So, there seems to have been some misunderstanding on my marital consent post, it was short and to the point to avoid being twisted. Maybe it was too to the point, so here’s parts of a Twitter conversation with Dave Futrelle (who kindly deigned to mock my words) that may clarify some things:
@DavidFutrelle Abusing your wife is unloving and a grievous sin.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle @DoubleEmMartin Did you even read what I wrote? Every marriage has a pledge of love, of which sex is a major implied part. — Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle The passage you left out, particularly “words have meaning” and abuse /= rape was fundamental to understanding the post.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle Engage my argument: there is abusive sex, there is no marital rape as a concept.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle @DoubleEmMartin Against her will? How can honouring a contractual pledge given freely be against someone’s will?
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DoubleEmMartin @DavidFutrelle What’s your opinion on spousal support? Also, you do sign to provide sex to your beloved. So you kinda do.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DoubleEmMartin @DavidFutrelle Also, in a Christian marriage, you absolutely do. The Bible is quite clear on that.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle Your on the verge of understanding. The marital contract is a contract of consent.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle @DoubleEmMartin the bank then demands I repay them as per the contract. Are they forcing to give them money against my will?
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle @DoubleEmMartin On the other hand, if I pay them, but they come to my house and burn it down for kicks, that’s abuse.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle @DoubleEmMartin No, because pegging is not standard sex as implied by the contract.If she forced it anyway it would be abuse.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle @DoubleEmMartin Forcing any of that would be abuse.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle @DoubleEmMartin In fact “forcing” even normal sex would probably be abuse (but not rape).
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle @DoubleEmMartin Yes I have. As I said, love, of which sex is both major and implied, is pledged in any marital contract.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle Do you not understand the word ‘implied’?
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle @DoubleEmMartin Then they could do so, and then he’d have to follow through.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle @KateHarding Denying someone the agency to make choices and hold to them would seem to be denying their humanity.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@DavidFutrelle @KateHarding Agency is what makes us human.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@KateHarding @DavidFutrelle My argument fundamentally assumes women have agency. Dave’s is the one denying them it.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014
@KateHarding @DavidFutrelle I assume they have agency period. Dave would deny them agency by denying them the ability to make a contract.
— Free Northerner (@FreeNortherner) May 25, 2014