You should now have started to learn social skills and have attended martial arts instruction. The next step is to further meet people and get into better shape through a sport.
A lot of the reasons why you need a sport are similar to why you need a martial art: you’ll get in shape, the competition and learning new skills will give confidence, you’ll be able to meet new people, and, hey, being active in sports (especially winning) is attractive to many women.
To being with you probably want to join a recreational league; no offense, but you’re probably not cut out for competitive leagues. If you are, all the best to you, compete away. Also, rec leagues are usually less financially demanding.
Now, summer is over, and fall is coming up, so you’ll probably have to join a fall, winter, or all-year league at this time or find a casual, but regular, drop-in sport night. That’s fine, choose a sport that interests you and will be available in fall. Even if it’s not your first choice, play a season, then in spring register for a sport that’s more to your liking.
I’ll run down a few sports you can look at at the end of this.
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Where to Find a Sport
Your city should probably have a leisure guide. If you have no idea what kind of sport you’d like, find the leisure guide online and see what’s available that peaks your interest.
Some churches, especially the larger ones, have intramural sports, drop-ins, or a team in a church league. These are usually comparatively inexpensive as the churches often fund parts of it as a ministry or own their own facilities. If you go to a church check to see if they have something you can join; if you don’t go to church but live near a mega-church check out they have anything, they’d probably be thrilled to have you join.
Many community centres will offer some kind of sports. Check your local centre to see if they offer anything of interest.
If any of your friends, co-workers, relatives, etc. play a sport, ask if you can join them and their team.
If you are going to school (college or high school), your school will probably have intramurals of some sort. These are usually cheap and easy to join.
Larger companies will sometimes have a team in a local league of some sport or another. Check with your company/union’s social committee or the work bulletin board to see if you can find something.
If all else fails or you have a particular sport that interests you, simply google for a rec league or open-door sports night near you. You’ll find one and most allow individual registrations. There’s also more general rec leagues that will offer a variety of sports.
There are lots of ways you can find a place to play sports.
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Choosing a Sport/League
Unlike martial arts, there’s not a big list of things to watch out for. It’s pretty hard to make a scam out of rec sports; you simply show up and have fun. Make sure the cost is in your budget. Make sure the league takes safety into account and has rules of good sportsmanship. Make sure the team you’re on is good folk. Other than that, there’s not much to it, but here a few considerations for your sport:
Keep in mind cost. Some sports, such as ultimate or soccer, require little much more than park space and a ball/disc, others, such as hockey, require more equipment and/or a special facility rental.
Is it co-ed? Some leagues are, some aren’t. Which you want to join will be up to you. Co-ed leagues are generally less ruthlessly competitive and will often have more rules concerning safety/sportsmanship. On the other hand, you’ll get a chance to meet some women in a co-ed league and it will likely be more casual/less intense. Which is better depends entirely on your preferences.
Is it an individual sport or a team sport? Simple enough, a team sport will give you more chance to interact and develop bonds with a small group within an us vs. them context, while an individual sport will be lead to more loose interactions dependent more on your actions. I’d suggest a team sport, especially if you intend to try to make friends, but its up to you.
Do you have the time? Some sports demand more time than others. Since you’ll be playing rec league, it probably won’t require more than one game a week and possibly an occasional practice, but make sure you can commit to that game on that night. You don’t won’t to be the asshole whose always letting the team down.
You can choose a league or a drop-in/pick-up sport. A league will require more commitment from you; drop-in nights are more casual. Drop-in nights or pick-up games are usually not as easy to find as they are often associated with particular organizations or a group of friends rather than a rec league which is generally open to all.
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Recommended Sports
Below are some popular rec league games you can try to join:
Ultimate – Ultimate Disc has become an increasingly popular sport in recent years. It’s cheap and it’s a good workout. There’s no contact and big on sportsmanship. It’s usually co-ed and mandates gender numbers per team, so it has a comparitively high number of females playing. It can be played most of the year, outdoors in summer and fall leagues and indoors in winter. Indoor leaguse are more physically demanding and faster due to the smaller field space. It’s a good choice for a sport.
Soccer – Along with ultimate one of the two I’d recommend. It’s generally cheap, a good workout, and fun. It’s also low contact with both outdoor leagues in the summer and indoor all-year round.
Hockey – I’m Canadian, so I have to mention this. It’s played in winter, but street hockey leagues can be played in the summer. It can be one of the more intense and high contact sport and due to the need for ice and safety equipment it can be more expensive, but is it ever fun. Broomball and sponge hockey are usually a less intense and less expensive alternative.
Basketball – The classic sport; not overly expensive. Generally male and often more competitive. Teams can often be smaller than in most other team sports. A good one to try.
Football – Contact football will be expensive and there’s not many rec leagues for it due to the chances of injury. You’ll probably be able to find a touch or flag football league if you like football. It’s usually outdoors and doesn’t run in winter. It’s usually male only and can be more competitive and intense than the other sports here.
Baseball – The American classic. A summer sport of moderate expense due to the specialized field and personal equipment. The large team size and slow game pace makes it well-oriented to getting to know other people, but doesn’t provide as much physical activity. It will often be slo-pitch in rec leagues. Baseball rec leagues are rarer and will usually be mostly male; softball/slo-pitch are more common and will be higher proportion of women.
Bowling – The classic working-man’s game. It doesn’t require much of a work-out but its relaxed pace and atmosphere gives you plenty of time and opportunity to shoot the shit. It goes all year-round and is easier to join as it less tied to seasons than other sports, but it can be a bit more expensive due to lane costs. Ten-pin has heavier balls and more pins; I prefer it, but a lot prefer the smaller balls of 5-pin. If you want to join, contact a bowling centre.
Dodgeball – SWPL-types have adopted this children’s game for adults. If you enjoyed it as a kid and don’t mind SWPL-types it can be fun. It can go all year round.
Racquet Sports – Rec leagues will usually use badminton, but tennis and the rest are similar. It’s an individual sport (or teams of two), so most of the people you meet will be competitors, meaning you’ll have to try a bit harder to get to know people.
Volleyball – Not much to say on this. Do you like volleyball? Also, it generally has a higher proportion of women than other sports.
There’s a bunch of other sports, but those are some of my suggestions to look for. You’ve probably played most of them in gym class as a kid so you already know which ones you enjoy.
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Your Goal:
This week, your goal is to find a local rec league and join the fall season. Alternatively, you can find a weekly drop-in/pick-up night and join that.
This is stellar!
I would quibble that you’d more likely be playing softball than baseball and dodgeball isn’t a sport but an exercise to develop cruelty. Depending on ones level of athletic ability and sport chosen, some classes beforehand might be usefull, Groupon sometimes has beginning tennis lessons, if not there’s always a clinic to join, a local community college will have intro classes in tennis and golf. The local Y probably has racquetball courts.
I think you’re time frame might be geared a little more towards a lesser beta than a stone cold omega. Start piling the stuff on and the conditions are created for failure. I think someone who is a genuine omega would need to consider that they’ll spend at least a year, most likely longer to account for backsteps (certainly much longer for me). Maybe a better time frame would be: complete the first 6 speeches in toastmasters, add on martial arts, complete the first 20 hours of training add the next layer.
Right now one should be considering what sport they want to play in the spring and spend the next few months practicing. It is of no value to join a sport with no skills at all and be humiliated during play.
Also, I would suggest you add something about quelling the negative self talk a fellow can go through. I may have been a particularly bad case but I could never have gotten past the idea of joining a volleyball league and if somehow I did, it would have been a disaster setting me back at least a year due to what I was telling myself at the time.”Overcoming the Myth of Self Worth” was a book that changed it for me. I’m sure there are others but, it takes time to modify the negative self chatter.
I personally like rock climbing, but it’s generally a sausage fest. On the other hand, the girls who do it are generally very fit — you can’t really be good at climbing and be fat. You can go by yourself (bouldering), or with a partner and make friends and trade belays. Will help you build up to a good V-taper which the ladies love.
If you’ve always been interested in learning how to dance (and it obviously is a useful skill) that’s probably going to be my next foray into learning a “movement based activity.”
Does anyone have any recommandations on what types of dancing to start with? Salsa? Ballroom? Etc.?
Consider fencing, too. Technically a martial art, though. My experience fencing in a small club and eventually tournaments provided great social and ferindship opportunities. Since it’s a somewhat obscure sport, fencers willingly coach each other to improve each other’s skills.
@ McCoy: It is going too fast, but I’m trying to keep it up. If I left it to just once a month, I’d lose the momentum and would become just another half-finished project. Once I’m done and putting it together I’ll make a more realistic timeline. I had a little bit of the nervous talk earlier, but it should have more. It’s something I’ll probably add to the completed work.
@ DS: Rock climbing’s a good one. I’ll have to add it. I’ve done swing and rather enjoyed it. It’s also what Captain Capitalism does. It’ll come in a future post.
@ LSCS: Fencing was included in the MA post.
@DeepStrength I’d recommend Salsa or something like Le Roc, they’re more versatile for improving your dancing with girls outside of the class. Le Roc is a lot more cheesy, kind of jive based, but quite modern. Salsa is my dance of choice, it’s pretty sexy, you’ll meet a lot of girls who use the class almost as speed-dating and since in partner work, the guy leads it sets the right frame.
And salsa encourages good hip movement so you’re general dancing improves, ballroom is a lot more rigid. Although, if you get good at it can be awesome. For fun, Salsa everytime. Especially if you can find a cuban-style teacher.
@ FN, TLL
Thanks for the tips. I’ll probably look into Salsa first then Swing.
CrossFit, anyone?
@ DS: No problem.
@ CA: Crossfit will be mentioned in later post in the series.