Tag Archives: Series

Introduction to the Omega’s Guide

If you’ve been reading here for a while, you’ve noticed my contributions have generally been theoretical rather than practical. The reason being I am still a beta slowly working on self-improvement (with as much failure as success), rather than the patriarch I plan to be, and am thus not in a position to provide much practical advice on becoming alpha with any authority.

On the other hand, I think there is one area where I can offer some solid advice that is lacking. I have found that most of the advice in the manosphere is geared towards the beta, the average man of moderate social abilities with a circle of friends and the occasional success with woman. Very rarely is advice given that is addressed to the omega, the man with no social abilities, few, if any friends, and no success with women. I have mentioned I used to be an omega, in both the conventional and Voxian sense, who through years of effort, hard-work, and self-improvement became a better version of myself,  so I think I can help fill this gap.

Thus begins part one of the Omega’s Guide to Not Being a Loser (maybe someone can help me think of a better title).

First, some information on what this guide is and is not. This is not a guide for becoming an alpha male admired by all; it is a guide for becoming a socially functional member of society. This guide will not help you score dozens of chicks, but it will help you talk to girls and get the occasional relationship. This guide will not make you a leader of men, but it will help you acquire a circle of friends. This guide will not help you rule the club each weekend, but it will help it so that you have social activities to attend most weekends. This guide is not about changing who you are, but rather making you a better, happier, more fulfilled version of yourself; I am not trying to make an introvert into an extrovert, but even the most introverted need some social interaction.

This guide is for the omega, the loser, the socially maladjusted who wants to better himself and get more out of life.

How to tell if this guide is for you:

  • You spend most of your Friday and Saturday evenings at home playing video games or surfing 4chan rather than spending time with friends.
  • You have few friends, wish you had more, but don’t know how to make some.
  • You have few social activities that aren’t church, work, or school related; ie. places where people are more or less forced to accept you.
  • You spend 30-40 or more hours a week on the internet or video games.
  • You are unable to carry on a decent conversation with strangers, ie; Anything beyond “Hi.” “How are you?” “I’m doing well.” is awkward, if it happens at all.
  • You have unable to carry on a conversation with a girl.
  • You are unable to initiate a conversation with a girl.
  • You have liked a girl for months (years) and have never talked with her beyond the occasional hello or perfunctory, “How are you?”
  • You are miserable and lonely, but have no idea how to fix it.
  • You feel incapable of reading other people’s emotional states and the actions and emotions of other people confuse you.
  • You often bored with life in general.

Do a fair amount of these honestly apply to you? If they do, you are likely an omega and you are who this guide is aimed to.

Now, be honest with yourself. It may suck to acknowledge that you are on the bottom of the social hierarchy, but you can’t improve your life until you realize you have improving to do. You don’t have to tell me, but you do have to tell yourself.

So, this is the first step to no longer being a loser:

Acknowledge to yourself that you need to improve yourself.

It is not normal and not healthy to have no friends, to be lonely, to spend all your free times in your room alone on your electronic devices, and to be unable to talk to girls or strangers.

Don’t split hairs (I browse Reddit, not 4chan and three weeks ago I spent Saturday at Games Workshop). Don’t rationalize (I’m an introvert, I don’t need friends; I’m happy being alone). Don’t feel hopeless (why would anybody want to spend time with me?). You know perfectly well you are lonely and miserable and wish you could be different. So, let me help you help yourself.

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I have a loose plan for this project, but if you want something specific covered, feel free to ask.

With this series I am going to develop a plan to help Omegas and losers develop themselves into socially capable people with lives they can enjoy. Omegas (and Voxian gammas) are the target audience. If you are not an omega, I still feel free to read along, you might still get something out of it. As well, feel free to comment and provide any information you think may be relevant.

Once I’m done, I might compile the series into a pamphlet or short book if I think there is enough demand for it, and if I do so, I will use suggestions given to improve it.

Biblical Alpha: Proverbs – Part 4

Welcome to the third and final part of Biblical Alpha: Proverbs. (Part 1 , Part 2, and Part 3).

We will cap off the series with the passage on the Woman who Fears the Lord from Proverbs 31:10-31.

Also known as the Proverbs 31 women, this passage is the standard many in evangelical and other Christian circles measure womanhood by. It is a standard some Christian women like to rebel against and one many Christian women think they fall short of, but try to attain.

Any patriarch-to-be should examine this woman carefully. Make sure any potential woman you plan to marry matches what is written here, or at least is trying to. (This goes for anyone else planning to hitch themselves to a woman, not just patriarchs).

So let’s look at the kind of women a patriarch should try to find. I’ll break it down:

An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.

A wife of good character is one of the greatest gifts a man can have. If you marry, make sure you marry a wife of good character.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.

A good wife is trustworthy. If you can’t trust a woman, don’t marry her.

She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.

A good wife will seek the good for her husband. She will not try to hurt you. Marry a women who wants to to good by you, not a women who demands and criticizes (or worse).

She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.

A good wife works hard. Marry a women who is active and productive, not lazy. Do not marry a woman who’s spoiled or unwilling to get her hands dirty.

She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.

A good wife prepares food for her family and makes sure they are fed right. Marry a woman who likes to cook. Do not marry a women who refuses to cook because it’s sexist.

She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

A good wife can take be trusted to care of finances and handle her wealth properly. Marry a woman who can follow a budget. Do not marry a wasteful spendthrift or a women who likes wracking up consumer debt.

She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.

A good wife is strong. Marry a woman who can take care of herself and won’t be utterly helpless without you. Do not marry a delicate flower, a weak women, a dependent women, or someone unwilling take care of themselves. (Hint: Do not confuse being strong with being bitchy or a ball-buster as some feminists are wont to).

She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.

A good wife is productive and industrious. Marry a women who is willing to work hard, do not marry one who is lazy.

She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.

A good wife is compassionate, charitable, and generous. Marry a woman who cares about the people around her, do not marry a woman who thinks only of herself.

She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.

A good wife will make sure her family, herself, and her home are kept well and look presentable. Look for a wife who will value and create beauty in herself, her family, her home, and you. (Hint: Valuing beauty is not the same as vanity and superficiality). Marry a woman who takes care of herself and her home, do not marry a disorganized mess.

Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.

A good wife is one who will bring you respect among your peers and your betters. Marry a woman you are proud to show off to your friends, your church, your family, and you boss. Do not marry a woman you would be embarrassed to bring to an office party or family dinner.

She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.

A reiteration; a good wife is productive, industrious, and financially astute.

Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.

A good wife is dignified, but has a sense of humour. Marry a respectable women with an easygoing, joyful temperament. Do not marry a coarse or “low-class” woman or a women who feigns dignity through being stuck-up, prissy, or a stick-in-the-mud.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

A good wife is wise and speaks kindly. Marry a woman whose judgment you respect and who talks kindly to you and others. Do not marry a stupid, foolish, or rude woman.

She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Another re-iteration; a good wife takes care of her family and isn’t lazy.

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”

A good wife will bring joy to you and your children. Choose one that will. Choose a good mother for your children. Do not marry a woman that will bring pain or sorrow to you or your children.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Beauty fades. Choose a wife who has good character; do not fall into the trap of marrying a beautiful woman lacking character. Beauty is good, but character matters more in the long run.

Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

A good wife will let her good works speak for her; she will not be vain, boastful, or arrogant. Marry a humble woman who desires to do good and help those around her. Do not marry a selfish narcissist, an attention-whore, or an arrogant, vain, or snotty woman.

The Proverbs portion of the Biblical Alpha series has been a bit different from the rest of the series; it has focused more on advice for men, than on Biblical teaching on masculine virtues, but I hope it’s been valuable to some of the readers.

A major theme throughout, is choosing the right woman and avoiding destructive women. Hopefully, this will  help patriarchs-to-be (or others looking for relationships with females) know more about the kind of woman they should look for, and the kind of women they should avoid.

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* All references from Proverbs, ESV version.

Biblical Alpha: Proverbs – Part 3

Now for the third part of Biblical Alpha: Proverbs. (Part 1 and Part 2).

Three things are too wonderful for me;
four I do not understand:
the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a serpent on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a virgin.
This is the way of an adulteress:
she eats and wipes her mouth
and says, “I have done no wrong.”(30:18-20)*

The first few lines ending with “the way of a man with a virgin” made only limited sense to me, I thought it was positive at first. So I read some online commentary on it.

Some took the last line as meaning a man who engages in fornication and deflowers an innocent virgin (a really big deal in Jewish society), but leaves no visible trace of sin (as the eagle, serpent, and ship leave no trace of their passage). Under this reading, it would show disapproval of fornication, at least with virgins. So, a no-no to playerdom.

Others I read had viewed the line as something more innocent and wonderful. They compared young love and marriage to the natural wonders of the world. In that case, marry young, marry a virgin, it’s wonderful.

Some connected it to the next few lines about the adulteress. Where the original four lines hide their traces, so to does the adulterous. In this case, beware, the virgin who says she’s a virgin may not be, and the women who plays innocent, may not be innocent. These warnings far precede those of the manosphere about women lying about their n-count.

So, next time a women complains about you judging her for her number of sexual partners, tell her it’s in the Bible, Proverbs 13:19-20.

I’m not sure which would be the best reading and can’t verify as I don’t know Hebrew, but they all seem to fit well with the rest of scripture, so they all seem valid. A combination of the first and third interpretation seemed to be the one most used by the older and mroe well-respected sources, so I’d lean to those.

There is also is another warning against adulteresses.

Under three things the earth trembles;
under four it cannot bear up:
a slave when he becomes king,
and a fool when he is filled with food;
an unloved woman when she gets a husband,
and a maidservant when she displaces her mistress. (30:21-23)*

In other translations unloved comes out as bitter, odious, or hated. Avoid bitter and odious women.

Also, avoid those with newly acquired power who might use it pettily. (Does he mean democracy?)

What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb?What are you doing, son of my vows?
Do not give your strength to women,
your ways to those who destroy kings.(31:2-3)

A clear warning not to waste yourself on women.

This commentary said it nicely:

Give not thy strength unto women, unto strange women. He must not be soft and effeminate, nor spend that time in a vain conversation with the ladies which should be spent in getting knowledge and despatching business, nor employ that wit (which is the strength of the soul) in courting and complimenting them which he should employ about the affairs of his government.

Having a good woman is excellent, but don’t waste the effort on women who aren’t worth it. Also, have a life beyond women, there are many more important and fruitful things to attend to.

Tomorrow I will publish the fourth and final piece of our current looks at Proverbs. We will be looking at the exciting topic of the Proverbs 31 woman. Don’t miss it.

Biblical Alpha: Proverbs – Part 2

Here is part two of our look at Proverbs for the Biblical Alpha series. This will be examining the section of shorter proverbs of the book.

The book has many warnings against falling for the wrong woman (or the prostitute):

A foolish son is ruin to his father,
and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain. (19:13)*

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. (21:9)

It is better to live in a desert land
than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman. (21:19)

A continual dripping on a rainy day
and a quarrelsome wife are alike;
to restrain her is to restrain the wind
or to grasp oil in one’s right hand. (27:15-16)

For a prostitute is a deep pit;
an adulteress is a narrow well.
She lies in wait like a robber
and increases the traitors among mankind. (23:27-28)

He who loves wisdom makes his father glad,
but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. (29:3)

Choosing the wrong women, or letting her control your life is a nightmare. If nothing else sinks in, know that you have to be very careful choosing the women you allow into your life.

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout
is a beautiful woman without discretion. (11:22)

Remember, beauty is nice, but it is not the only thing. Don’t let the wrong women control you with her looks and charm.

On the other hand, women aren’t completely bad. A good wife is a prize:

He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.(18:22)

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. (12:4)

The wisest of women builds her house,
but folly with her own hands tears it down. (14:1)

So choose a good one. She will bring you honour and joy and she will build your house. Choose a wife for yourself that will do this.

For women who might be reading this, be wise, build your home up, don’t tear it down.

In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence,
and his children will have refuge.(14:26)

The wise man is confident; confidence is key. Preferably you’d gain it from God, but even if you’re not religious, gain it anyway.

On the other hand:

Everyone who is arrogant in heart is ran abomination to the Lord;
be assured, he will not go unpunished. (16:5)

Pride goes before destruction,
and a haughty spirit before a fall. (16:18)

Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty,
but humility comes before honor. (18:12)

Haughty eyes and a proud heart,
the lamp of the wicked, are sin. (21:4)

The reward for humility and fear of the Lord
is riches and honor and life. (22:4)

Arrogance and haughty pride will lead to your destruction. There is a difference between arrogance and confidence: the latter will build you up, the former will destroy you.

Know the difference.

Related to that:

Do not boast about tomorrow,
for you do not know what a day may bring.
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
a stranger, and not your own lips. (27:1-2)

Don’t boast, let others boast for you. Have enough honour that others will demonstrate fitness for you. Pre-selection is good.

The vexation of a fool is known at once,
but the prudent ignores an insult. (12:16)

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife,
but he who is slow to anger quiets contention. (15:18)

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. (16:32)

Good sense makes one slow to anger,
and it is his glory to overlook an offense. (19:11)

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge,
and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise;
when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.(17:27-28)

A fool gives full vent to his spirit,
but a wise man quietly holds it back. (29:11)

Keep your frame. A wise man does not allow others to control his emotional state. He remains in control of himself at all times.

Control your frame. Demonstrate self-mastery.

The glory of young men is their strength,
but the splendor of old men is their gray hair. (20:29)

Young men, be strong for to gain honour.

The wise of heart is called discerning,
and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. (16:21)

Be judicious and learn to be persuasive.

Desire without knowledge is not good,
and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way. (19:2)

Be judicious. Demonstrate wisdom, knowledge, and mastery over yourself.

Be not among drunkards
or among gluttonous eaters of meat,
for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty,
and slumber will clothe them with rags. (23:20-21)

God would probably not approve overly much of night game though.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. (13:12)

A man does not hope, he takes action to fulfill his desire.

Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.(27:5)

Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor
than he who flatters with his tongue. (28:23)

A man does not slander or flatter. He should honest and straight-forward in his criticism.

I’m going to end today’s post with what should be the motto of the manosphere:

Iron sharpens iron,
and one man sharpens another. (27:17)

Men need to interact with other men to better themselves. This is what the manosphere exists for: for men to better themselves.

Also, outside the manosphere, start your own gang so you can work to improve yourselves.

* All references from Proverbs, ESV translation.

Biblical Alpha: Proverbs – Part 1

The Book of Proverbs from the Bible is one of ancient wisdom written mostly in the form of simple proverbs (surprising, I know). The book is filled with instructions on attaining wisdom and avoiding evil and folly. So, as a continuation of the Biblical Alpha series, let’s take a look at it from a red pill perspective.

The book starts with admonishments to pursue wisdom, follow God, and avoid evil so it will go well with you. These themes continue throughout the book. I will not be talking of them, instead I will mainly focus on those related to the theme at hand. I would still heavily recommend reading the entire book to anyone, as the cultural significance of Proverbs alone is more than enough reason to do so.

So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman,
from the adulteress with her smooth words,
who forsakes the companion of her youth
and forgets the covenant of her God;
for her house sinks down to death,
and her paths to the departed;
one who go to her come back,
nor do they regain the paths of life. (2:16-19)*

Here, some common sense advice is given to avoid the adulteress and to be wary of women who would forsake their marriage vows. They will lead to death.

Women are not inherently good and men who are not wary will suffer.

This is reiterated and expanded upon later:

My son, be attentive to my wisdom;
incline your ear to my understanding,
that you may keep discretion,
and your lips may guard knowledge.
For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,
and her speech is smoother than oil,
but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death;
her steps follow the path to Sheol;
she does not ponder the path of life;
her ways wander, and she does not know it.
And now, O sons, listen to me,
and do not depart from the words of my mouth.
Keep your way far from her,
and do not go near the door of her house,
lest you give your honor to others
and your years to the merciless,
lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,
and at the end of your life you groan,
when your flesh and body are consumed,
and you say, “How I hated discipline,
and my heart despised reproof!
I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
or incline my ear to my instructors.
I am at the brink of utter ruin
in the assembled congregation.”
Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord,
and he ponders all his paths.
The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
He dies for lack of discipline,
and because of his great folly he is led astray. (5)

Here we see it presented even more starkly. The wrong women will doom you.

“Keep discretion” and “guard knowledge” are another way of saying ‘maintain your frame’. Do not allow yourself to be sucked into the charms of a woman against your better judgment and your principles.

If you choose to pursue the “forbidden women” you will labour for others while groaning as your flesh is consumed.

Does this not sound like the plaintive cries of an MRA whose women betrayed him?

Be very careful of the women you give yourself to.

Also, notice the instruction to love your beautiful wife. The Bible implies that you should choose a spouse that you find beautiful. Don’t fall for the “a godly man should love me for who I am inside” nonsense some will spew.

For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light,
and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life,
to preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress.
Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;
for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread,
but a married woman hunts down a precious life.
Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?
Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched?
So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
no one who touches her will go unpunished.
People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,
but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
he will give all the goods of his house.
He who commits adultery lacks sense;
he who does it destroys himself.
He will get wounds and dishonor,
and his disgrace will not be wiped away.
For jealousy makes a man furious,
and he will not spare when he takes revenge.
He will accept no compensation;
he will refuse though you multiply gifts. (6:23-35)

Another admonition to avoid the adulteress. I think there might a theme here.

And behold, the woman meets him,
dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart.
She is loud and wayward;
her feet do not stay at home;
now in the street, now in the market,
and at every corner she lies in wait.
She seizes him and kisses him,
and with bold face she says to him,
“I had to offer sacrifices,
and today I have paid my vows;
so now I have come out to meet you,
to seek you eagerly, and I have found you.
I have spread my couch with coverings,
colored linens from Egyptian linen;
I have perfumed my bed with myrrh,
aloes, and cinnamon.
Come, let us take our fill of love till morning;
let us delight ourselves with love.
For my husband is not at home;
he has gone on a long journey;
he took a bag of money with him;
at full moon he will come home.”
With much seductive speech she persuades him;
with her smooth talk she compels him.
All at once he follows her,
as an ox goes to the slaughter,
or as a stag is caught fast
till an arrow pierces its liver;
as a bird rushes into a snare;
he does not know that it will cost him his life.
And now, O sons, listen to me,
and be attentive to the words of my mouth.
Let not your heart turn aside to her ways;
do not stray into her paths,
for many a victim has she laid low,
and all her slain are a mighty throng.
Her house is the way to Sheol,
going down to the chambers of death. (7:10-27)

Another warning about the “forbidden woman”. It is obvious at this point that any Christian leader arguing the natural goodness of women has never read Proverbs.

It is also obvious that the Bible is very strong on letting young men know that the wrong type of women is destructive.

As I’ve written before, be very judgmental when choosing a mate.

*****

At this point, Proverbs changes from longer form, almost poetic, admonitions to wisdom, to shorter and simpler proverbs. This post is already long enough, so I’ll leave it there, but Part 2 should be forthcoming soon.

* All references from Proverbs, ESV translation.

Financial Analysis of Sex: Relationship vs. Marriage

I previously did an economic comparison of obtaining casual sex through both prostitution and game. I said I would do the cost of sex in marriage and relationship game in the future, so, here it is (much later than I originally anticipated).

The following is a financial analysis of the costs of obtaining sex through a relationship or game. For simplicity’s sake, it ignores the greater economic costs beyond financial and benefits beyond the sexual (both material and immaterial). I will likely analyze these more in the future in their own posts.

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Relationship Game

If you convert game to a relationship, the cost per sexual encounter goes down.

The original 3 sexual encounters would be $460 each (as calculated in the game for casual sex post), but once the initial costs of picking-up a women have been met, converting a short-term fling from game to a relationship can change the costs of sex.

According to Roosh, each date costs about $35. We’ll assume you enjoy dating your partner for its own sake (hence why you’re in a relationship), so there’s no foregone cost. So, assuming each date leads to sex, each sexual encounter in the relationship past the first 3 would cost only $35 each. If you don’t enjoy dating your partner (for whatever reason), then you can add $20/date, if we assume 2 hours per date (at a foregone wage of $10).

We’ll assume a date/sex an average three times a week in a one-month relationship (for a total of 12 times, plus the 3 encounters he had in the fling), and two times a week in a 6-month (for a total of 48 times, plus 3) and 1-year relationship (for a total of 104, plus 3) (The same caveats would apply here as in Game for Sex).

Cost for Sex (1-month relationship): $120

Cost for Sex (6-month relationship): $60

Cost for Sex (1-year relationship): $47

This could, of course, be reduced by paying less for dates, or forgoing dates altogether in favour of less costly activities.

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Marriage

The average married man gets sex about once per week.

The average length of marriage prior to divorce is 8 years, but 60% of first marriages do not end in divorce. In the case of no divorce, we’ll assume the average marriage lasts 40 years (about 60-75 years old) until the male is either dead or are either incapable of or not desiring sex.

In that case, the average marriage lasts about 27 years.

Over that period, the average male can expect to get sex an average of about 1400 times. (1500 if he had sex in a 1-year relationship prior to marriage as per relationship game above).

The cost of dating and a one-year relationship prior to the marriage are almost $5000 (we’ll assume he enjoyed dating the person he chose to marry). The average cost of a wedding is about $27000.

We’ll also add in the 40% chance of $37,383 loss due to divorce (assuming the man will be the primary, but not sole breadwinner).

Cost for Sex (Marriage): $50 ($46 if you slept together before marriage)

This could of course be significantly reduced by not having a wedding that costs $27,000. It could also be reduced by minimizing chances of divorce. Only 1/5 of marriages have weddings that cost more than $30k, so it’s likely that really extravagant weddings are really pulling the average up, so it shouldn’t be impossible.

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This analysis assumes that your wife will be pulling her own weight in the marriage or relationship and is not being a freeloader. This can be by either earning her keep through paid employment, by raising your children (in which case the costs of supporting her would be added under the costs of raising a child), or providing companionship commiserate with your upkeep of her. If you are in a relationship or marriage with a women and supporting her solely for sex with no other gain for yourself, then the costs of sex would be much higher (but why on earth would you do this?).

This also ignores the many non-material and/or non-sexual benefits, costs, and risks for being in a relationship. This analysis assumes these are overall a wash in relation to material costs and the cost of sex.

I may try to economically analyze these factors more in-depth at another time.

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Conclusion

In the end, the final costs for sex are:

Prostitution: $300
Game: $460 ($200 if you enjoy clubbing and game for their own sakes)
Relationship (1 month): $120
Relationship (6 months): $60
Relationship (1 year): $47
Marriage: $50 ($46 if you slept together before marriage)

Overall, a long-term relationship and marriage are, financially-speaking, the cheapest methods of acquiring sex. Prostitution is the most expensive, but game without relationship costs more if you dislike clubbing.

Biblical Alpha: Boaz

Returning briefly to my Biblical Alpha series, today we will look at Boaz, who became the forefather of both King David and Jesus. This story is taken entirely from the book of Ruth and all quotes are from the ESV.

The Book of Ruth starts off with Ruth (surprise), the loyal heathen wife of an expatriate Jew. Her father-in-law dies while in her land. Her husband and brother-in-law all die after 10 years of marriage. She converts to Judaism and pledges to takes care of her mother-in-law, Naomi. They move back to Israel. This is where Boaz comes in:

Now Naomi had a relative of her husband’s, a worthy man of the clan of Elimelech, whose name was uBoaz. And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, “Let me go to the field and glean among the ears of grain after him win whose sight I shall find favor.” And she said to her, “Go, my daughter.” So she set out and went and gleaned in the field after the reapers, and she happened to come to the part of the field belonging to Boaz, who was of the clan of Elimelech. And behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem. And he said to the reapers, “The Lord be with you!” And they answered, “The Lord bless you.” (2:1-4)

First thing you learn about Boaz is he’s “worthy”. He owns his own land and has numerous men working under him whose respect he commands. This is a man of status and wealth.

He see Ruth and asks: “Whose young woman is this?” (2:5)

He’s told. Then Ruth asks to be allowed to glean his fields, so he responds: “Now, listen, my daughter, do not go to glean in another field or leave this one, but keep close to my young women.” (2:8)

It’s established here that she’s much younger than him, young enough to be his daughter. Being married 10 years, she’s probably in her mid-late 20’s (they married young back then). So he’s probably, at least in his 40’s. Jewish tradition puts Boaz in his 80’s and Ruth in her 40’s.

Either way, remember that she’s a lot younger than him.

He continues:

Let your eyes be on the field that they are reaping, and go after them. Have I not charged the young men not to touch you? And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink what the young men have drawn.

So, he has a number of young men and young women working under him. He is confident enough in the respect the young men have in him that he doesn’t give a second thought that they will obey his orders not to harass her. He definitely has honour in full.

He’s very generous to her, why?

But Boaz answered her, “All that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband has been fully told to me, and how you left your father and mother and your native land and came to a people that you did not know before. (2:11)

Because she’s been loyal to his kin. Good female beta traits in her and good filial loyalty in him.

And at mealtime Boaz said to her, “Come here and eat some bread and dip your morsel in the wine.” So she sat beside the reapers, and he passed to her roasted grain. And she ate until she was satisfied, and she had some left over. When she rose to glean, Boaz instructed his young men, saying, “Let her glean even among the sheaves, and do not reproach her. And also pull out some from the bundles for her and leave it for her to glean, and do not rebuke her.” (2:14-16)

He shares his wealth, but mostly hides it from her. He’s not doing it to buy her affection, but simply out of the goodness of his heart. A bit beta, but not supplication.

Ruth gleans, then goes home and shares with Naomi. They both praise his goodness and Ruth says this: “The man is a close relative of ours, one of our redeemers.” (2:20)

This is important. A kinsman-redeemer refers to a close relative who takes on a number of duties for his kinsman, one of which was marrying the wife of of his kinsmen to continue his family line for him. So right here, Ruth’s being alerted that he’s available for marriage.

Naomi then gives Ruth some advice on how to seduce Boaz, which more or less amounts to ‘make yourself pretty and when he’s drunk sneak up and spoon with him’. So she does:

So she went down to the threshing floor and did just as her mother-in-law had commanded her. And when Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain. Then she came softly and uncovered his feet and lay down. At midnight the man was startled and turned over, and behold, a woman lay at his feet! He said, “Who are you?” And she answered, “I am Ruth, your servant. Spread your wings over your servant, for you are a redeemer.” And he said, “May you be blessed by the LORD, my daughter. You have made this last kindness greater than the first in that you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you ask, for all my fellow townsmen know that you are a worthy woman. And now it is true that I am a redeemer. Yet there is a redeemer nearer than I. Remain tonight, and in the morning, if he will redeem you, good; let him do it. But if he is not willing to redeem you, then, as the LORD lives, I will redeem you. Lie down until the morning.”
…
So she lay at his feet until the morning, but arose before one could recognize another. (3:6-13)

So, here he is 40+, possibly 80, lying down to protect his grain; even in his old age (40 was a lot more back than than it is today) he stills strong enough to do his own dirty work to protect his property. This was a man of Strength.

While sated and protecting his crops, a women comes to him with clear intent. Some interpreters take the “lie at his feet” to mean “got into bed with” and “spread your wings” as “take me now” (more or less), but even without this highly sexual interpretation, he is obviously being seduced by a “worthy” women half his age in the most unsubtle manner possible. That’s alpha.

Now, he lets a little bit of beta frame slip from him here, with his “kindness” and “young man” remark, but he follows it up with a disqualifier, so he’s running some natural, mild push-pull game here.

The next day: “Now Boaz had gone up to the gate and sat down there.”

Again, a high display of honour here. Sitting at the gate was for Jewish elders and being able to do so was a great honour. Boaz had some rep.

The following interaction occurs:

Now Boaz had gone up to the gate and sat down there. And behold, the redeemer, of whom Boaz had spoken, came by. So Boaz said, “Turn aside, friend; sit down here.” And he turned aside and sat down. And he took ten men of the elders of the city and said, “Sit down here.” So they sat down. Then he said to the redeemer, “Naomi, who has come back from the country of Moab, is selling the parcel of land that belonged to our relative Elimelech. So I thought I would tell you of it and say, ‘Buy it in the presence of those sitting here and in the presence of the elders of my people.’ If you will redeem it, redeem it. But if you will not, tell me, that I may know, for there is no one besides you to redeem it, and I come after you.” And he said, “I will redeem it.” Then Boaz said, “The day you buy the field from the hand of Naomi, you also acquire Ruth the Moabite, the widow of the dead, in order to perpetuate the name of the dead in his inheritance.” Then the redeemer said, “I cannot redeem it for myself, lest I impair my own inheritance. Take my right of redemption yourself, for I cannot redeem it.” (4:1-6)

He convinces the man to not only forgo a new wife, but also to forgo taking some new property. He gets both a wife and some land out of the deal. A shrewd businessman; a master at his trade.

He then claims his new property:

Then Boaz said to the elders and all the people, “You are witnesses this day that I have bought from the hand of Naomi all that belonged to Elimelech and all that belonged to Chilion and to Mahlon. Also Ruth the Moabite, the widow of Mahlon, I have bought to be my wife, to perpetuate the name of the dead in his inheritance, that the name of the dead may not be cut off from among his brothers and from the gate of his native place. You are witnesses this day.” (4:9-10)

Both legally and in other ways:

So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the Lord gave her conception, and she bore a son.(4:13)

Rather virile for his age. C’est non?

And the women of the neighborhood gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi.” They named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David. (4:17)

The Lord rewards him by making him the forefather of the future house of the kings of Israel and of Jesus himself. Not bad.

Once again, a hero of the Bible demonstrates the masculine virtues and alphaness to the glory of God and himself. He lands a worthy gal half his age, fathers a lasting house, and becomes renowned.

Read the rest of the series here.

Government’s Lack of Mission

Continuing on in the Why Government Fails series, we will start with the main reason government doesn’t work: mission.

To accomplish anything an organization needs a mission to accomplish. You can’t plan unless you know what you are planning for and you can’t act rationally unless you know the reason for acting. For an organization or individual to succeed and prosper it needs a mission to work towards.

The problem with government is it doesn’t have a mission and it rarely can have clear goals. Unlike private companies, which have a clear underlying goal: make as much profit as possible within the law.

The government on the other hand does not and can not have such a clear, underlying mission because the government does not have a specific purpose, value, or interest it represents.

The government represents the diverse, mass interests of millions of different individuals, each with their own values and goals. These mass values and goals are often schizophrenic and mutually contradictory between groups, within groups, and even within individuals.

There is no way for a government to possibly please all these groups and interests, it is impossible.

****

Let’s illustrate with an issue like poverty.

What is the government’s underlying mission?

Is it to maximize economic freedom whatever poverty may result?

Is it to maximize economic productivity to reduce prices so the poor can better afford goods?

Is it to keep employment high so that the poor can pull themselves up from poverty through hard work?

Is it to keep wages high so workers have a good standard of living keeping them out of poverty?

Is it to provide every individual has a basic standard of living to reduce absolute poverty?

Is it to promote economic equality so there is no relative poverty?

Is it to promote consumption to reduce immediate poverty?

Is it to promote long-term growth to reduce poverty in the future?

All of these goals are contradictory. A goal of freedom is inconsistent with having any other goals. Consumption and long-term growth come at the expense of each other. Economic equality reduces economic productivity. Providing a basic standard of living reduces productivity and the incentive to work. Keeping employment high often means subsidizing unproductive activity. High wages reduces jobs? Etc.

When it comes to poverty issues, whose interests should the government look out for. The poverty industry? Industry and business? Taxpayers? The poor? Unions? The blue collar working-man? And how should they look out for it?

Each of us probably has an answer, but even then for many it would be fairly garbled. For a government official there is no clear answer. There are simply hundreds of competing, contradictory interests and ideologies, each vying for the government to benefit them and do things according to their ideology.

****

Because the government has no mission, the government can not measure progress. For organizations measurement is a necessity for success. A business can know it’s succeeding if its profits are higher than the year before.

The government has no such way to measure success. Using the poverty example above, how would a government measure and define success. The Gini coefficient, GDP, GNP, the unemployment rate, the employment rate, the participation rate, median income, mean income, poverty thresholds?

Each measure of success carries certain ideological implications. GDP per capita and GNP measure productivity. Gini measures equality. Mean and median income both measure differently, the latter more towards equality of income. And so on.

There is no real way for government to measure success that would be acceptable across society.

****

Because each group and individual desires something different from the government the government can not help but fail. If the government implements gun control half the population believes the government is failing, if it does not the other half of the population believes it is.

The government can not succeed because it is impossible for the government to please everyone. It can only choose which groups to fail.

****

Because the government has a mess of contradictory interests rather than clear, consistent goals, its action usually comes out as an irrational muddle somewhere in the middle of people’s interests, rather than anything resembling a consistent plan.

Each successive government has its own agenda, which it only somewhat implements due to politically reality. Each of these agendas is pasted over-top of the previous system and previous agendas. Each interest group influences the agenda to skew it their way.

This leads to government being a confused, unfocused mess with no real goal to strive towards.

****

Reason #1 the government fails is a lack of a mission.

The Gods of the Copybook Heading

Kipling is by far my favourite poet. Richard Anderson recently posted this poem on bureaucracy, so I’m taking the opportunity to do so as well.

As I pass through my incarnations in every age and race,
I Make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market-Place.
Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market-Place.
But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings.
So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
And the Gods of the Copybook Heading said: “Stick to the Devil you know.”

On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “The Wages of Sin is Death.”

In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “If you don’t work you die.”

Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew,
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four —
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

* * * * *

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man —
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began —
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire —
And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

Kipling: Public Waste

Public Waste

	Walpole talks of "a man and his price."
		List to a ditty queer --
	 The sale of a Deputy-Acting-Vice-
		Resident-Engineer,
	 Bought like a bullock, hoof and hide,
	 By the Little Tin Gods on the Mountain Side.

By the Laws of the Family Circle ’tis written in letters of brass
That only a Colonel from Chatham can manage the Railways of State,
Because of the gold on his breeks, and the subjects wherein he must pass;
Because in all matters that deal not with Railways his knowledge is great.

Now Exeter Battleby Tring had laboured from boyhood to eld
On the Lines of the East and the West, and eke of the North and South;
Many Lines had he built and surveyed — important the posts which he held;
And the Lords of the Iron Horse were dumb when he opened his mouth.

Black as the raven his garb, and his heresies jettier still —
Hinting that Railways required lifetimes of study and knowledge —
Never clanked sword by his side — Vauban he knew not nor drill —
Nor was his name on the list of the men who had passed through the “College.”

Wherefore the Little Tin Gods harried their little tin souls,
Seeing he came not from Chatham, jingled no spurs at his heels,
Knowing that, nevertheless, was he first on the Government rolls
For the billet of “Railway Instructor to Little Tin Gods on Wheels.”

Letters not seldom they wrote him, “having the honour to state,”
It would be better for all men if he were laid on the shelf.
Much would accrue to his bank-book, an he consented to wait
Until the Little Tin Gods built him a berth for himself,

“Special, well paid, and exempt from the Law of the Fifty and Five,
Even to Ninety and Nine” — these were the terms of the pact:
Thus did the Little Tin Gods (lon may Their Highnesses thrive!)
Silence his mouth with rupees, keeping their Circle intact;

Appointing a Colonel from Chatham who managed the Bhamo State Line
(The wich was on mile and one furlong — a guaranteed twenty-inch gauge),
So Exeter Battleby Tring consented his claims to resign,
And died, on four thousand a month, in the ninetieth year of his age!