A Leap Forward

I’ve been occasionally approaching when conditions are right over time, but today I probably pulled the most alpha approach I ever have, and I felt like sharing with somebody who wasn’t there, so here it is. The experienced alphas may not find it all that impressive, but for a former omega like me, this is amazing.

Anyhow, I was out for coffee with a friend and we were discussing my life mission and my general apathy. We were discussing how I should start to ‘just do it’ to meet girls so I can find my wife. He told me to overcome my apathy. So I hesitated, took a drink, hesitated, took a drink, then I overcome my apathy.

There were a few girls sitting together nearby, one of whom was really cute. Earlier I had overheard them talk about something related to church, so I moved.

I walked over cool as ice and just sat down with them. After sitting, began with absolute self-confidence, “Hi, I’m Free Northerner. What’re your names?”

Firm handshakes and each introduces themselves to me.

“I think you’re cute and wanted to meet you.”

Girl: “Thank you.” [smiles].

Girl’s friend: “She gets that a lot. She’s always telling us how she’s always cute, never hot.

“That’s good. Cute’s better than hot. Take it from me.”

“I overheard you discussing [denomination]? Are you a Christian?”

Friend: “You heard that. I could tell; I keep track of things like that.

“Sound tends to travel in this place.”

Girl: “Yes. I go to [church].”

Friend: “Where do you go?


Friend: “Where’s that?

“Near [school].”

“Can I get your phone number?” Take out phone; hand it to her.

Sure.” She puts it in phone. “Your phone’s old I got it wrong and put it in twice. I can’t find the back button.”

Take phone. “Yeah, I I don’t really keep up on phone technology. Your number was ####? You name was [girl], right?”

Yeah.” Finish adding number.

“I’m phoning you. Now you have my number.”

She checks phone. [Not a fake #.]

“I’ll phone you in a while and set up coffee. Good to meet y’all.”

Handshakes to all. Girl occasionally giggling and smiling throughout. Walk back to my friend. Get on jacket, leave shop. Friend is amazed at how alpha I was.

There was a bit more to it, and she talked a bit more, but that’s the jist of it.

About 5 minutes from start to finish. All done the half-smirk/half-smile I often wear; full-tilt, absolute confidence. No hesitation, no stumbling, no hemming and hawing; straightforward and to the point. Controlled the conversation, controlled the frame, never veered off. Direct game, no manipulative BS.

I feel alpha.


  1. Nice. Those good approaches are like jolts of electricity to your life. Even if they don’t always go well, the ones that do tend to leave such a good feeling you can ignore the ones that don’t.

  2. FreeNortherner, what do you think of the concept of arranged marriage? Why do you think it is so many Manospherians are in favor of it despite the fact of not coming from arranged marriage cultures?

  3. “I feel alpha.”

    Translation: I feel like a Man.

    What the manosphere means by “being Alpha” or “Feeling Alpha” really means just feeling like a man. That feeling is how we should always be living our lives, how we should always feel. Unfortunately, our culture has done its best to stamp this feeling out. Congratulations on reclaiming your birthright.

  4. Props man, ballsy move. When you can hold your self together in the situation too, makes it all the more apparent looking back how far it is possible to develop from an initial starting point of beta/omega

  5. Thanks for the encouragement y’all.

    @ donalgraeme: I understand; I could feel the masculine energy coursing through me as I did it. It was nice.

    @ Tim: There’s the rub; I now have to make it a habit.

    @ Lissa, I did like that piece.

    @ yousowould: It sometimes is rather amazing looking back. Me from 5 years ago would never have believed I would ever do something like that.

    @ SSM: Oddly no. I was initially nervous, hence the hesitation, but as soon as I stood up and walked over, all nervousness just disappeared. I tend to be like that. Nervous until I make a decision and/or act, but once moving it sort of flows away.

    @ Tia: I am in favour of arranged marriages in a cultural context of patriarchy, close community, and extended family. In today’s mess, I think it would be a horrible idea. I support it because young men and women (and for that matter, older men and women) are generally poor decision-makers, especially when romantic emotions are involved. Having the parents make the final decision makes sure that an experienced, positively disinterested party is making the decision. In general, it would more often work out in the long-run.

  6. “Having the parents make the final decision makes sure that an experienced, positively disinterested party is making the decision. In general, it would more often work out in the long-run.”

    In arranged marriage cultures, of which I have ample experience, parents are NOT “positively disinterested”. They select daughters/sons-in-law to suit their own personal interests more than the interests of their own sons and daughters.

    Like the rest of the clueless “manosphere” you appear to have an infantile utopian fantasy of arranged marriage.

  7. You had her at “cute’s better than hot. Take it from me.”

    You satisfied her emotional need to be accepted (*without glutting it*), then qualified yourself as a confident, knowledgeable man. You also took charge with the phone and denied her first opportunity to blow you off.

  8. @danny: Thanks for the link.

    @bringthereality: Thanks. I got the phone thing from somewhere on the manosphere; it seemed to work well.

    @ Tia: Given how you are attempting to derail this thread from it’s original purpose, (I have not written of arranged marriages for months, if ever) I think you may be a troll. I will no longer be responding to you except when it amuses me. As a last departing word, you are empirically wrong, arranged marriages are better:

  9. It’s a great feeling to be what God made you to be, isn’t it? With more practice and time, you’ll get better response from people in general as you practice and live in this frame.

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