is understand their frustrations and give them something that helps them ease them.

****

The best response I saw (from Quora):

I’m just as disappointed in women for having low standards. When I can be a nerd and talk about something intelligent and be nice without socially neutering myself because I choose not to talk loud and put other people down and be polite, then the world won’t need pickup bootcamps.

That’s exactly it. If your average beta male could find a half-decent girl to settle down with in his early twenties, there would be no demand for game. There would be PUA’s (probably under a different name), as there have always been and always will be guys who want nothing more than some casual sex, but there would be no demand for game.

You look at a lot of guy on the manosphere, such as Mentu, had met a decent girl to marry while young, they would never have learned game and would never have needed to.

****

Another interesting answer at Quora was this.

He describes game as cheating.That’s an interesting way to think of it.

If you think of the sexual marketplace as a game, then game is simply violating the traditional rules to win. Nothing overly profound, but an interesting way to look at it.

A Good Wife and a Full Quiver

Mentu has an interesting post on his contemplations of his family life as he is in the waiting room for a vasectomy. I’d suggest giving it a read, as it’s an interesting look into a man choosing to make his hedonistic lifestyle permanent, but regretting the things that might have been.

I wish Mentu luck, and hope he does not come to truly regret and doubt his decision in the future, but that is not what I wish to write about. Instead, I’m going remark on something he wrote in the post:

I thought about the Manosphere. In my opinion, pro-marriage and Christian bloggers in these parts talk far too much about how to find a good wife, and not nearly enough about how to find a good mother. After a long and exhaustive search, I have finally given up. I actually gave up about three years ago, to be perfectly honest. Women who might make decent wives pop up every now and then, but women in the 21 to 31 year old age range who would make good mothers have gone the way of the Dodo Bird. It’s not as if they’ve rejected the idea; they’re not even aware that the concept exists.

He’s right, the Christian manosphere does seem talk more about finding a good wife than finding a good mother, but I don’t think it’s a deficiency of our discussion, rather Mentu is making a definitional mistake in separating the two. For myself, and I’m sure for most present and future patriarchs, the distinction between a good wife and a good mother is non-existant.

A good wife is necessarily a good mother.

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The purpose of marriage to the Christian is twofold:

  1. To sate “passion” so as to avoid sin (as per 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, 36).
  2. For man to have a helper is his mission, which is in itself twofold: to be fruitful and multiply and to have dominion over the earth (as per Genesis 1:26-28, 2:18-24).

Some Christians may marry only for the purpose, they need passion and sex and marriage is the only allowed sexual outlet. This is not sinful, but neither is it complete.

A Christian who marries solely for passion, or as we would say today, love, is missing out on a fundamental part of a godly marriage, which is having many children.  His marriage is incomplete.

The Bible repeatedly and consistently talks of the blessing of a large family of many children. It is one of the greatest gifts a man can have and, in the Bible, to bless someone with many children is one of the highest blessings possible.

  • And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:28)
  • And God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.” (Genesis 9:1)
  • I will surely bless you, and I will surely multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of his enemies, 18 and in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice. (Genesis 22:17-18)
  • And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, “Our sister, may you become thousands of ten thousands, and may your offspring possess the gate of those who hate him!” (Genesis 24:60)
  • Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in his commandments! His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. (Psalm 112:1-3)
  • Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! (Psalm 127:3-5)
  • Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. (Psalm 128:1-4)
  • Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers. (Proverbs 17:6)

Anybody who does not have a full quiver is robbing themselves of a great blessing.

Patriarchal Christians realize the benefit of this blessing. For the complete picture of marriage, the purposes are intertwined: you marry to sate passion, have support, and have children. Any good wife will fill all three of these functions.

There is no difference between a good wife and a good mother, a good wife is necessarily a good mother. If a woman is not a good mother, she can not, by definition, be a good wife.

So, when a patriarch-to-be declares what he wants in a wife and talks of searching for a wife, it can be implicitly assumed that he is also looking for a mother with those traits. I know I am.

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Having said that, what are some things to look for in the future mother of your children?

As far as I can recall, the Bible itself does not speak much on what makes a good mother apart from being a good wife.

For the most part, what would make a good wife, would also make a good mother:

  • Someone family oriented.
  • She wants to marry and have children young.
  • She’s loving, patient, understanding, and nurturing.
  • She’s reliable.
  • She’s not lazy.
  • Strongly opposed to divorce.
  • A virgin, or at least very low count.
  • Strongly religious.
  • She’s biblically submissive.
  • She has a good group of friends who display positive traits.
  • She’s not a feminist.

Some other indicators I’d look for that apply primarily to someone looking for a wife and mother, rather than just a wife:

  • She truly desires children from from her teens/early twenties, rather than wanting children later in life simply because the biological clock is ticking.
  • She does not want a career, but would make motherhood a priority. (A career and a job are distinct categories: working part-time or a home business is fine).
  • Her friends are also fruitful and family-oriented, and either have or want children.
  • She has the traits you desire in children.
  • She’s involved in child-oriented activities in church (works in the nursery, Sunday school, or children’s programs).
  • She lights up around other women’s children and coos over babies.
  • She’s good with other people’s children.
  • She’s babysat in the past and was good at it.
  • She has traits you want your children to have.
  • She’s not easily disgusted (especially by children’s excretions).
  • She has the physical indicators of fertility. (This one’s easy, is she physically attractive?)

Those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head, there’s probably more.

****

I’ll end by saying this:

If you are planning to have children, make sure your potential wife would also make a good mother.

On this blog, when I talk about a good wife, a good mother is implicit. For those of you who don’t make that connection implicitly, make sure that your potential wife would also be a good potential mother.

What is to be done?

Aurini writes:

I am a Patriot.  During my life I hope to actually see the True North Strong and Free – not just sing it in the National Anthem.  To find a wife and raise a family, with hope for a future.  Gaming girls in foreign countries is better than marital theft, certainly – and it’s probably a fair bit better than Heroin – but it doesn’t leave much of a Legacy.

Running away will protect us for a time, but the Enemies of Life are implacable; this is a global ideology more infectious than proselytizing Christianity could ever hope to be.  It’ll reach Eastern Europe and Southeast Asia sooner than you think – only by the time it gets there it won’t be called Feminism any more.  Like the common cold, this virus mutates fast.

The MRM fell because it was premised upon weakness.  Any true hope for the future will have to be premised upon Strength.

I agree fully.

But that leaves the questions of what is to be done. How can we destroy the system that is destroying us?

How can we avoid the Bonobo Masturbation Society?

****

The options we have:

1) The Blue Pill: Play along with the system.

2) MRM: Fight the current legal system for equal rights from within the system.

3) Game/MGTOW: These options are essentially the same: retreat. You withdraw from the system.

4) Patriarchy: This is outwardly similar to the blue pill, with all the attendant risks, but is done intentionally with red pill frame and knowledge,  rather than leaped into blindly.

5) Violence: Overthrow the current system with violent revolution.

****

The blue pill may work. For you, for now. But you could always wind up on the wrong end of the divorce or economic statistics with one bad week, and it leaves the system intact. This is no fight at all.

MRM may make the legal system more fair, but that’s all it will do. It will make divorce sting less, it will remove affirmative action to allow fair employment competitions, and it may do some other good things, but it is still based on progressive ideas of equality, fairness, human rights, social justice, and all that jazz and is still corrupt. In the long run it merely preserves the corrupt system, but blunts its edges, reducing consciousness, fixing the system further in place.

Game/MGTOW may work. For you, for now. But it is retreat; it is conceding that the system wins and hoping that if you either avoid or succeed at playing by the new rules of the system it might not eat you. You might avoid family court, unemployment, or unhappy marriage,  but you are still a Bonobo happily masturbating away, enjoying yourself to avoid thinking if there isn’t something more fulfilling out there.

Violence won’t work. Right now the system is not corrupt enough to get enough people fired up for violence. In addition, the anti-progressive movement is small and is like herding bulls. There would be no way to win. Starting violence would turn the decline into a collapse and most revolutions end up eating their own children. Small scale violence accomplishes nothing except making the violent person’s ideology look bad. Violence should be avoided.

That leave patriarchy as the only hope.

****

So how does patriarchy help us win?

We must realize that any fight against the current progressivist system will take time, possibly generations. The war against progressivism is a war of ideology and ideas; changing the dominant paradigm is (usually) a slow process. It took progressivism and feminism over a century to bring our country to this point. It will take just as long to bring it back.

So, that leaves us with two things we must do: push our ideas and develop our ideology and breed the next generation.

First, we need to develop our ideas and put them out there; we must push the overton window. We have to put red pill knowledge out there, make it acceptable, and bring people to the cause. This is already being done; you can occasionally see red pill knowledge creep into the MSM. The manosphere is great for this.

More importantly to pushing our ideas, we have to live lives that are enviable. Ideas are great, but unless people see what’s in it for them, ideas alone will not suffice. We have to demonstrate what we are arguing for.

Live a red pill life that others are envious off and want to emulate. Praxis.

Second, breeding. The future of our society is determined by the next generation, so we need to create the next generation. On one hand, we have an advantage because progressivists are breeding themselves out of existence. On the other hand, if we all go MTGOW or PUA, then we aren’t breeding either.

So, marry a good women, have lots of kids, and raise them traditionally. Your life will be better, your life will be full and meaningful, and you’ll have a legacy you can be proud of.

Make sure to avoid a few pitfalls. Refuse to marry those who aren’t worthy of bearing your children (no rings for sluts). Be wary of the public school system; make sure to raise your kids right. Live as an example you want your kids to emulate.

Creating the next generation and developing our ideas is how an ideological war is won. So, do it.

****

That’s not to say game and MGTOW don’t help some. Both spread red pill ideas. In addition, PUA’s make promiscuity rougher and less fair, thus making promiscuity, already unattractive, less attractive for females. Both reduce the amount of marriageable men who will “man up”, leaving women asking “where did all the men go”, showing the corruption of the “sacred path for marriage”.

While they’re still acting the part of bonobos, they do have some positive impact in the ideological war.

Game is a Stop-gap

Manosphere commenter Cane Caldo has a guest post at Dalrock responding to Dalrock’s piece, “Why Christian’s Need Game”.

Cane essentially argues that Christians don’t need game, but it seems he does not deny the effectiveness of game , rather from the comments it seems he thinks the PUA-attitude is an intrinsic part of game that Christians should reject. The disagreements in the thread seem to revolve mostly around the definition of the red pill and game, and whether game can be separated from the PUA-lifestyle or if playerdom is intrinsic to game .

I’m not going to get into that debate, instead, I’m going to look at what he said in the comments that I think is much more important.

Game is–as you say, and I agree–navigating the Feminist Matrix. Christianity means to burn it down.

No matter where you sit on the issue of game or it’s definition, game is playing in a feminist world; it still abides by the rules of feminism. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with that; the current secular sexual market place and good portions of the Christian SMP are based around feminist rules and, as with any system, if you do not adapt to the rules of the system, you lose. You are stuck in the game, so try to “win”.

The problem exists where red-pill men treat game as the end. Whether the men settle for getting notches through game, getting a worthy wife for themselves, or go their own way, the problem is the same, they have settled for simply getting their own in the system. They may take a red pill in one area or two, but the big picture eludes them.

So, you can get notches through game, that’s great. So, you found a worthy wife, that’s awesome. For you, for now.

You are still trapped in the feminist-progressivist game. You may be “winning” the game, but you are still playing by its rules.

The end result of the manosphere should not be “winning the game”; the end goal is to destroy the game.

The feminist-progressivist game is corrupt. It is destroying the very fabric of the civilization we have spent centuries building.

We need to burn it to the ground and replace it with a better game.

Do not forget, game is fine, but it is only a stop-gap measure for temporary survival in a corrupt system; a system whose rules have infiltrated the church, families, business, government, and every area of our lives.

The purpose of the manosphere, of patriarchs, of the alt-right, of MRA’s, of PUA’s, of traditionalists, and of men in general should be to destroy the progressive-feminist system.

We need to burn it to the ground and salt the earth so we never suffer this corruption again.

Goodbye Ferd

Ferdinand is shutting In Mala Fide and In Bona Fide down later this week.

He will be missed. I’ve only been reading In Mala Fide for half a year or so and I didn’t always agree with him but his posts were always thought-provoking. His exit will be a great loss to the manosphere.

In addition, Ferd’s linkage posts were a great help in getting traffic to my blog started, so I want to thank him for that. I’m sure he helped out many others in our little neck of the blogosphere with those.

So, head over there and wish him luck in his new opportunity.

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Reading Ferd’s goodbye post, got me to thinking on the purpose of this blog and it’s future. It’s still new and there’s a lot to write, so there’s little chance of it disappearing any time soon, but I think the blog is unlikely to be a permanent part of my life.

I was an underworked cubicle drone with nothing to look forward to but high blood pressure and pawing at drunken co-eds on the weekend. I had escaped the hell of post-college underemployment, a familiar hell to white guys in their twenties, into a new hell of ennui and listlessness. I was miserable and cranky
….
My problem is that In Mala Fide no longer reflects who I am.

This sounds more or less like the reason I recently started this blog, but at some point this part of my life will be over, whether through acceptance of my lot, the success of self-directed changes in my life, or a change to my circumstances.

The specific purposes of this blog is for me to ascertain what kind of life I will pursue: whether it will be as a traditional Christian patriarch, an irresponsible alpha, a MGTOW beta, or just another beta going through the prescribed motions of life. I’ve given myself until I turn 30 to decide. That’s still a couple years away, but at that time, depending on what I choose, there’s a good chance this blog may end. Depending on what occurs in life, it may end before that.

I don’t plan on quitting blogging any time soon, but I’ve found that writing two or three big posts a week is eating too much of my limited free time. Between my full-time work, hobbies, and social life, I only have a couple free evenings a week, and if I spend every one of them writing 1000-2500 word posts I think I might burn out in only a few months. Now that I’ve established a base of content, future posts will likely either become smaller and/or less frequent.

*****

I’ve now spent 300+ words writing about and contemplating the future of my two month old blog in a post about saying goodbye. Ferd is right: “All bloggers are narcissists and attention whores, every single one.”

Check out his site while you still can.

The Bookshelf: 30 Days of Discipline

Tonight, I was going to read and review Ferdinand’s two essays: The Age of Onanism and How to Stop Masturbating, but Smashwords is not letting me download them and I don’t have a Kindle reader, so I’ll have to do that another time.

On the other hand, I discovered Bold & Determined today (h/t the Captain), and I mostly like what I’ve read. So, I downloaded Victor Pride’s essay/short book 30 Days of Discipline and it just so happens that tomorrow is going to be the start of a new month. So, in my quest for self-improvement, starting tomorrow, I’m going to give his recommended habits a try.

There are 12 habits he recommends (buy the essay if you want to know what they are, I’m not going to steal his income). Of them, I’m going to modify four habits:

  • For #1, I will make an exception for snacking when hanging out with friends.
  • For #2, I’m going to wake up at 6 am, rather than 5 am, which is acceptable under his plan.
  • For #5, I’m going to do 4-point presses rather than push-ups as it meshes better with my martial arts training.
  • For #6, I’m going to dress better (business casual, rather than jeans), but I’m not going full-tilt with a three piece suit, for two reasons: 1) That would look really out of place at my work. and 2) I only own two suits which I need to get refitted. I’m also dressing lazy on Saturday as well as Sunday.

Out of all of them, #4 is going to be the hardest and is what I’m most likely going to fail at. Which is why I wanted to read Ferdinand’s books. (I’ll discuss that issue more when I read and review his books, hopefully, Thursday).

For my specific goal, I am going to start work on a project I’ve been meaning to do. This is a large project requiring learning skills I don’t have, so there’s no way I’m going to be able to finish it in a month, but I want to at least get started on it. I will write more on this project and others at a later time, probably in the next week.

I might do the occasional update on here to keep me honest and after the 30 days, I’ll do an after action report (here’s hoping I don’t wash out).

Now a review of his essay:

It’s short (25 pages), to the point, and written in a clear, straightforward style similar to how Victor writes on his blog. The essay is a list of 12 habits you have to follow for 30 days, followed by a couple pages of clarification of the purpose of the habit and support for why you should adopt the habit.

Some of the habits seem like they’re going to be hard (aw… poor baby) and others are not as physically demanding, but are the kinds of things that would be easy to forget about in the moment. It’s not an easy plan to follow, but if it was, it would be 30 Days of Leisure, not 30 Days of Discipline, so at least the book follows through on the title. I’m pretty sure that anyone who could master these habits would be a better person for them.

So, if you’re interested in improving yourself and looking for a challenge, check the essay out; it’s not that expensive. That being said, I’m not actually starting on this until tomorrow, so I can’t say it will improve you yet.

I’ll put out a second part to the review when I have my AAR.

The Bookshelf: Worthless and Freedom 25

Today, I am going to review two books from the manosphere: Worthless by Aaron Cleary and Freedom Twenty-Five by Frost. I read these books a month or two ago, so the reviews will be fairly short and based on what I remember, but these were the first manosphere book I read and I figure I should give some props to them for their influence, as both the Captain (though more his blog than the actual book, as I graduated a few years ago) and Frost really made me reconsider aspects of my life.

Worthless is more or less a guide to choosing a university degree. It’s a fairly short book, but it goes through a lot of the considerations someone entering university should think about. It outlines which degrees are worthwhile; ie. the STEM fields (or at least most of them) and which you should avoid ie. the liberal arts. The book pulls know punches and presents the harsh reality of the current post-secondary education system. It’s an enjoyably written screed that presents the necessary information without having so much data it overwhelms the narrative.

The one criticism is that a lot  fair amount of the data was Minnesota specific. I don’t think national data would have changed the book much, but would have been somewhat more convincing.

If you are thinking about university buy this book; if you have a loved one thinking about university, buy them this book. If neither applies to you, check it out if the subject matter interests you; it’s still a good read, but not essential.

Freedom Twenty-Five is essentially a short guide to red-pill living. If you’ve been around the manosphere for a while, you probably already know most of what is in the book. On the other hand, I’ve never seen anything else that collects and distills red pill thought in such a convenient matter. The information in there, while mostly basic red pill knowledge, covers information that would otherwise require reading hundreds of posts on dozens on blogs to acquire. The book reads well. The only complaint is that he has some braggadocio that can at is at times be tiring.  The book spoke to me because as I’ve mentioned I found a fair number of similarities between his life and mine prior to when he started his blog and quit his job. It prompted me to try the primal diet (I had known and read of it beforehand, but never tried to apply it). It was also a driver in me starting this blog to explore things for myself.

I heartily recommend the book, especially for those who are just starting to learn of the red pill. Even if you’re familiar with the manosphere, it’s a handy summary of knowledge.

The Bookshelf: 30 Bangs

I got my copies of Roosh’s books last week, and I read through 30 Bangs first, simply because it’s episodic nature and short length lent itself to being read through downtime during my rather busy weekend.

The book is simply a description of 30 different times Roosh had sex and the events and his actions leading up to the act. It is written in a very matter-of-fact, almost clinical, manner.

If you are looking to start learning game, this is not really the book. Game is present and you will probably learn something about it, particularly the game attitude, but this is no manual and the actual game techniques are sometimes glossed over in his stories. There is a small lesson at the end for the basic commonalities his success stories had.  If you are already learning game, his experiences might help you identify errors or find areas of improvement.

What I really like about this book is that it is a short, well-written, and interesting look into the life and experiences of a PUA, someone who has fully embraced the red pill. For those of us who (like me) have not tried game to any significant extent and to whom this kind of life is unfamiliar, it is a pair of binoculars allowing us to see through the windows into a player’s bedroom.

After reading this book though, I can say that I’m not very interested in the clubbing lifestyle. The descriptions of his nights out trolling for sex mostly seems joyless and mechanical. The book was obviously written analytically to deconstruct his experiences so they could be learned from, but I still expected some sense of enjoyment to leak through, but there was little. He could just as easily been writing about his experiences filling out TPS reports, for all the fun this book conveyed.

A couple times he mentions how a particular conversation or girl was fun or interesting, but usually it seems like he’s simply tolerating them and the bars for the hope of sex. For example, at one point he writes, “I was becoming skilled at tolerating stupid girls long enough to beat their pussies up in bed. Since she had a nice body with a tomato ass, I decided a little pain now would be worth a lot of pleasure later.” He writes similar things a number of other times.

While I’m sure having sex with lots of beautiful women is extremely pleasurable, the entire process seems unappealing. Reading Roissy and other game blogs, I got the impression that obtaining sex with game was a simple matter; a quick, fun conversation at the club with some gaming, then a trip to the women’s bedroom. Reading Roosh’s stories it seems to be a lot of trolling of clubs (and I personally dislike clubs/bars, as I don’t care for either crowds or noisiness, with the exception of metal concerts), engaging in conversations you don’t really care for with people you don’t care about (something else, I have a very low tolerance for), spending more time maintaining frame than enjoying yourself, then slowly weaseling your way into sex through manipulation and persistence.  I was struck by the amount of time/effort he seems to expend working his way from club to cab to apartment to bed to sex while slowly overcoming the resistance his partners put up; from my readings of game blogs, it had always seemed so much more breezy and quick.

Maybe I’m missing something, but it would seem to be a lot less effort just to pay for sex than to engage in all this for a few one night stands (I think I might have just had an idea for a future blog post) and the occasional short-term sexual relationship.

On the other hand, his day bang stories seemed less draining and effort consuming than his club game stories.

So, in sum, if you’re interested in knowing more about the life of a player, or for learning a bit more about game from real-life examples, I’d give this book a read. If you’re wanting to start learning game, try a different book first.

I found this book helpful, this helped me to know that I do not want the clubbing lifestyle. If I do ever end up fully swallowing the red pill, I will not be doing club or night game. It does not seem worth the effort to me. The temporary pleasures of sex, however fantastic, just do not seem to be worth the seeming grinding, joyless monotony of it. I’d either work on day game, pay for sex, or go without; any of those three would seem preferable.

One last note that’s probably totally unnecessary, but if you’re squeamish about sex or are a rabid feminist or whatnot, the book will offend you, but you could probably tell that from the title.

I still plan to read and give my impressions of Bang and Day Bang, but my reading list is filling fast, so I don’t know when I’ll get around to it. From this book, I’ve got a strong feeling I’ll probably appreciate Day Bang a lot more. I’ve also got Athol Kay’s The Married Man Sex Life Primer and How To Answer books on the way; I might read and review those first. We’ll see.

Starting Off – Primal Living

So, when contemplating the red pill, where to start?

I started by reading manosphere blogs; one I came across was Freedom 25. Frost’s position in life before he started his blog and quit his job seemed similar to mine (except, he was more successful with women and not a Christian), so I bought his book and read it while on a business trip. (I’d recommend giving it a read: if you’ve been around the manosphere for a while, there won’t be anything particularly revelatory, but it’s a nice distillation of basic red pill information that would be otherwise diffused among hundreds of blog posts on dozens of blogs).

Out of all stuff there, the one the least disruptive and most obviously beneficial change was diet. My diet sucked and I knew it. I ate fast food half a dozen times a week, I would drink a liter or two of soda a day (on top of liters of chocolate milk and sugary juice a week), and I would snack constantly on chips and candy. This was actually an improvement over a couple of years prior where it was fast food almost a dozen times a week and two liters of soda a day.

Frost (and other parts of the manosphere) recommended the primal/paleo diet. I researched it on the internet and it seemed legitimate enough to experiment with. So I bought the Primal Blueprint by Mark Sisson. I decided to have a fairly strict test-run primal living for 3 weeks and was fairly strict for those three weeks. I finished a week ago.

The Changes:

I cut sugars (except for some honey for use in sauces and a daily piece of dark chocolate), grains, starches, and milk/milk products from my diet.

I had eggs for breakfast, a big-ass salad for lunch (with a homemade oil and vinegar dressing), and meat for supper. For snacks: nuts (primarily almonds), berries, and rationed dark chocolate.

Bananas for energy when engaging in extensive physical activity.

Water, and water alone, to drink.

While many paleo/primal practitioners recommend local, organic, and/or grass-fed options, I ate fresh and frozen meat from the grocery store and non-organic fruits and vegetables, as the extra expense and hassle of organic and local food did not seem worth the benefits..

Go to bed earlier for 8 hours of sleep (averaged 6-7 hours a night previously).

Wake up 30 minutes earlier so I could read the Bible and do daily exercise. Two things that I had been missing in my life.

Daily exercise: started with 25 four point presses, 25 sit-ups with bridges, and 20 lunges.

The Results:

I was more lethargic than usual for the first week, despite getting adequate sleep the entire week (I generally did not get enough sleep prior to going primal),  but not exceedingly so. The second and third weeks I had somewhat more energy than usual, but not more than a proper sleep itself would likely explain. I did find that I had more endurance for physical activity by the third week.

My mood tended not to fluctuate as much as it did prior to the diet. It’s possible the end of insulin spikes helped with this.

I cheated a few times; all when out with friends or coworkers. I went for coffee with a friend and ordered a sugarless hot chocolate (I don’t like either coffee or tea), ate a handful of chips on a couple of occasions, had a rye and coke on one occasion, and I had a Clubhouse Sandwich for a work lunch. A few cheats, but limited. I found being out with friends was by far the most challenging part of the primal diet. It’s not hard to avoid things at home, but when everybody else is snacking around you, it’s hard to resist.

For some reason, I really craved a chocolate milkshake for the last two weeks, I also had the occasional hankering for chips. On the other hand, I surprisingly did not really miss soda, candy, bread, cereal, etc. I had thought for sure I would crave soda, but I didn’t. I actually started to almost enjoy water, something I rarely drank before I started outside of when I played sports or was at martial arts class.

Making salads did take up more time than the sandwiches. I saved time by just making a giant salad on Sundays and taking some to work each day, although, at the cost of it not being as fresh as it might have been by the end of the week.

Cooking meat took more time than fast, boiling KD, or nuking a hot dog. On the other hand, it tasted better than the nuked hot dog and cost less than fast food.

I have never had weight problems, so I didn’t do this to lose weight. Until a few years ago I was very skinny with a BMI under 20, but was in terrible shape, with no real upper body strength, no endurance, and no discernable muscle mass. Then I took up martial arts; over the about two years I gained about 50 lbs, most of it muscle mass, some of it a gut. In the first week I lost 10 lbs, then lost 5 more lbs over the next two weeks: 15 lbs in total. My gut noticeably shrank; enough that others even commented on it.

Made my way up to 35 four point presses, 35 sit-ups with bridge,  and 30 lunges. Added squats, started with 10, increased to 20.

The takeaway:

Eggs are an awesome food. They will be my breakfast. A big-ass salad make a great lunch. I prefer both to the sandwiches I used to have for both breakfast and lunch. This will make up the core of my eating

I am cutting soda out of my regular diet, but will indulge occasionally when out with friends. Same with sweets (outside of some dark chocolate).

Meat will be my primary supper. I may have the occasional pot of KD (maybe once a month) or a hot dog with a wrap.

Water will continue to be my primary source of hydration, but I plan on buying a 2-litre of natural juice and a 2-litre of chocolate milk a week. I don’t think I’d be able to go without chocolate milk ( I used to drink about 4 litres of it a week).

When out with friends and family, I will relax and fully enjoy myself. The cost of not being able to snack and eat out with friends, family, coworkers is greater than the expected gain of avoiding a limited amount of chips, sodas, or pizza.

I am going to buy one bag of chips a week for the week (down from 3 or 4 a week). I craved them too much: if I don’t have a limited amount of them, I will inevitably binge.

I will allow myself to occasionally indulge in a milkshake or ice cream.

I am going to avoid fast food, but might indulge occasionally when I am lacking time.

If I really want to eat something not primal, I will indulge myself, but primal eating will form the core of my diet.

I will try to go to bed earlier so I can sleep more: I’m aiming for 7-8 hours a night.

I will continue waking up 30 minutes earlier and continue exercises.

I do not plan on going to organic or local options at any point in the foreseeable future.

If I ever do need weight loss, I will go strict primal for a few weeks. It seemed to work well at this.

Recommendations: I would recommend going primal to others, especially for weight loss purposes. I don’t know if the weight loss was from eating primally or just from cutting out soda and candy, but either way, I lost 15 lbs and noticeably trimmed my gut, while increasing the amount of exercise I was doing (and presumably my muscle mass). I gained some endurance, which was nice. I had fewer changes to my mood, possibly due to a lack of insulin spikes. It’s more expensive than eating grains and starches, but cheaper than fast food.

So that was the first step.

The next step: I ordered Roosh’s Bang, Day Bang, and 30 Bangs; they should be here in the next week or so. I’m going to read them through; I’ll probably post reviews when done. I might post some thoughts on them while reading. I probably won’t apply most of the information as, at this point I am not interested in pursuing meaningless sex as it would be against my religious beliefs and I’m still hoping to find a nice Christian girl to settle down with, but game is one of the foundations of red pill living so I should investigate it.