Be the Kind of Man that Would Have the Kind of Life You Want

I had a sort of mini-revelation a few weeks ago. I was gonna write about it then, but didn’t get around to it, so I have no idea what inspired it. If someone else had this idea and I’m ripping you off without acknowledgment, I apologize.

But anyway, the mini-epiphany is a fairly simple concept, but it’s not something I ever put together. Here it is:

To get what you want in life you have to be the kind of man who has what you want.

It’s simple, no? Yet, it’s an elusive thought.

You can run through the approved life script, you can work hard, you can develop yourself, you can learn game, you can lift weights, you can expand your intellect, but in the end, it will all be for naught if it is not helping you progress towards your goal.

The first part of this is determing your goal. What do you want out of life? You need to decide where you want to be before you can get there. I’m still working on this myself, but I’m inching closer.

But once you’ve decided where you want to be, how do you determine what you should work on to get where you want?

Know the type of man who will have what you want, then become him.

Is there a career or job you want to have? Become the kind of employee an employer in that field would hire.

Do you want a promotion? Become the type of man your boss would promote.

Do you want your own business or to become rich? Become the type of man who would run a successful business.

Do you want to master a skill? Become the type of person who has mastered that skill.

Do you want to attract a certain type of girl? Become the type of man that type of girl couldn’t help but swoon over.

Do you want to live the life of an international player? Become the type of man who would quit his job, travel everywhere, and attract attractive women.

Whatever you want to have in life, find out what type of man who has it, then become that man.


To do this, find out who has the type of life you want. Find as many of them as you can. You have the internet, it shouldn’t be hard; there’s probably a part of the blogosphere devoted to it.

Study what they all have in common; what virtues do they share? What defines them as a group? What have they all done the same? What experiences do they share?

Once you understand what makes that type of man that type of man, become that type of man. Develop those virtues. Do those things. Have those experiences.


There is a corallary to this.

When you consider doing something (or not doing something), ask yourself the question:

Would the man who has the life I want do this?

Would a successful, rich business owner spend his evening watching TV? Or would a successful rich business owner spend his evening working on his business? What would Bill Gates do?

Would the martial arts master lie sleep-in, then laze about the house for the morning? Or would the martial arts master get up early, exercise hard, then practice his forms? What would Musashi do?

Would the successful novelist spend an hour on Facebook? Or would the successful novelist spend that hour on the next page of his novel? What would Orson Scott Card do?

Would the type of man who attracts a pretty, traditional young girl looking to be a mother spend his day masturbating to pornography? Or would he be reading his Bible and spending time developing himself as a man? What would the elder at your church with a loving wife and 6 children do?

Would the international player stay home surfing the internet? Or would the international player go to the club grinding approaches? What would Roosh do?

When you do something, you must ask yourself whether the type of man you want to be would be doing that something.

If the answer is no, maybe it is time to change your behaviour.


I admit I make it sound easy. It isn’t. I struggle hard with this. Even St. Paul had this problem.

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.

But finding out and acknowledging what you should be doing is the first step you have to take before you can accomplish your goals. Actually carrying out what you should, will require harnessing your willpower and ability.

In conclusion, become the type of man who has the type of life you want.


  1. I find it’s helpful to establish what your projects in life are, write down what you do for them every week, and sum it up. I found it makes me do way more that usually. Tangiable results motivate, not just in fitness goals.

  2. Great post! Couldn’t agree more.

    Ever since I discovered this little corner of the Internet about two years ago, I’ve been focused on soaking up as much information as possible. There’s so much advice on health, wealth, wisdom…it felt like I was having an epiphany every other day.

    But, I was so overwhelmed with all the new knowledge that it actually became difficult to put it into practice. Knowing how to live the perfect life is not the same as actually doing it. It wasn’t until I made a concentrated effort to put my knowledge into practice that I really started seeing results.

    Fortunately, even the little successes resulted in huge boosts of motivation, which in turn resulted in even more success. Thanks in large part to blogs like this one, I’m finally starting to live the life I want.

  3. “Would a successful, rich business owner spend his evening watching TV? Or would a successful rich business owner spend his evening working on his business? What would Bill Gates do?”

    There’s a corollary to this as well. If you aren’t willing to do the things that someone would do who does the things you SAY you want, then you don’t really want that thing.

    I remember hearing a story/fable/whatever about two guys looking at a Maserati through the dealership window. First guy sits there staring at it intensely, and says “I really want that car”. Second guy looks at his friend, just standing there, and says “No you don’t”. Point being he’d be doing something to get it if he wanted it, not just staring at it.

  4. Roissy likes to say you judge what a woman wants by what she does, not what she says. Well that applies to men just as much.

  5. I’ve struggled with this for a long time. The life I had for years suddenly wrenched away from a tight grasp, I was lost for a very long time. In some ways, I still am. My blog entries can attest to that. A constant search for purpose. Your post hits it right on the money. You can’t stand idle and hope its all going to fall into your lap by simple wishes. You have to put in every inch, every drop of blood and sweat, to get what you want. Anything else is admitting defeat.

  6. @ Emma: I tried that when doing the 30 Days of Discipline, but I lost the habit. I should pick it up again, it did help some.

    @ M3: The most interesting suggestion in the world.

    @ Isaac: I’ve found the same thing. There’s so much to do, that you ahve no idea where to start. At first, I tried to do everything at once, but it’s hard to sustain for that long. I’ve found concentrating on one or two things at a time, and taking it slow is working best for me. Good to hear you’re becoming the man you want to be, and glad for whatever help I could be in this.

    @ Brian: Exactly. If you want something, it needs to be pursued.

    @ Jordan: That’s something I’ve been struggling with. Searching for purpose and, especially putting my all into improvement. I slack way too much.

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