If you’ve been reading here for a while, you’ve noticed my contributions have generally been theoretical rather than practical. The reason being I am still a beta slowly working on self-improvement (with as much failure as success), rather than the patriarch I plan to be, and am thus not in a position to provide much practical advice on becoming alpha with any authority.
On the other hand, I think there is one area where I can offer some solid advice that is lacking. I have found that most of the advice in the manosphere is geared towards the beta, the average man of moderate social abilities with a circle of friends and the occasional success with woman. Very rarely is advice given that is addressed to the omega, the man with no social abilities, few, if any friends, and no success with women. I have mentioned I used to be an omega, in both the conventional and Voxian sense, who through years of effort, hard-work, and self-improvement became a better version of myself, so I think I can help fill this gap.
Thus begins part one of the Omega’s Guide to Not Being a Loser (maybe someone can help me think of a better title).
First, some information on what this guide is and is not. This is not a guide for becoming an alpha male admired by all; it is a guide for becoming a socially functional member of society. This guide will not help you score dozens of chicks, but it will help you talk to girls and get the occasional relationship. This guide will not make you a leader of men, but it will help you acquire a circle of friends. This guide will not help you rule the club each weekend, but it will help it so that you have social activities to attend most weekends. This guide is not about changing who you are, but rather making you a better, happier, more fulfilled version of yourself; I am not trying to make an introvert into an extrovert, but even the most introverted need some social interaction.
This guide is for the omega, the loser, the socially maladjusted who wants to better himself and get more out of life.
How to tell if this guide is for you:
- You spend most of your Friday and Saturday evenings at home playing video games or surfing 4chan rather than spending time with friends.
- You have few friends, wish you had more, but don’t know how to make some.
- You have few social activities that aren’t church, work, or school related; ie. places where people are more or less forced to accept you.
- You spend 30-40 or more hours a week on the internet or video games.
- You are unable to carry on a decent conversation with strangers, ie; Anything beyond “Hi.” “How are you?” “I’m doing well.” is awkward, if it happens at all.
- You have unable to carry on a conversation with a girl.
- You are unable to initiate a conversation with a girl.
- You have liked a girl for months (years) and have never talked with her beyond the occasional hello or perfunctory, “How are you?”
- You are miserable and lonely, but have no idea how to fix it.
- You feel incapable of reading other people’s emotional states and the actions and emotions of other people confuse you.
- You often bored with life in general.
Do a fair amount of these honestly apply to you? If they do, you are likely an omega and you are who this guide is aimed to.
Now, be honest with yourself. It may suck to acknowledge that you are on the bottom of the social hierarchy, but you can’t improve your life until you realize you have improving to do. You don’t have to tell me, but you do have to tell yourself.
So, this is the first step to no longer being a loser:
Acknowledge to yourself that you need to improve yourself.
It is not normal and not healthy to have no friends, to be lonely, to spend all your free times in your room alone on your electronic devices, and to be unable to talk to girls or strangers.
Don’t split hairs (I browse Reddit, not 4chan and three weeks ago I spent Saturday at Games Workshop). Don’t rationalize (I’m an introvert, I don’t need friends; I’m happy being alone). Don’t feel hopeless (why would anybody want to spend time with me?). You know perfectly well you are lonely and miserable and wish you could be different. So, let me help you help yourself.
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I have a loose plan for this project, but if you want something specific covered, feel free to ask.
With this series I am going to develop a plan to help Omegas and losers develop themselves into socially capable people with lives they can enjoy. Omegas (and Voxian gammas) are the target audience. If you are not an omega, I still feel free to read along, you might still get something out of it. As well, feel free to comment and provide any information you think may be relevant.
Once I’m done, I might compile the series into a pamphlet or short book if I think there is enough demand for it, and if I do so, I will use suggestions given to improve it.
heartily approve. It’s a niche to be filled. You’ve inspired me to plot out some rough outlines of a guide for gamma men (I’m a gamma who has just barely become a beta over the last couple years (Voxian definitions)).
I would not be surprised to find that gammas and omegas make up a majority of the readers of the manosphere. They need some help beyond shaming, and they tend to shy away from Victor Pride’s advice unless they have hit rock bottom.
Now this a worthy project. I will follow it with interest.
Let me know if you want some outside info on someone who has been there.
Interesting. Might steal your idea a bit Free, if yous don’t mind? I’m the same as you I think.
Off the top of my head:
-Gammas/Omegas are quite a bit behind in terms of social skills. All things considered, a delta will be able to improve a LOT quicker than a gamma/omega. You don’t undo years of bullshit just like that. So be patient.
-If you are joining a club, join a boxing club, or a proper martial arts club like Brazilian Ju Jujitsu/MMA. Take universities for example, which tend to have societies and clubs. You want to go for these ones and stay the fuck away from video game clubs, writing clubs that are filled with pretentious hipster fucktards, bullshit self defense like Ninjitsu or something, and whatnot.
-Gamma breeds gamma. A gamma male will not like it if yous are doing better than him. They will cockblock you in a club, they will say shit about yous to get laid. If that is the case, fucken bail. Ditch the cunt and never go back. Toxic people.
-Gammas often have co dependency tendencies. If yous have hate for a narcissistic mother for example, let it go, accept it that it wasn’t your fault, BUT that doesn’t mean you wallow in self pity. The Rawness “I’m good as I am, but I can do better”
-You are not as smart as you think you are honestly. You have a 140 IQ? Great! So what have you done with it? Show me that hot piece of ass or that proof of Fermat’s Last Theorem. Otherwise, yous be a fucken midwit. The point is, don’t rationalize shit away. IQ and being introverted tend to be big ones.
-Gamma fantasies=finding the hot piece of ass at the side of the road and her in trouble and yous get the knight in shining armor thing one. Bullshit. Get it into your fucken head. Women are just as flawed as men in different ways. Stop fantasizing about the lassie who is EXACTLY like you in personality, a version of you with tits, stop fantasting about being the hero cunt, its not going to happen.
-Read books like How to Make Friends and Influence People, Thinking Fast and Slow, and blogs like Barking up the wrong tree. Robert Greene books are good too in that they will keep your head above water while many a cunt fights it out.
-Lift weights/no porn/paleo diet etc.Even the ugliest men, the short fat bald Costanza type can look pretty damn good with the right dress/physique.
-Read the Great Books for Men, lozozozozozozozlozozoz.
-If you have social anxiety, get help for it, get therapy. Yous be surprised how good en aw. Oh, and stay away from female therapists if possible.
– Ignore posts like this: http://unmaskingfeminism.wordpress.com/2013/07/14/the-modern-day-lepers-gamma-and-omega-men/
There’s more, but I’ll leave it there ken. I think I’m the same as yous, but this stuff has helped me anyway. Be interested to see what you think.
Yep, been there (sometimes go back and visit). Like the above mentioned. Sometimes you gotta get mental help. People aren’t born like that (Omega thinking). Stuff happens to them thru infancy on up and they lead a shame bound life. We can talk about self limiting beliefs and whatnot, but you’re gonna need help if it runs deep. Those thoughts will be sub conscious and sabotage any attempts at self improvement.
For basic social skills read the site succeed socially and charismaarts.com.
For inner game read this:
http://authenticmanprogram.com/downloads/InnerGameStickingPoints.pdf
Lift weights, train martial arts and take up meditation to sort out lack of confidence and anxiety issues.
Taking up salsa dancing or similar and then spending a lot time at salsa parties etc. will give you easy access to social environments with lots of women and men that meet up on a regular basis. The dance thing makes it easy to come into contact with the women and accustoms you to physical contact with them (and in a sensual way).
Speaking as a guy who started off at the bottom this is a worthy idea. Shed some weight, hit the gym and forced myself through cold approaches(at first litteraly head down eyes at feet when opening)…but takes years. And guys also need to know will be a ton of hard work, with basically no front end rewards. Important to keep eye on the prize and remember the little victories that come.
Should be interesting and I look forward to your series
It’d be nice if betas could be referred to as stalwarts, that’s more in line with what they are and recognizes that without a whole lot of stalwart males taking a lot crap from the sociopath alphas, the center does not hold. It’d also be nice if Gammas and Deltas be treated with compassion by other men cause god knows they aint getting it from the women.
A form of martial arts training should be mandatory. After a very short period of time, a month maybe, most men will be reborn. One doesn’t have to be a black belt but getting in the riing, on the mat, removes that fear of the unknown or at least puts it in perspective. It is a tremendous thing to walk through time and space with genuine confidence. I believe the reason there are so many overweight men, morbidly obese men, is that they’ve never been in a fight and are in perpetual fear,the body gains the weight to try and do something to protect itself. Goes for women to in a sense.
Lift weights if you want, just consider any confidence gained is mostly narcissicism. Real confidence is based on taking and throwing a punch. I highly recommend krav maga to start. Fight Club indeed.
In any event, this is a wonderful project that I look forward to following. As a late bloomer myself, I still struggle with doubts and questions and other perspectives on what I’ve been through, which I suspect isn’t much different from most guys, almost brings a tear to my eye.
The grand thing about being a late bloomer is most of ones contemporaries have become stagnant, it is gratifying to see the tables turn.
Thanks for the kind words y’all.
@ student: This is the internet, gammas and omegas probably make up the majority of most male oriented sites.
@ Francis and Sherlock: Good advice, a lot of that will be touched on in the guide.
@ McCoy: It’s too bad that betas (deltas) get the short end of the stick; we need them to keep society grinding. Being able to changes yourself later on in life is definitely one of the advantages of blooming late.
Coming here from a recommendation on M3’s fantastic redpill blog… I’m anxious to see more of this series… yes, female reader but not a feminist… I’m just learning more about redpill stuff (only been into it a year) in hopes of treating men better and gaining more understanding. I fully believe the way things are is toxic to both men and women alike, so new changes are in order. Good intro, reading on… I’m Lianne. :)
Hi Lianne, good to see you here and I hope the series can be of use to you.
I have been omega and beta with brief flashes of alpha. But somewhere in the last two years or so I’ve crawled so far “in my shell” that I have backslid into being a gamma at best and self-loathing omega at worst, worse still because I have the memory of how awesome things were when I was getting a handle on my life and now wonder what the hell happened.
Thank you for helping to light a path back to something healthier.
I have found that most of the advice in the manosphere is geared towards the beta, the average man of moderate social abilities with a circle of friends and the occasional success with woman. Very rarely is advice given that is addressed to the omega, the man with no social abilities, few, if any friends, and no success with women.
Great stuff; a badly-needed series, and nobody better fit to provide it than a good Christian man.
I have related elsewhere that many moons ago, when I was much younger, all it took for me to begin the vault from oblivion into my full potential was the sudden realization that it was possible. Once I realized that, I was able to “grow into myself” – and your readers can do the same.
This is excellent stuff. Every man, no matter his rank on the social hierarchy, should be encouraged to improve themselves. This will help a lot of men who have potential.
Thank you I have finally found the source of most of my angst, this is truly a turning point in my life. With that, Ken your response was incredible I applaud you, I feel i have some gamma qualities. Help and support would be greatly appreciated, thank you all.
Will read through the whole series, as I’m in my forties and need to break free from these shackles!
Good evening Sir,
I just want to know if you will write a text on the sigma male, as I’ve noticed it is absent from your website ? Especially since your logo at the top of your page is a lone wolf screaming in the forest ? And a sigma male is a lone wolf. It seems that many rules that apply to even gammas are not applicable to them, since they are kind of outcasts, out of these games, hierarchies, social stratification.
I will be glad to read you on this topic.
N.B. I love your website. I consider it one of the best in Canada.