Behold sexual liberation in all it’s glory:
The tables are filled with young women and men who’ve been chasing money and deals on Wall Street all day, and now they’re out looking for hookups. Everyone is drinking, peering into their screens and swiping on the faces of strangers they may have sex with later that evening. Or not. “Ew, this guy has Dad bod,” a young woman says of a potential match, swiping left. Her friends smirk, not looking up.
Alienation so deep, they’re even alienated from their own hedonistic activities.
“Tinder sucks,” they say. But they don’t stop swiping.
Addiction.
“Brittany, Morgan, Amber,” Marty says, counting on his fingers. “Oh, and the Russian—Ukrainian?”
“Ukrainian,” Alex confirms. “She works at—” He says the name of a high-end art auction house. Asked what these women are like, he shrugs. “I could offer a résumé, but that’s about it … Works at J. Crew; senior at Parsons; junior at Pace; works in finance … ”
“We don’t know what the girls are like,” Marty says.
“And they don’t know us,” says Alex.
Mutual masturbation.
“It’s rare for a woman of our generation to meet a man who treats her like a priority instead of an option,” wrote Erica Gordon on the Gen Y Web site Elite Daily, in 2014.
Why would anyone pay top price for meat that is cheap and readily available?
Short-term mating strategies” seem to work for plenty of women too; some don’t want to be in committed relationships, either, particularly those in their 20s who are focusing on their education and launching careers.
The boilerplate feminist defence in an article where women do little but lament the hook-up culture.
“Young women complain that young men still have the power to decide when something is going to be serious and when something is not—they can go, ‘She’s girlfriend material, she’s hookup material.’ … There is still a pervasive double standard. We need to puzzle out why women have made more strides in the public arena than in the private arena.”
Women have the power to decide what enters their vagina. If they wanted to be relationship material they’d be relationship material, and find relationships.
“There is no dating. There’s no relationships,” says Amanda, the tall elegant one. “They’re rare. You can have a fling that could last like seven, eight months and you could never actually call someone your ‘boyfriend.’ [Hooking up] is a lot easier. No one gets hurt—well, not on the surface.”
They give a wary laugh.
Can it be called self-deception, when you know you’re deceiving yourself?
They tell me how, at their school, an adjunct instructor in philosophy, Kerry Cronin, teaches a freshman class in which an optional assignment is going out on an actual date. “And meet them sober and not when you’re both, like, blackout drunk,” says Jane. “Like, get to know someone before you start something with them. And I know that’s scary.”
Autistic alienation.
“And it reaches a point,” says Jane, “where, if you receive a text message” from a guy, “you forward the message to, like, seven different people: ‘What do I say back? Oh my God, he just texted me!’ It becomes a surprise. ‘He texted me!’ Which is really sad.”
“It is sad,” Amanda says. “That one A.M. text becomes ‘Oh my God, he texted me!’ No, he texted you at one A.M.—it’s meaningless.”
They laugh ruefully.
How fulfilling. How starved for affection can they be?
“It’s not, she says, that women don’t want to have sex. “Who doesn’t want to have sex? But it feels bad when they’re like, ‘See ya.’ ”
“It seems like the girls don’t have any control over the situation, and it should not be like that at all,” Fallon says.
“It’s a contest to see who cares less, and guys win a lot at caring less,” Amanda says.
“It’s body first, personality second,” says Stephanie.
Why would a man care about the personality of his sex toy?
If you object to calling a girl a sex toy, why don’t you object to the girl treating herself like one?
“Sex should stem from emotional intimacy, and it’s the opposite with us right now, and I think it really is kind of destroying females’ self-images,” says Fallon.
That’s how society got in this mess in the first place.
“But if you say any of this out loud, it’s like you’re weak, you’re not independent, you somehow missed the whole memo about third-wave feminism,” says Amanda.
See here.
“I hooked up with three girls, thanks to the Internet, off of Tinder, in the course of four nights, and I spent a total of $80 on all three girls,” Nick relays proudly. He goes on to describe each date, one of which he says began with the young woman asking him on Tinder to “ ‘come over and smoke [weed] and watch a movie.’ I know what that means,” he says, grinning.
$80. Hookers make more and probably receive more affection.
They all say they don’t want to be in relationships. “I don’t want one,” says Nick. “I don’t want to have to deal with all that—stuff.”
“You can’t be selfish in a relationship,” Brian says. “It feels good just to do what I want.”
I ask them if it ever feels like they lack a deeper connection with someone.
There’s a small silence. After a moment, John says, “I think at some points it does.”
“But that’s assuming that that’s something that I want, which I don’t,” Nick says, a trifle annoyed. “Does that mean that my life is lacking something? I’m perfectly happy. I have a good time. I go to work—I’m busy. And when I’m not, I go out with my friends.”
Alienation.
He’s a womanizer, an especially callous one, as well as kind of a loser. The word has been around for at least a decade with different meanings; it’s only in about the last year that it has become so frequently used by women and girls to refer to their hookups.
“What percentage of boys now do you think are fuckboys?,” I asked some young women from New Albany, Indiana.
“One hundred percent,” said Meredith, 20, a sophomore at Bellarmine University in Louisville.
“No, like 90 percent,” said Ashley (the same as mentioned earlier). “I’m hoping to find the 10 percent somewhere. But every boy I’ve ever met is a fuckboy.”
How blindcan they be?
‘He drove me home in the morning.’ That’s a big deal,” said Rebecca, 21, a senior at the University of Delaware.
Heh.
Bring all of this up to young men, however, and they scoff. Women are just as responsible for “the shit show that dating has become,” according to one. “Romance is completely dead, and it’s the girls’ fault,” says Alex, 25, a New Yorker who works in the film industry. “They act like all they want is to have sex with you and then they yell at you for not wanting to have a relationship. How are you gonna feel romantic about a girl like that? Oh, and by the way? I met you on Tinder.”
Someone brings the truth.
Rebecca, the blonde with the canny eyes, also mentioned above, hooked up with someone, too. “It was O.K.” She shrugs. “Right after it was done, it was kind of like, mmmp … mmmp.” She gives a little grunt of disappointment.
Sounds fun.
“I’m on it nonstop, like nonstop, like 20 hours a day,” says Courtney, the one who looks like a 70s movie star.
“It’s, like, fun to get the messages,” Danielle says. “If someone ‘likes’ you, they think you’re attractive.”
“It’s a confidence booster,” says Jessica, 21, the one who looks like a Swedish tennis player.
Self-esteem addiction.
“A lot of guys are lacking in that department,” says Courtney with a sigh. “What’s a real orgasm like? I wouldn’t know.”
They all laugh knowingly.
“I know how to give one to myself,” says Courtney.
“Yeah, but men don’t know what to do,” says Jessica, texting.
“Without [a vibrator] I can’t have one,” Courtney says. “It’s never happened” with a guy. “It’s a huge problem.”
“It is a problem,” Jessica concurs.
Sound like they’re enjoying it, no?
“I think men have a skewed view of the reality of sex through porn,” Jessica says, looking up from her phone. “Because sometimes I think porn sex is not always great—like pounding someone.” She makes a pounding motion with her hand, looking indignant.
“Yeah, it looks like it hurts,” Danielle says.
“Like porn sex,” says Jessica, “those women—that’s not, like, enjoyable, like having their hair pulled or being choked or slammed. I mean, whatever you’re into, but men just think”—bro voice—“ ‘I’m gonna fuck her,’ and sometimes that’s not great.”
“Yeah,” Danielle agrees. “Like last night I was having sex with this guy, and I’m a very submissive person—like, not aggressive at all—and this boy that came over last night, he was hurting me.”
They were quiet a moment.
And yet they all go along with it enthusiastically.
This article by itself is justification for patriarchy. These young women are addicted to attention. They are not enjoying themselves, they are neither respected nor loved, they are starved for affection, and they are willingly making themselves sex toys for men who don’t care in the least about them and enjoy hurting them. It is destroying their emotional core, but they can’t quit their addiction.
They need a stern father to drag them back home and force them to respect themselves.
The men are aimless and alienated. They need responsibility. Instead, they get untold free poon. Why do they need to care, when they can drown themselves in hedonism? They need the women’s fathers to to be cut off from empty masturbation with their breathing sex toys and be forced to contribute and care before hedonism can take them, so they can grow into men.
This is not healthy.
This article confirms what I’ve contended for a while now, and that the young men of today don’t know how to fuck. Either that or they’re only concerned with their own self pleasure and that is a real loss not only for them but the woman as well. For us more experienced hands, it is quite something to drive a woman to orgasm and is or should be an integral or should I say vital component of having sex with a woman.
Perhaps I’m old fashioned but good sex in a good relationship, whether it be marriage or an LTR is like nothing else on this earth.
The sad part is that these women become hardened “whores” who will be unable to bond with a husband when they do decide it is time to get off the carousel. Thanks to feminism they are condemning themselves to a life of meaninglessness and lonliness.
LOST: respect, dignity, affection, responsibility, worthwhile communication, love
FOUND: STDs, selfishness, irresponsibility, emptiness of emotions, variety of people to use each other.
Sexual liberation seems to have liberated more than anyone wanted – definitely not “free love”
I have to agree it’s women who are driving these trends, not men. The way articles are written it suggests that it’s somehow men driving this. Not true – it’s just to soothe female readers.
It’s become near impossible to get anything worthwhile for men if you have the slightest thing that women don’t like about you, and women constantly have absurd, impossible standards and behaviors.
Women are increasingly shockingly sociopathic as well. You as a man will simply be disappeared on their whim, whether in marriage, short or long term relationships of any kind.
I don’t personally think patriarchy will cure this but you’re welcome to your view. The thing is this is what women are when they can be. The genie isn’t going back in the bottle, nor should it without a better solution than anything so far discussed in the alt right.
“For us more experienced hands, it is quite something to drive a woman to orgasm and is or should be an integral or should I say vital component of having sex with a woman.”
I find chicks dig it when I leave my fedora and monocle on during the act, and refer to my cock as a “sword-cane”. Srsly though I appreciate the point that there is an awful lot of joyless, mechanical fucking going on out there, but no need to sperg about it.
As for the OP, I read about this piece at Wintery Knight’s blog the other day, and now it’s good to see your take, which seems to be that the situation described is so repulsive and darkly comical (and so illustrative of alt-right truths) that it mostly speaks for itself. The 3 things that jump out at me are these:
1) NARCISSISM. These are young, presumably attractive people living in our most glamorous city, having easy casual sex with each other and probably making a lot of money in their fancypants careers. In their minds, they are killing it, just like the characters on TV. In reality though it seems they are miserable and alone and all the glamour in the world doesn’t amount to much when anonymous guys use them like Kleenex and never call. Almost as though there are higher values humans need than just indulging our animal appetites…
2) ADDICTION. Just as you say, they people interviewed are pretty open about how much they hate the status quo and how unhappy they are. They won’t change anything, though. Modernity has its hooks in them good and deep, and their whole self-worth is wrapped up in seeing these empty striver lifestyles through to the bitter end. “Tinder sucks, I hate it” said the young woman, without looking up from her Tinder app.
3) AUTISM/COCOONING. Hat tip to agnostic at Face to Face for this one. There have been repeated attempts over the years to make a hookup app for straight people comparable to what Grindr is for sodomites. None ever took off because it was always 50 guys (mostly unattractive) for every girl (mostly unattractive). Tinder seems to have finally cracked it though, and it seems to be because Millennials have become soooooo cocooned and socially retarded that they literally just want to do everything, EVERYTHING through phone apps. Girls don’t want to be hit on by random guys, they want to swipe right or left and filter everything through pictures and text before they’re comfortable enough to engage a boy IRL. You’d think that these glamorous big city types would be easygoing social butterflies in their happy hour bars and nightlife hotspots, but no, they’re all glued to their little pocket video game machines and are painfully awkward in actual face-to-face conversation. I see this all the time in the city where I live too. A typical Millennial can’t even share an elevator without burying their face in a smartphone.
Anyway great post as always. Your prescriptions in the last couple paragraphs are spot on.
It’s like you’ve taken a rather nasty looking apple and cut it open right in front of us, showing just how rotten and maggot-filled it is inside! This is where our sexual economy is. My God, how much longer can this actually last before calamity strikes?
“This article by itself is justification for patriarchy.”
Excellent point.
“Autistic alienation”? AFAIK HFAs and Aspies are far less partial to inebriation than general population.
Are these girls looking for a one night marriage? You meet, have dinner, and fall in love. You get married with automated online forms, have a honeymoon with flowers, and have lovely pillow talk. Sleep. You get up in the morning, shower, dress, file for electronic divorce, and kiss each other goodbye for the last time. Rinse. Repeat.
@Exfernal
It’s just a figure of speech. Autistic as in “awkward and incompetent at normal social interaction”, the point being that these people are afraid of even trying to interact without 1) filtering everything through electronic sorting mechanisms, and 2) getting shitfaced. Normal people can enjoy getting a buzz on when socializing, but here it’s clearly a crutch.
Everyone’s getting what they’ve asked for. Nothing will change until they seek something new out of free will. Reinstated patriarchy can’t do a thing that won’t lead to the same rebellion.
I read that article and had almost identical thoughts.
If this is really what women act like, women are pathetic. Don’t want to have random sex with guys on Tinder? THEN DON’T. It’s really easy. I bet the majority of people on this thread have managed to never have sex with random anonymous guys on Tinder, without even trying very hard to resist it.
How do people who say, “Well, I don’t really want to have anonymous sex with strangers, but I mysteriously jut can’t stop myself,” walk through a grocery store without eating everything straight off the shelves or tie their own shoelaces in the morning?
The men basically want anonymous sex, and get anonymous sex. It’s a little alienating and soul destroying, but they’re basically enjoying themselves. The women, by contrast, don’t even sound like they’re having fun. They’re just… too dumb not to, I guess.
The most amazing part of the article is the basic assumption of the female author that OF COURSE it’s good and fine and normal for women to have as many sex partners as they possibly can.
Her unstated 3rd wave feminism assumptions seem to be unexamined even as she examines them! It’s almost insane.
The author actually quotes one of the girls saying “But if you say any of this out loud, it’s like you’re weak, you’re not independent, you somehow missed the whole memo about third-wave feminism.” Her interview subjects question it, but the author doesn’t.
The author’s assumption is that female sexual liberation is good, and is just a given that should never be questioned. This bizarre world view leads her to say ridiculous things.
“There is still a pervasive double standard. We need to puzzle out why women have made more strides in the public arena than in the private arena.”
We need to puzzle it out??? It’s not much of a puzzle! Women having sex with different strangers every night are unlikely to inspire extended romantic marriage courtship. The truth is, there SHOULD be a double standard, because boys and girls are not the same. But there isn’t one anymore. These girls are sleeping around like male pick up artists. And it is making them miserable.
The female author is clearly in thrall to the degraded assumptions of modern feminism–1) Women should hump like sailors, the more guys the better; and 2) Women have no agency–if they are unhappy with the humping, it’s not their fault, it’s the guy’s fault, or, even more hilariously, it’s their smart phone’s fault!
As Free Northerner so eloquently states:
“Women have the power to decide what enters their vagina. If they wanted to be relationship material they’d be relationship material, and find relationships.”
It all comes down to Grandma wisdom. Any woman from 50 years ago, talking to these unhappily promiscuous young women, would come up with the obviously correct remedy in a second: stop sleeping around!
But the author of the article doesn’t even suggest that’s a possible choice. Instead, she wants to “puzzle out” how much of the blame belongs to men and how much belongs to smart phones.
On some level, the author must be a troll. Maybe the goal of the article is to make the level of young promiscuity out there sound EVEN MORE EXTREME than it really is to normalize this deviancy?
Or maybe both her portrayal of unhappy promiscuity and her obtuseness about the obvious solution are both legitimate. In which case, the decline is accelerating to terminal velocity.
WHY are these girls acting this way?
My guesses are:
– Feminism has told them that promiscuity is their right, nay, their duty
– Women can be conformists, and if everyone is doing it, it seems normal
– They want male attention, and see sex as the way to get it. Women are always competing for the alpha males. It used to happen in more of a dating context, now it happens with post-midnight booty calls. While the girls are unhappy getting pumped and dumped, they are still competing with each other for the hot guys.
– Hope springs eternal. Girls have adapted to the “new dating’ (getting pumped and dumped). But they still foolishly hope that this “dating” behavior will lead to a devoted boyfriend who wants to help fulfill her princess fantasy.
The alpha guys on tinder are sleeping with 5 girls a week. I suspect among the girls there’s a bit more (hyper-accelerated) serial monogamy. The girls are sleeping with one guy every few weeks, getting excited about him, hoping he’ll call, feeling sad when he doesn’t call, then getting back on tinder to make themselves feel better.
– Finally, the marginal price for sex is set by the low-cost supplier. Since sex is increasingly easy to come by, at least for the most desirable males, these girls fear that they will be overlooked if they aren’t participating in this sexual market.
But they fail to understand that the sexual market and the marriage market are different. Which has two big effects: One, bunch of young, pretty, unhappy sluts. And two, sixes no longer satisfied marrying sixes because they’ve had sex with too many nines.
“They tell me how, at their school, an adjunct instructor in philosophy, Kerry Cronin, teaches a freshman class in which an optional assignment is going out on an actual date. ‘And meet them sober and not when you’re both, like, blackout drunk…”
Students drink to excess while flirting because they’ve been programmed by feminists to believe that men shouldn’t be masculine and women shouldn’t be feminine; they need chemical help to knock down this completely artificial inhibition.
I’ve seen professor Cronin speak a few times; I’ll wager she’s saved a lot of students over the years from jumping into the cesspool described in this article. One of the things she stresses in her talks is that the hook-up scene is only one side of this phenomenon, and the smaller side at that- even more millennials than are engaging in shallow hookups are effectively “opting out” of dating and relationships altogether, disgusted with the meat-market but unaware that there’s any other option.
In large measure, they’re ignoring the opposite sex because they have never been given any social cues about the proper “script” to follow. Combine strident feminist ravings about sexual harassment, official non-judgmentalism from all authority figures (who suppress even the tiniest squeak of criticism toward “consenting adults”), and sex-saturated TV and movies where characters jump into bed at the drop of a hat. Now, marinate a child in this milieu from the cusp of puberty until the age of majority. Where on Earth would he learn what normal dating looks like? Professor Cronin literally has to explain to her students what a constitutes a normal relationship progression- a couple of coffee or lunch dates, escalating to dinner & movie dates, gradually escalating to an exclusive relationship or “going steady”, etc.- because they’ve never been exposed to anything like it in their lives, except maybe through old re-runs of 1950s TV shows.
We’ve changed our social rules to accommodate the desires of sociopaths at the expense of everyone else, and now everyone who’s not a sociopath is miserable.
@ Free Northerner
Your comment ” $80. Hookers make more and probably receive more affection.” mad me laugh. Sadly or funnily depending on your mood, professional whores deserve to be paid more and receive more affection because they are more likely to provide the Girlfriend Experience, GFE, than these Generation X women and even more so Millennial women slut amateurs even when not asked for it. Let’s be honest here. I’ve read and heard it stated that GFE, the Girlfriend Experience, is the most requested item on the sex menu in the brothels of Nevada. Why should any man pay more for inferior quality when he does not have to do so?
It’s amazing how quickly dating disappeared. Ten years ago, university and college students had girlfriends and boyfriends. While the word wasn’t used much, an ‘alpha’ back then was a guy who always had a hot girlfriend and who could occasionally get casual sex at a nightclub if he were so inclined. The girls regularly inclined to be the other half of such brief liaisons were known as ‘sluts’. Most girls wanted a steady boyfriend. They would occasionally have one night stands and would be rather quiet about it afterwards.
That was ten years ago.