This post is specifically for Christians. None of this applies to non-Christians, so please no red pill complaining about the horrors of marriage from non-Christians in the comments.
Every single Christian should ask themselves these 5 questions:
1) Do I burn with lust, passion, or loneliness?
2) Is my lack of a spouse negatively impacting my Christian walk?
3) Am I called to marriage?
4) Do I fornicate, masturbate, look at pornography, or date non-Christians?
5) Would I rather be single for the rest of my life than married to this Christian?
If you, as a single Christian, have answered yes to any of #1, #2, #3, or #4 yet have rejected people to whom the answer to #5 is no: consider why.
Fornication is a big issue for me, because:
(a) I have never slept with a woman, and
(b) I believe women who have n>1 have an issue with pair-bonding.
If you take fornication out from Q4, I’ll not reject the woman whose answer to the four questions is “yes”.
Girl, I burn with lust in my heart. Let’s contain this fire by putting a ring around it. #christianpickuplines
If I meet a Christian girl with N>0, I would consider marrying her if she would agree to let me get my N equal to hers.
“Hey, you got to have your fun, I should get mine”
And I would insist on sex before the wedding. And lots of it. I will not make a sick parody of the honeymoon bed.
@ Jack:
“If I meet a Christian girl with N>0, I would consider marrying her if she would agree to let me get my N equal to hers.
“
“Hey, you got to have your fun, I should get mine”
And I would insist on sex before the wedding. And lots of it. I will not make a sick parody of the honeymoon bed.
You have no idea how much I want to cosign this.
The simple fact of the matter is that any man seriously contemplating a reformed slut for marriage is fully, fully justified in saying “I will not wait for what you freely gave immediately to other men. I will not pay full price for what you freely gave away to other men before me. If you wish for me to consider you for marriage, we will start having lots and lots of enthusiastic sex RIGHT NOW, as much as I want, in any way I want. If you fail to satisfy me, engagement’s off. If you refuse me, engagement’s off. If you will not accommodate me to my satisfaction, engagement’s off.”
Because that’s fair and equitable.
And current society is all about fairness and equity, right?
The thing is, most men will not say anything like that to a reformed slut. INstead, he will be thirsty, and will do anything for her. Wait. Pay full price.
Moreover, he will be forgiving of her past.
I could see this and fully agree with it, if I didn’t think that she would use his forgiveness and forgiving nature against him.
WTF is up with these comments and their excusing of sin?
Look, I can work up some self-righteous antislutrage just like anyone else who haunts this corner of the internet, but “increasing my N to match hers” is a downward road. If “her N is higher” is going to cause problems (and it well might), then the solution is to not marry her, not to engage in sin.
It’s one thing to judge righteously and not join the body of Christ to that which is filthy. It’s quite another to piss on your hands so you can handle shit “safely.”
Jack: Your stance is completely immoral, wrong, and disgusting. It is fine to not marry a woman if she’s not a virgin, but if you do you forgive her for it. You do not hold a grudge against her and you certainly do not profane your marriage with greater sin.
I can’t seem to find it now but I’m fairly sure there’ a verse in the OT that if a man decides to marry a non-virgin, knowing she’s a non-virgin he is to keep her and never divorce her.
Deti: Why on earth would you endorse Jack’s position on this? It’s abhorrent.
If this is the kind of thing you guys post at SSM’s et al. its no wonder the women sometimes get disgusted with you.
The more I think about it, the worse this is. That attitude, that bitterness, is unhealthy and sinful.
You two need to repent of that kind of attitude and make your peace with yourselves and God.
The point is to demonstrate that I see no way to make it work with any girl who has been tramping around.
@Free Northerner
Brings to mind to verses:
Leviticus 19:18
“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD”
Deuteronomy 32:35
Vengeance is mine, and recompense, for the time when their foot shall slip; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and their doom comes swiftly.’
Therefore we shall bear no grudge but leave vengeance to the LORD. However we ourselves are to continue to witness in deeds and words to the gospel. Instead pray for the wellbeing and repentance of your enemies. That god will heap burning coals on their head and cause their repentance for the wrath that awaits them is terrible and eternal.
Yeah, that was the point of my echoing jack. You can’t make it work with a high N woman. Apparently that wasn’t clear.
I have to say Deti, that I was as shocked by your endorsement of Jack’s comment’s as FN was. It was the antithesis of Christian sentiment (not to mention doctrine) in every way.
I should also point out that I reserve that harsh view for the loose Christian girl. I’ll give a lot more latitude to a woman who was raised not knowing better.
I have two missions.
First, to convince as many men as possible to withhold most help and attention from any woman (other than family) who is not reciprocating as either a REAL friend (verrrry rare), or a legitimate girlfriend.
Second, is to ensure that no opportunity is lost in making women fully cognizant of the costs of their bad-boy tingle-seeking ways. There will be no talk of “settling” from any former carousel rider or even the “good girls” who spend 15 years pining for the bad boys (regardless of whether they put out), and “dated Jesus” until they were starting to see The Wall come into view.
I am much more lenient to a woman who gave her youth and beauty to no one, than I am one who had some alpha “place holders” while she waited for beta bux to show up.
I am unafraid to make woman bluntly aware of The Wall and all it entails.
I would even go so far as to tell women (in person) that they better hurry up and trade their last few years of good looks for a wedding ring.
For too long, they have been allowed to delude themselves that a woman who is on the brink of menopause is still somehow a “catch”, ESPECIALLY after giving the best of youth and beauty away for free.
FreeNortherner and Donal are younger men. I wish them much luck in maintaining their views for a couple more decades. I used to sound exactly like them regarding moral principles. I no longer remain so convinced.
As I said on the other thread, I am no longer convinced that premarital sex damages a woman’s heart nearly as much as it damages her pride.
And so, to the non-Christians, I watch the sexual anarchy with a sense of gloating schadenfreude. Nothing more satisfying than watching a haughty woman wind up eating the full harvest of her selfish ways.
My sole remaining action is to deny women my attention or care, and to work to help other men avoid being saddled like mules to provide support for sexually incontinent and feral females.
FreeN and DG-
I hope you never have the experience of trying to pick through the singles market in your late 40s. It’s like being allowed into the brunch buffet around 1:30 in the afternoon.
There’s a visual for ya.
Elspeth:
I already explained why I made the comment I did. Spare the lectures.
I have a great deal of sympathy for both Deti and Jack. It’s easy to get swallowed up in the extreme brokenness of the world and lose all hope. I frequently have. Living in despair tends to wear on you and callous you. It’s tough to be the happy warrior, especially when we’re in a culture that’s dedicated to reminding us we’re losing through every media outlet available every day.
To Jack and Deti I’d say: take heart. Mortals aren’t the final authority on Earth. The powers aligned against us are the most potent in all of human history and armed with the most heinous weapons imaginable, but they still amount to nothing against the power of God. I suggest something more constructive than despair. Try prayer. I don’t mean to come off as a corny baptist holding out my cap and promising if you stick a $20 that Jesus will cure your arthritis. I’m after something different.
How often do you pray, specifically for God to restore virtue and save our civilization? Not long ago, I used to say “a lot.” But I didn’t. I just thought about it. I stewed on it. I grew bitter and I felt powerless I won’t play armchair pscho (analyst), but I think it might be the same for you. When you pray for something, you are actively fighting for something instead of ruminating on it. Here’s an excellent prayer:
I think you’ll find if you commit it to memory (or the Anglican version or some similar prayer) and pray it every time you find yourself confronted with the works of the enemy, be it another article about how homosexual marriage was installed by another court or your divorcee co-worker is discussing her exploits last Friday night in scandalous detail, you will find comfort and you will have done something concrete. The prayers of the righteous are swift and effective (James 5:16).
I’d also encourage you to take up arms and train yourselves in them if at all possible and if you have not already. To ask to be a servant and instrument of God is good, but better to be a sharp instrument than a dull one, though God does find use for the dull.
If this sounds like the impotent shaking of fists and declaring “some day I’ll have mine, then you’ll see!”, it is not. We are not taking heart in false hope, pipe dreams, and imagination. Our hearts, hope, and will are grounded in the immortal covenant of the Word of God.
Deti’s and Jack’s positions are perfectly reasonable, though certainly not Christian.
The Christian approach would be to pray for her soul and her salvation — and if she’s a believer, to consider her a sister in Christ — while at the same time absolutely not having anything to do with her romantically and sexually, since the only rational option [casual fornication] is forbidden.