The Frustration of a Single Man

So this comment appeared over at Dalrock’s. There’s a chance it might be a troll, but I thought it was worth highlighting. In full, bolding mine:

Hello. Is there an introduction board for this website? My name is Michael. I’ve been reading this website for 3 days. I’m shocked to see everything I’ve experiencing written in such a perfectly stated way. Never before have I seen a blog/media outlet so perfectly written. The writer is surely a genius. I’m amazed and relived to see so many responses. It means I’m not alone.

I’m 32 years old and have never been married. Unfortunately (or fortunately I’m not sure which anymore at this point) I have no kids. I am single and alone and not dating anyone. I live in Los Angeles. My income was $120,000.00 (net earnings after creative deductions and business taxes) in 2011. Income is projected to be $170,000.00 (net earnings after business taxes) in 2012. I’m exactly the kinds of “independent man” women claim they want. I drive a luxury car with an amazing apartment in Los Angeles directly on the beach. It’s quite a panty moistener and costs me $6,000.00 per month. I work from home because an office would cost at least another $2,000.00 month. I keep in great shape. Gym 3-4 a week + running + organic diet (I spend $700-$900.00 a month on organic foods and supplements) I was raised in a Christian “7th Heaven” (old TV show) type household. We always went to church. Strong hard working father figure was always present for me and my siblings. I went to private school, university, law school, and then started my own practice at 28 years old.

My parents met and married in college. They have been married for 39 years. And it hurts me to the core to be 32 and unmarried. Alone. Without a loving wife. I feel pain from it every single day. It’s like a sharp invisible dagger constantly stabbing at me. But perhaps I’m part of the problem listed in the graphs above. Let me explain why:

I went to the same college my parents met and married at. I was hoping to meet marry and settle down. Instead I was met with hundreds young college aged women who were NOT interested in marriage. They were interested in: 1) Partying 2) Having sex. College was 24/7 fuck fest. At first I was able to begrudgingly “socialize” in this element. What do I mean by “this element” within this context? College: Extreme social promiscuity, cheating, drama, drugs, and parties. I was an observer but NEVER a direct participant because my heart would not let me. This eventually caused me to stick out as a third wheel observer on campus. Someone who was always “not mixing” or “participating”. As a result I never enjoyed the benefits. I rarely dated. Instead I was sneered at. Cute girls flicked their fingers at me. I was used by women as a person to tell their problems to. I was passed over. I was seen as “weak “lame” and “boring”. I was ignored in the hallways, library, classes, by these women. And it didn’t help I was cash strapped broke working a minimum wage job and eating Raman noodles..

The vast majority of these young hot girls vigorously pursued college life sex like you would not believe. They had sex with a large variety of guys. What I personally call “lily padding”. These girls did anything and anyone in the name of “fun” (fun=parties, fun= sex with new people, fun= drugs, fun= raves, fun = frat party etc.

It hurt me to watch these girls go out of their way to pursue and spread their legs for complete losers. COMPLETE LOSERS. I’m talking: Hi I work in a carnival part time, I’m covered in tattoos, I have no job, I failed my minimum wage drug test and I’m in a band. These guys were losers. Some did not even go to the college! They would hop a bus stay with friends and get laid THAT NIGHT.

Many nights I could not sleep because of the girls getting fucked hard… 1,2,3,4 dorms down. The dorms were old military barracks from the 1940’s with vents through the ceilings. It was very loud. All the time. I remember how much it hurt to be rejected by one girl in particular I had my open hopeless romantic heart set on… We had allot in common. I pursued her like a complete gentlemen – and was eventually turned down. That same weekend after getting turned down I got to hear her getting fucked hard and loud in the room next door. The guy who lived there was a super scraggly unattractive heavy drug user covered in tattoos majoring in “music studies”. This girl was young hot thin beautiful in her physical prime. I never said anything. But I felt so hurt she turned me down for casual sex with a guy like that.
This guy was very open about his exploits with her and told me not to worry because practically every guy he knew fucked her. As the years passed the same thing happened again and again, and again and again, in various ways with all kinds of unrelated girls. What I mean is: I was looking for a LTR leading to marriage. I would meet trade numbers talk and “feel” a girl was a good person. Then she would do other guys. Or I would find out things like this. When this kind of thing happens to me over and over all through my life….it hurts me and makes me doubt senses. What is wrong with me that my heart is telling me she is a good person when she is clearly not?

As time went on I was labeled “husband material” by the girls on my campus. This phrase continued to plague me into my late 20′s. This label resulted in ZERO DATES all through college. I wasn’t “down with it”. I wasn’t “participating” etc (sex, drugs, parties, etc.) My heart wasn’t into it. So I wasn’t entitled to any of the benefits (having sex with young attractive girls in their prime etc.). However party guys, flash in a pan athletes, loser guys in bands, wanna be DJ’s and self-professed “club promoters” – were ALWAYS getting these girls at their youngest hottest physical prime. Basically the more of a loser the guy was… the more these women would have sex with them. Hot sorority girls flocked to Football players like a butterfly’s on a beast. It didn’t even matter if the guy was black. College athletes did not even TRY to get laid.

One night I had enough. I confronted a room of 8-10 gorgeous white girls. These girls were 18-24 years old. I asked them if they planned to get married. All seemed to say more or less – YES. I asked what their future husband would think about their behavior. I was immediately met with hostility. I was told the future husband would “never know” and “it’s none of his business”. The girls said they knew exactly what they were doing and were planning to “have their fun” (fun= partying, fun=sex, fun=going on spring break etc.) and would “settle down later”. I asked: when are you planning to settle down? They said: “It depends” and “probably around 27, 28” or “maybe sooner it depends”. I really put the girls on the spot. During our exchange they saw I was upset. They told me I should be happy because “nice guys finish first in the end”. I told them you cannot have your cake and eat it to. Then I was told by Kaylene (a young thin super sexy blonde with curves in all the right places (who BTW refused to date me even though we were friends and according to her roommate had sex with almost 30 guys in one semester ) she told me “Michael let me tell you something: not only am I going to have my cake eat it and eat it too. I’m going to have it with ice cream and sprinkles”. All of the girls laughed and smiled in agreement.

I thought things would change after college. They didn’t.

Now at 32 and successful these women are hitting me. In my mind these are the same women who rejected me. I’m not interested. The Bible says something to the effect of “don’t forsake the wife of your youth” or something like “remember your young wife”? Something like that. How am I supposed to remember something I never had? I have no history with these women. Ticking ovaries are scandalous. They will lie and say anything to get what they want. Which is: BABIES AND A LOVING HUSBAND TO PAY THEIR BILLS. Yet these women did not even give a few good years of their youth!

As a man I am very visual. God made me this way. I cannot help finding a physically beautiful woman attractive. Why did these women not at least give me a few years of their youth so I would have time to fall in love with them and permanently burn their image in my mind’s eye? I need something to remember when we are 50 and married. Yet she spent her 20’s parceling herself out to guys who gave her nothing and offers nothing to the guy who gives her everything. I’m expected to commit hard earned resources to raising children with what is ultimately a suspect woman whose history I know nothing about. A 30+ unmarried women has very high chance of having a questionable past and baggage. I believe the more men a woman has been with the less likely she is to be emotionally committed each subsequent one. When you have handed out little pieces of your heart over years to dozens of different men what is left for the husband you proclaim to truly love? What value do the words “I love you” mean when she has stared into the eyes of 10-100+ different men and said the same thing?

At 30+ women’s physical appearance has nowhere to go but DOWN. Is this what women mean by “saving the best for last”? Marrying at 30+? How can women spend trillions of dollars a year on beauty products yet at the same time claim a women’s age “shouldn’t be important” to a man? And what about children? Did they ever think their husbands might want to have children? What’s more likely to naturally produce a quicker pregnancy and healthy offspring? A fertile 24 year old in her physical prime… or a 35 year old aging womb? What if I want multiple children? At 30+ a women can easily before infertile after her first pregnancy.
As a result of everything I’ve seen and experienced in my life I would like to make an announcement to all the desperate 30+ year old women out there: I would rather suffocate and die then spend my hard earned income, love, trust, and substance on you. Your entitled, ageing, feminist, jaded, baggage laden and brainwashed. And if I cannot marry a women in her 20’s I REFUSE TO EVER GET MARRIED. Given my high income this should not be a problem. However I’m concerned at some point I will have to start looking overseas (Ukraine, Russia, Eastern Europe etc.). I’m not going to marry one of these 30+ ageing entitled females who clearly have an agenda of their own. I intend to get married once. Marriage is meant to be forever. I will not be a starter husband for one of these used up women. I can’t tell you the number of men I’ve known who married late and were rewarded by losing everything they spent their lives building…

The way I see it I’ve been given the following choices:

1) Marry a 30+ women.
2) Marry a women in her twenties
3) Be single and enjoy my money.

This is (barring it being a troll) the plaintive cry of a beta Christian male without game whose running head-first into his red pill awakening. He’s been trained to live a certain way, then when what he realizes the disconnect between the lies he’s been taught and reality he letting loose his anger. I kinda sympathize.

Anyhow, Michael, if you happen to see this, do either #2 or #3. Do not do #1, I’ve outlined why here.

First thing to notice: these women are actively and with foreknowledge planning to engage fraudulently marry a beta provider in their 30s. I will repeat for anyone who didn’t read the link: do not marry a women over 30 (unless you are also a new divorcee or widow and much older). There’s a reason they are in their 30’s and unmarried and it always bodes poorly for the potential success of a long-term partnership.

Now some might think it unfair to blame all women in their 30s for the actions and intention of a few, but every women in their 30s did a similar sort of calculation in their 20s of why they chose to wait to marry. They would have their fun, their career, their education, their ******, and prioritize it over their future husband and family. That was their choice; all 30-something women made the choice to prioritize something ahead of their future husband and family and can be judged for these choices.

Others might think its sexist to discount a women in her 30s for marriage. That would be incorrect. It’s about choices: males have a very clear and very well known preference for younger women (even aside from the numerous other considerations I outlined earlier). Females are free to make their own choices about their sexuality, but men are also free to make their own choices. If you don’t like that than either change your behaviour, or fuck you. Your choice.

This objection would also be sexist in itself, by trying to force female sexual preferences on males while dictating male sexuality to them.

I will join Michael here: there is no way I am wasting a drop of sweat or a single penny on an unmarried 30-something; they simply are not worth it. I would rather go without.

They made their choice to deprive their future husband of their prime, sexiest, and most fertile years and, in many cases, chose to gave them to losers, cads, and assholes. They willingly squandered their youth, beauty, charm, sexuality, and fertility. Having made that selfish choice, it is very simple to say they are not worth marrying. They have put their own happiness above that of the person they will later profess to loving. Someone who puts themselves before their marriage partner, is not a good marriage partner.

It is far better to be alone than to be stuck with one of these women.

If that offends you as a women, too bad.

Instead of being offended, you should ask yourself why you choose to deprive your future husband (who you supposedly love) of your most youthful years, your most fertile years, your years where your beauty and sexiness were at your height. What was more important than offering this gift to the person you are professing to love before any other?

Again, I’m not trying to control women’s sexuality here. Women are free to make whatever choice they want, but so am I and so is every other male.

So, males, make the right choice: no rings for 30+ women.

Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
(Proverbs 5:18-19 ESV)


  1. Come to silicon valley and see the capital of the world for this sort of thing. Due to successful men vastly outnumbering eligible women, they can in fact have their cake with sprinkles and ice cream and eat it too. You can’t fight demographics. The only way this will change is to start importing enough women to counteract this behavior. But we live in a democracy. Since women make up 50% of the population and will always have some 5-10% of clueless betas jumping to their bidding what they say goes.

  2. @Ladyhoshi: Because he is nice and nice == boring.

    @ivanovich. Yeah. Right. Most of the geeks want that small part of the female population that is really intelligent.

    @anysinglewomanover35: I’d strongly advise the men your age to look at women ten years younger where they are, right now, at peak marriageability (I was married by then). You are looking at men 20 years older now, frequently divorced, frequently paying child support because you now have equivalent marital value to a 40 — 55 divorced male. The alternatives are sapphism and / or cats.

    And this 52 year old solo dad is quite careful, very fussy, and is looking for a woman who refused to play the games Michael described.

  3. >Most of the geeks want that small part of the female population that is really intelligent.

    This id a defense mechanism for why they are alone. Trust me I see it first hand daily.

  4. Awesome post. I doubt he’s a troll; Dalrock attracts some of the smartest some of the smartest people in cyberspace. I’m going to stash this post and hand it out to trolls.

  5. This dude needs to read “The Mystery Method.” And as for his take on women, well, the modern American woman is a stupid whore. There it is. And we all know it.

  6. The problem was not that the guy was nice, it was that he was not aggressive.

    Fact: people do have relationships in college. It’s also a fact that a lot of them begin as one night stands. It may suck, but it’s true.

    Basic problem, aside from the slutty nature of modern young women, is that the dude didn’t and doesn’t have any game.

  7. “Instead of being offended, you should ask yourself why you choose to deprive your future husband (who you supposedly love) of your most youthful years, your most fertile years, your years where your beauty and sexiness were at your height. ”

    Fact is, the amount of unsuitable partners in the population is unfortunately very high and finding someone decent is quite unlikely — and it also takes time to vet someone properly. Lots of people will never ever be part of a pair bond — the feminists have destroyed the family that teaches humans how to be a spouse and how to raise children — this is an 18-year apprenticeship, humans sadly don’t do instinct and hence, the epic social incompetence everywhere.

    So, it’s not surprising that many good people end up alone or making a bad choice by way of compromise.

    The other thing people overlook is that humans mature to a certain timescale. An old codger will not fulfil a whippersnapper, no matter what the gender — they may be infatuated, but, couples like that will never be peers.

    So, if you’re 35, then your age range unfortunately is 30-40 — not 20 or 50. In fact, if someone wants to woo you who isn’t your age, beware, those people tend to have ‘issues’.

  8. This is actually a good man. An old WASP clean cut type guy. We need more of them in society. Therefore we need to structure society around selecting for them. To do this we need to have the courage to destroy silly notions of “choice” and “freedom” and all of this silliness we’ve had pounded into our heads in school.

    “Michael let me tell you something: not only am I going to have my cake eat it and eat it too. I’m going to have it with ice cream and sprinkles”. All of the girls laughed and smiled in agreement.

    This statement (which probably didn’t come true) is exactly why women are not equal and don;t deserve to choose anything. This is why men in the past restricted their daughters and wives openly and unapologetically w/o having to revert the underhanded tactics to trick them into doing his will. Guys like this need a society of open dominance. Period. Anything short of this is a bandage.

  9. Ladyhoshi says:
    “How are men like this even single? What is wrong with women…”

    What’s wrong is the previous generation of men allowed them “liberation.” 50 years has proven they don’t understand it, can’t handle it, didn’t earn it and certainly don’t deserve it. “Liberation” undoes civilization.

  10. This guy obviously comes from traditional Christian morals, and I respect and understand his stance, as I come from the same background.

    No rings for sluts went without saying, as his standards prevent him from ever trusting such with even a chaste relationship.

    Hang in there, man. Your faith protected your from a world of hurt, and the destruction wayward women cause. Check Proverbs, you did well. God will continue to look out for you, and will provide for your needs. Few women have chosen the path you chose, and likely your business prevented you from finding many opportunities to meet likely prospects.

    Yes, the loneliness hurts. Don’t give in to despair. Women sense bitterness, and it will make you unattractive to them. The only times I had any luck with them are the times I took a good look in the mirror and shook it off as a pointless memory. Face life firmly, look your choices in the eye without fear, and trust God.

    A better location may increase the possibility of finding a decent woman, but you will be stuck with yourself wherever you are. Make yourself ready, or you may need to wait even longer.

  11. @ Asafoetida: I wrote about that objection here.

    The simple fact is women (or at least moderately attractive women) have a large amount of relationship opportunities handed to them in their late teens/early 20s. If they are single, it is not because there was not a suitable partner, there was, it was because they either chose not to or their standards of “suitable” were grossly unrealistic.

    As for your age comment, that’s plain wrong. It has always been standard practice for an older more established man to marry a younger, more fertile women. It works. Anyone desiring this does not have “issues”, they are simply normal, well-functioning humans. The only reason there is any objection to it, is because feminists and older females have created a weird objection to differently aged couples so they could slut it up in their 20s or divorce in their 40s, then not have to deal with competition from younger cohorts when they want to (re)marry.

    @ everyone else: good comments y’all. Keep ’em coming.

  12. This sounds like something I heard in Uni (in the UK) several years back from one of my female housemates (who was not even that attractive, maybe a 4-5), who made a remark that I was ‘marriage material’. When she said this one of the other female housemates sniggered behind her, like she knew how audaciously insulting such a label was. (The other female, a 6, had already ‘bagged’ her future husband, who was unfortunately imbibed with the ‘play the idiot’ meme, thus making him malleable and averse to critical thinking, which is an attribute a man needs if he is to deal/manage women effectively).

    Women on the whole view men as chattels to be used: either cash-cows, sex partners, physical defence against other humans, or technicians to keep their world running; unfortunately the guy in your post was viewed as a cash-cow. The good news for him is that he did wake up before being shackled to a woman who had already given away her best years.

  13. Man, it’s stories like this that make me glad to be single. Recently I’ve gotten a lot of flak for being 27 and ‘single’ for 2+ years now – especially with my younger brother engaged to some harlot. Luckily for me, the answer to “Why are you still single?” happens to now come naturally as a cocky, “Show me a reason not to be.”

    Hamsters go on overdrive.

  14. “If they are single, it is not because there was not a suitable partner, there was, it was because they either chose not to or their standards of “suitable” were grossly unrealistic.”

    4 generations of feminism have not exactly produced a plethora of well-balanced traditional men who are equipped to head a heteronormative family and deal with non-feminist women, in fact, most young men are feminists or equalitarians who have been brainwashed into despising our civilisation. In other words, they are just as unhinged and difficult as the young women that feminism produced — this is what you reap when you sow anti-autoritarianism and tolerate gendermainstreaming.

    I wish it was only the women who are broken — that would easily be fixable, the men being sabotaged and not bouncing back to normality is far more serious.


    I don’t understand why you think that an age mismatch is desirable for the man. An old man marrying a young women is always a ‘deal’ — it never happens when the dude is a broke nobody, which tells you all you need to know about the true nature of this undertaking. Also note that a lot of the people who fall for this kind of game end up out of house and pension, courtesy of our Western divorce laws.

    As an aside, the idea that a man need to mature and wait his turn before he is old enough to be eligible for a wife is pretty naff concept that suggests that young men are useless and not worth considering as full adults. And it tends to come about in societies that cull a large amount of men in wars, leaving the old guys to pick up the widows and ‘spares’ — or in societies that price young men out of marriage. It never is a healthy signal.

  15. @ Luther: It’s a sad indictment on society when “husband material” or “wife material” can be considered insulting.

    @ Leap: Remaining single has become an increasingly attractive option.

    @ Asa: True, there are too many unbalanced men without chests nowadays, but any women presenting herself as wife material should still have little problem finding a traditional man to raise a family with.

    Up until the last century or two, marriage was an economic transaction where the primary focus was on raising kids properly and continuing the family line. I have no problems with that; it’s a stable workable system. The adoption of the romantic notion of marriage for “love” is one of the major causes of the downfall of marriage.

    You can’t have a society where all young women marry older men, but men usually have a higher death rate, so there’s nothing wrong with some older men marrying some younger men. There’s nothing unhealthy with it in proper moderation on societal level and nothing unhealthy with it at all on an individual level.

  16. I disagree – there are plenty of college females who don’t do any of these things and have a hard time finding a relationship because they DONT become sluts or engage in casual sex. If you are a virgin after you leave college, you have to overcome INSANE amounts of prejudice.

    A lot of the comments here are saying “American women are whores; feminism has destroyed marriages” What is this shit in the comments? Its insane.
    –> Women have just as many values as men do. Women engage in sex and men do, too. I have not read one thing from any of you about all the men who engage in sex during college. You can’t ignore them and vilify the women who have sex. Also, I’m pretty sure a college female has not had sex with 100 people (-.-) like seriously, is it really a big deal for you if a woman has had sex with 1-2 people? Sure, there are whores, there are people who have had limited sex, and there are virgins.

    To the original post: Don’t rule out woman just bc they are 30 yrs old – it just doesn’t make any sense. You don’t know anything about her. You’re plain assuming she was a whore in college. I mean if she could get guys in college, I’m sure she could have found a guy to settle down with. Some people are just not aggressive, they take longer to find out who they are, or they have unrealistic standards. But assuming that a woman is a whore just because she is single at age 30 is possibly the single most ridiculous thing I have ever heard (and trust me, I hear a lot of shit). I think the reason you’re single is 1. Confidence 2. You’re assumptions make you judgmental.

    And this whole argument about “women should give their best years to their future husband” — what future husband? Its so hard to women to find appropriate men to settle down with. They have to think of their selves, too — be independent, learn, not be tied down, travel, have relationships, fulfill themselves — I’m not saying they have to be whore, but you can have a meaningful relationship with anyone at any age (if you want to have your own kids, then obviously you don’t want to marry a menopausal woman). I mean are you seriously saying women should do everything in anticipation of a guy they’ve never met and might not even meet until after their “peak marriageable age” (which is a term you use, not me). Do guys do everything in anticipation of a woman they’ve never met? No.

    Lastly, in response to “Up until the last century or two, marriage was an economic transaction where the primary focus was on raising kids properly and continuing the family line. I have no problems with that; it’s a stable workable system. The adoption of the romantic notion of marriage for “love” is one of the major causes of the downfall of marriage.”
    –> You all seem to think divorce is the worst thing. But in fact it can be positive because it can be liberating. People did it less because women had less options. Up until the last century or two, marriage was not equal — it was between a man and a woman, woman being a servant not an equal human being. Do you actually think people didn’t divorce because they had happy marriages not “tainted by today’s feminism”? No – they had just as unhappy marriages as couples do today.

  17. @ CS: Why do I care about what men do?

    I’m not looking for marry a man. I’m also not giving advice to gays or women. I’m giving advice to young, straight males.

    It is a big deal, because the first pre-marital partner for a female leads to an increase of about 10-20% chance of divorce, the second also leads to a large increase. If you marry a women who’s had sex with someone, you are greatly increasing your chances of divorce rape.

    I’m not assuming she’s a whore. I’m assuming she’s made choices that led to her not being married at 30. Those choices, whatever they may be, indicate that she is not a good prospect for marriage. It’s that simple.

    If women value marriage, they should put the effort into making it successful. If they are not putting in the effort, they do not value it. If they do not value it, marrying them is a bad idea. It’s about choices.

    I know why I’m single: I’m a socially awkward nerd. I’ve been working on becoming less so, but I am naturally maladapted to the type of initial social interactions which lead to relationships. Those women who I would have been able to marry, where of insufficient quality. I prefer to stay single than marry any of them. Leave your pop-psych out of it.

    Divorce, along with its related problem single motherhood, is the single worst social problem in North America. They are at the root of every single major social problem we face: poverty, drugs, crime, teenage pregnancy, depression, etc. There is nothing worse in contemporary North American society than the breakdown of the family.

    As for happiness, men’s happiness has stayed roughly the same over the last 50 years or so. Since the advent of feminism, women’s happiness has steadily decreased. Modern society is making women unhappy.

  18. ^ I believe modern society is making everyone unhappy, hence its demise. People don’t want to sustain something that is overbearing. There’s just too much complexity, too many wants, and too fine of a criteria to meet.

    All while this is happening, you have perverse media telling us (from childhood basically) to have sex, to dabble in promiscuity… and it’s simply demolishing morale.

  19. Life as we have known it (or those before us knew it) is over. Natural life and existence is now considered obsolete.

    Get ready for the (real) machines.

  20. Michael I relate to the same shiit but im 30 but very similar lifestyle but I am a muslim born raised with morals and values same as you.

  21. I feel your pain dude. Trust me it isn’t easy. I studied very hard to become an Engineer and will be augmenting that career with a Pepperdine MBA. Not making the coin you are yet, but it will come and I spend effort taking care of myself too. I know that stinging pain (more like anger) and the constant question of; “why did I work very hard to be the good man that I am”. I think it’s a sickness in our culture, which is generational and an aftershock of feminism, and our dwindling appreciation for the fruits of honesty and hard work. However, I don’t think it is permanent and I think most women will come around. I just don’t want them after they have gotten fat, divorced and have a couple kids in tow from a “bad boy”. That would just be an insult to hard work and manhood. Ranting I know. Just want to let you know that there are other men who are asking the same questions.

  22. First off 120k is not a lot of money. You are by no means rich. Second, you repeatedly mention how you are into gorgeous women, good looking girls tend to like good looking guys. You are probably not as handsome as you perceive yourself to be. Third, you seem to be very religious, you should think about meeting other Christians. I personally know of a woman who stayed a virgin until she got married at age 31. There are people out here wait for sex after marriage, you are not hanging out with the right crowd. I don’t see any hope for you unless you marry a like minded Christian. A beautiful girl in her 20’s doesn’t want a 30 something guy unless he’s mega rich, which you are not.

  23. Wow, I had no idea girls in college (what in canada?) were that wild and you are quite right, they made their choice to be promiscious. What is worse is that they made fun of you. Granted they were young and naive, however if they don’t even learn that after they get older, then again you are quite right, she cannont be trusted.
    However I don’t agree they should be treated with so much disrespect. I can imagine that those so called losers would probably resort to aggression or worse if they don’t get their girl or girls or have to pay for sex.
    It really just means that a great cultural shift in colleges is probably required.
    Also in many advanced economies, there are many men and women like you. I mean I don’t even earn as much as you and my circumstances are quite different but am single, lonely and in my 30’s.
    I’ve looked at the many different european(mainly ukraine) dating websites and to be honest they do appear geniune. And I firmly believe many of these ladies are the mommies-girl type and some well educated. Education is not really important so as long as she has done here high school equivalent and willing to proceed further. And damn are they good looking. The only downside is that you may have to fly there to meet them. I guess I should stop it right here as I don’t want to appear to be advocating for any of these sites.
    However I am personally getting a quite desperate and the solution may only be overseas and maybe so should you.

  24. Perhaps believing your car and your salary are you greatest assets are part of your problem. The way you refer to women is pretty frightening, too. As a mother (who has been married to the same man for almost 30 years) I would be very concerned if my daughter dated you. You’re not marriage material at this point. You need to stop viewing women as possessions and stop worrying so much about looks. Your description of a mate sounds like something you’d find on a professional dog breeding site. I’m surprised you didn’t mention strong teeth…or did you?

  25. Personally, I won’t date a man under 35. Over 40 is better. Men under 35 are umarriageable for a variety of reasons (immaturity being the top reason). While a man’s looks and sexual desire decline in middle age, one has the great opportunity of being able to see if he is happy with his career and can provide for himself, things that cannot be assessed when he is in his 20s or early 30s. 40+ men are the way to go.

    Also, “manosphere” men are poor dating material. They are usually extremely insecure, unattractive, bitter and narcissistic. Their own behavior on the Internet reveals them to be dangerous at times, with vicious rhetoric against women and suffering from jealousy towards men who are even modestly successful with women. Freud posited that the narcissist is really a victim of self-hatred; so the “manosphere” type projects his self-hatred onto women, forming unattainable standards and convincing himself that he “deserves” them. Fortunately, it seems as though “manosphere” types never marry or procreate. Their mental state makes them unsuitable for raising children or providing for a family. God bless society for keeping these individuals confined to the Internet where they belong, whining with all the other miserable bloggers.

  26. hello, a voice from Eastern Europe here – same things are happening, girls are arrogant and declaring explicite plans to “have and eat theirs cake with ice cream”, all i ever wanted is family and now it seems i would be a fool to have one, i wish i was born earlier.

  27. If you’re still in the same boat today I completely understand you. I am single. I’m not sure why except that God knows best and I must wait in the man He intends for me and is preparing me for. Anyway I hope you find your love if you already have not. God willing.

  28. Um…what about a woman in her late-20s who never went on this horrible “ritual”? Say, someone who never understood what she wanted and therefore didn’t dare to make the mistake of running with the crowd by sleeping around, but stood back and tried to figure out what she is looking for.

    I never had much confidence around men (even now, I have to seriously force myself to approach anyone who I like, and that is too much for my nerves if I do so for long). That and…I never had much confidence in selecting a man to marry, because let’s face it…dating is to find a romantic partner, and I preferred one for life even back ‘in my early 20s and before. Problem is, I had no helluva clue how to select a guy for me without worrying if my standards were right and if I had the right judgment. So I waited and buried myself…in books and the library and everything career and hobby/interest related. My social skills are okay one-on-one, but still makes me too nervous to approach anyone in a crowd or in any public place without knowing or being extremely comfortable/familiar with them already.

    Not to mention…I was traumatized once when I was 18, and that realization that someone could force me and threaten me made any desire for physical intimacy moot for all these years, if the paranoia surrounding making mistakes in finding a right guy didn’t do that already. The hookup culture also didn’t help matters, now that I think about it. Seeing all this drama and so forth makes me want to stay away, and wonder if I should be celibate. How does psychological trauma affect bonding and being able to stay in a marriage? Would it be a problem for me even if I find someone who fits me well and who I am satisfied with?

    Um, in a case like mine, what would you advocate? My prime and youth are spent on books and in the hallways of the library burying my face in novels, non-fiction and whatnot. Or over papers or alongside blackboards with problems to prepare for midterms (I’m a STEM girl, so I pretty much had the luck to miss out and got to stay in a place where everyone was interested in having several all-nighters with board problems instead of whatever drama, which made me feel far safer).

    What should I do? As it is driving me nuts because of how much I have delayed this decision in favor of books and work and interests/hobbies and careers, I figured out now that, despite being approached, I find that I cannot decide on who I should pick as a future husband. How do I correct this?

  29. Micheal , what kind of women you need can easily find in Muslim community as their girls are according to your’s choice.they have neat and clean youth

  30. Hi Michael,

    I can emphasize as I felt the same way. Women like to use terms like “men are immature” if we mind their promiscuous ways in their prime.

    Hang on there, don’t settle for anything less.

  31. It is very hard for many of us Good men out there looking for Love now that so many women are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, and very money hungry today. And years ago it certainly would’ve been much Easier finding a Good woman to settle down with when the Good old fashioned women were around. Many women nowadays that have their Careers will Never go with a man that makes much less Money than they do.

  32. Not all women are high maintenance or looking just to hook up with a man for money. Your post is true, I’ve been to university and seen men do exactly what you mentioned these women do, but am rather disgusted with you telling men not to marry women 30+. There are many women 30+ who are not married, not because they don’t want to or they’re too busy spreading their legs, but because they are trusting God with their future and waiting for the right man God has chosen for their life! You quote the Bible well, but I doubt you know the real meaning. Have you forgotten to “wait patiently on the Lord” and he will give you the desires of your heart. You glorify yourself as someone that “any” woman would want, but by what you wrote, I can tell you’re desperate and your narcissistic way of portraying yourself could be a reason on why you aren’t married !! If you want to find a wife, then look for one in the right places and believe me, not all men are physically attracted to woman!! I think you are looking for the wrong woman if you simply look at the she’ll and not the inside! Read proverbs 31 on the virtuous woman, and Ecclesiastes says that beauty is fleeting. Any godly man knows that He should not look at the physical appearance. When David was chosen to be king, God looked at his heart and not his appearance! A good woman will hard to get, but worth the effort!

  33. My my, what a long string of blowhard comments, with a few sensible people, a handful of imbecilic harlots, and a gaggle of dunces throwing their delusional or pig ignorant opinions at a troubled and suffering soul. Not to mention a few dipshits going on about God and the bible and that age-old bullshit mantra “Have you forgotten to “wait patiently on the Lord” and he will give you the desires of your heart”.

    Yeah. Well, Michael, and all the rest of you in his situation; as you probably have learned by now, all of society is crumbling, and certain people affiliated with certain groups are primarily responsible for causing its demise. Worse still, there are hundreds of millions of dumb goyim who are rushing straight into their schemes, not at all concerned with the deterioration of society and pursuing hedonism above all else.

    This cannot be altered. It is prophesied. It has been prophesied in the Bible thousands of years ago, by both God’s prophets and by apostles, and described even in the book of Revelation. All these troubles you and others like you now face; they will only get worse. Society will get worse, much, much worse, and the world as well. It will inevitably lead into utter annihilation, worldwide catastrophe, and divine wrath and judgment.

    Women are utterly devoid of sense outside of God’s wisdom and discernment. Most of the world has rejected God, and have reprobate minds. Even among the hundreds of millions who claim to serve Jesus, most are proving themselves reprobate and worthless. It is the end times, and we all had the grave misfortune of being cursed to live in such times. But the rewards for perseverance here will be greater than in all the times before. It is indeed troubling, seeing so many promising wives and mothers instead spit on the harmonic future God chose for them, and choose to live as Satan’s whores, sluts and worthless rabble. But they will all receive their hellish reward in due time, they will all burn forever as they richly deserve.

    I am 28 years old. I am 6’4, broad shoulders, white skin, blonde hair, green eyes, genius intelligence, relatively handsome I suppose, hardworking, courageous, military vet, faithful, a true friend. I have served as a prophet of God all my life, and I have been married to the Lord about as long. If I wanted to pursue sex, I could easily whore myself out; once you understand the mind of idiot women, it is simple to “game” them and sleep around in this perverse society. After all, I have lived in California, Los Angeles County actually, like yourself; there are more immoral and loose women here than most other places.

    Yet I have remained a virgin, and even reserved my first kiss long ago, for my wedding day. I see worthless whoremongers and whores getting married, supposed Christian women marrying pagans and atheists, or divorced men who are not allowed to remarry. All is hedonism and immorality, lovers of pleasure and of themselves, they choose to pursue what “feels good” rather than what is truly good, healthy, stable, sensible, practical, and right. They whore themselves out from an early age, and they almost always manage to snag some maggot beta males who will provide them with their every desire even after living as whores during their teens and twenties.

    Even among “Christian” women, this is the case. If we were to follow the bullshit mantra of your average brainwashed church-goer, then I should be among the most desirable men in the world, as I have lived a righteous and pure life, with great devotion to God, desirable physical qualities (even youthful genes) and highly desirable spiritual qualities. Yet, I am continuously rejected.

    I have two standards when it comes to girls. One, that they are genuine Christians, and two, that they are also virgins. Seems reasonable enough; I don’t ask anymore than what I have done myself, and these standards are what God recommended to me. *badumtss* And therein lies the joke. Marriage and family was always designed for older men and younger women, teenage girls primarily. Among Christians this used to be considered the “norm” for thousands of years, but as before, all is vain and immoral now, all has fallen apart and the world itself is dying.

    I’m not going to whore myself out, and marrying an older woman is impractical; even marrying a mid-20s girl (aka a spinster) is impractical. Either I find myself a sensible young girl who hasn’t become a whore and takes her service to God seriously, or I’m damned to be single for life, virgin to death. In which case I’d rather not live very long.

    All I can offer you is this; you are living at the end of the world, at the cusp of everyone’s doom, and slowly but surely, it is all unraveling. Being single for life is definitely worse than being married, and the fate we have been given is cruel and unfair. Even if you pray to God and ask for a wife that isn’t a whore, He probably won’t give you one. Maybe He had one planned for you, but she’s probably turned into a whore and fucked up His plans for you and her. The same can be said of many others; even of myself.

    Better to be single to God, than single and godless. A time is coming when the lives, joys, happiness, and vanity of whores (both male and female) will come to an end forever, and they will get what they richly deserve. At the end of this world and society, I look to the far superior and moral society the Lord Jesus will create when He returns; and, once again, there will be proper marriage like there used to be.

    But until that time, we’re all fucked. Turn your heart to Jesus and start considering your eternal future, because being single will soon be the least of your problems, the least of everyone’s problems. I guarantee it.

  34. What a completely rude, entitled, heartless, cold, and cruel post, both from the initial writer, and the author of this blog.

    Not EVERY good looking woman who is in her 30’s had promiscuous sex like a rabbit and did all those things you described. I married my high school sweetheart and built businesses with him from high school, through out my college days, and until we became really successful, when he left me and our marriage and became super promiscuous once he started to get attention after we became wealthy and our company received acclaim.

    I dated a few guys a couple years after he left me right as the divorce (which was happening against my will) was becoming finalized. By this point, he had been living with my replacement for 1.5+ years.

    I was completely heart broken. I did not want to move on but he told me to.

    A couple years later, I met someone who I thought had the same values as me- chaste, loved God, a faithful man, good hearted.

    We married, and it turns out HE couldn’t be faithful. He blamed me, and when he found out that I had dated some guys after my first husband left, he became exceedingly jealous that I had been with even one other man. Please note, I had never been promiscuous- every guy I dated, and it wasn’t a lot, I was pursuing relationship with. I didn’t party, never went clubbing, never did anything in my past as described by the blog poster above. But my second husband became enraged upon hearing I had sex with anyone at all. He insisted I was a promiscuous slut, called me horrible names, and after writing and pursuing dates with girls behind my back, walked out on me and divorced me.

    Now he is looking for a twenty something virgin.

    I was a good, faithful woman. In high school and in college, I was faithful to my relationship with my high school sweetheart and husband. My first husband and I went through some rocky times and had problems, but never was I the pretty girl screwing a bunch of guys. I was the pretty girl who was in monogamous relationship and committed to my man.

    I don’t know what happened to my second husband in his life for him to have such hate against me. He kept talking about promiscuous girls that sleep with everybody in college (he was in a grad program at an Ivy during our marriage). Why would he talk about them? And he would hold their behavior against me. Why? I never did anything those girls did.

    Worse, my first husband, the one who DID get a beautiful, intelligent girl who helped him build his dreams (me), left me and is now married to a woman in her twenties, a decade and a half younger than me. That’s what *I* get for *not* screwing around and not behaving like all the other girls.

    All girls in their 30’s DO NOT LIE. I did almost nothing sexually, and yet when I told my second husband, he threw it in my face. (It hurt because he has been with far more people than I ever have.) He actually insisted I did much much more, and insisted that I was lying to him. He insisted any guy friend I had was actually a fuck buddy. (This was insane. I have never had a fuck buddy.) No amount of reasoning would help. I even asked him to call my guy friends- call them, talk to them, ask them about our friendship. I didn’t have anything to hide. The reason people respected me and thought well of me was because I had good character and behaved with virtue and integrity.

    This man who wrote this post sounds very nacsissitic. It doesn’t matter what a *bunch* of girls did or do. He doesn’t need more than *one* woman. There is *at least* one woman out there who is beautiful and intellegent and hasn’t behaved as if a porn star is her idol. I certainly never behaved like those girls, and I know many other girls my age who never have.

    All women don’t deserve his wrath. I certainly don’t.

    While I loved my first husband dearly, it took me a long time to realize that he narcissistically used me, as a trophy to feel good about himself and to build his business. It took me a long time after he left me to realize that he never loved me reciprocally as I loved him. I loved giving to him, doing things to make him happy, but it was not the same with him. He loved taking from me, but cut down my dreams, was cruel and harsh with words, and was consistently asserting how he was better than me.

    But my second husband…. I loved him more than life. He was my dream beyond a dream. I loved his personality, his humor, his intellect, the areas of his gifting (which were also my passion). I just loved being with him, even sitting in silence together. I loved that I thought we shared the same love for God. I loved everything about him… except that he never stopped searching for the perfect wife, even after he married me (big problem), and his extreme jealousy, despite the fact that I was completely madly in love with him and was an open book and faihhtful through and through.

    I was ok being single before I met him. I was not looking. I was living chaste and being a good steward of my life and developing myself and living in faithful relationship with God. I didn’t marry him because I felt I needed a husband or didn’t want to be single.

    I married him because I deeply, truly loved him. I dated him because I knew he was my life partner from the very start. I was not looking for sex or hooking up or just to be coupled. I wanted life partnership with someone suited and complementary to me, my true companion.

    The reason this post hurts is not because I would want that poster to consider me. I am not on the market, I am not looking, and despite my second husband having divorced me, I am still wearing my ring and presenting as married.

    He left our marriage, divorced me, over two years ago. Every night, I can’t fall asleep, because it’s like I’m waiting for him to come home. I don’t even live in the same apartment, but it doesn’t matter. Without him, I don’t have a home. He was my home. Being with him was the only time in my life I truly felt like I was home. How he treated me broke my heart. Every night when I go to sleep, I dream of him. Every day when I awaken, I cry. He is not beside me. I don’t want anybody else. I just want him. He was my true companion.

    It is not true that all pretty girls are like those the blog poster storied. Some are faithful and true, noble and good. Some mean their vows, and some mean their “I love you” from the moment they say it. For some, like me, they cannot fill the spot of the person they love with someone else. It doesn’t work like that. Love doesn’t work like that.

    Perhaps I am just a fool. Perhaps I am just unlucky in love, or perhaps God didn’t mean to bless me. I don’t know. I just don’t want anybody else. I guess I am just old fashioned.

  35. Faithful4life ,

    You sound like a fantastic catch. You need to learn to love yourself again. Only then will you find a better partner who truly values you for who you are. You won’t attract a quality man being hung up on those losers. And by the sounds of it you need to improve the way you pick mates because these men were not worthy of your loyalty (which is commendable).

    There are a lot of men (myself included) who have searched most of their lives to find women like yourself but have failed because the majority of women are not like you. I spent 7 good years with a woman who would eventually go out one weekend and cuck me with two random dudes. People are selfish. All a sign of everything wrong with society. Feminism hasn’t helped society; it’s practically destroyed it. These issues will cause much strife into the future…lonely people, particularly males, cause trouble. Idle time is the devil’s playground.

    Anyway keep your head up and I hope you find yourself. Merry Christmas!

  36. Hi. I’m a 31 year old virgin and I’m an RN, always in school, learning, love life, love my family and my friends, love adventures, thrill type stuff.

    People tell me I’m beautiful. But every guy that ever tried to know me either dropped me or wanted to have sex with me (forget that!) Until I met this guy eight months ago online.

    He’s just like me. He’s 33. He loves life too and kept busy. He’s a virgin. He met my family, we are getting close, but I haven’t let him past a hug and we both know and look forward to the right time, when there will be a start and no finish!!!!!!

    Keep busy. Love life. When a guy/girl comes along, run it by a wise friend /family.
    And pray to God your not making a mistake!!!!

    Quality attracts quality. I say to Michael KEEP GOING AND LOVE LIFE. It’s more than finding another person, and quality is WORTH THE WAIT.

    Also, get out of Los Angeles like I did! Move North. Out of California (shallow environment ESPECIALLY near Hollywood!) in small western towns, people don’t party as much, there’s more old fashioned hard work, there’s nowhere to party!

    A little common sense and if you actually believe it, then God will come THROUGH for you. If not, you’re SOL (shit out of luck, I only swear because there really is no lasting love without this prayer I’ve seen).

    So how desperate are you?

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